Sudden change

[Blue_mist]

I came to Canada as LGBTQ2 refugee in 2017 and i haven't seen any family member since. 2 weeks ago i suddenly received a text message from my niece telling me that she was at Pearson Airport. I drove 4 hours to pick her up, i felt something i missed for 5 years, finally I'm going to see one of my family after long time of solitude and loneliness. I drove her to my house and she is staying with me now, suicide is not in my mind since she arrived and i feel secure and relaxed. I hope she will stay longer and provide some kind of support. I know this story means nothing to you guys but I just wanted to share it with you, I'm so scared of what's going to happen when she goes back home but I'm trying my best to live the moment and just put my brain in ignorance mode.
Now I'm certain that my suicidal ideation is due to insecurity and loneliness and I hope this will change soon, otherwise, I will be back to the dark again.

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

I know this story means nothing to you guys but I just wanted to share it with you

I'm glad you shared it. I hope her visit is a really good time for you and encourage you to continue to live in the moment and cherish it all.

 

[Blue_mist]

I'm glad you shared it. I hope her visit is a really good time for you and encourage you to continue to live in the moment and cherish it all.

Thanks for the kind words

 

[Smart No More]

Well now you know the root cause of your issue you have a very real basis to work from and fix things. It may be that things don't return to an ideal point with family but you can put some feelers out through your niece. You can discuss with her, how much it means to see her and what you'd like to see come of things. Hopefully at the very least you can maintain an ongoing relationship with her. It may be that she identifies with your plight as LGBTQ. Maybe that's why she turned up so suddenly?

It's prudent now to prepare for disappointment as its clearly a big issue for you. Maybe it could help to seek relationships in your community that would provide a healthy replacement for those connections you may not regain from the family dynamic. Hope that's not insensitive to say. I'm just thinking ahead for you as a kind of preemptive strike for buffering a worst case scenario. It can never hurt to have more of those kind of connections, right?!

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I know this story means nothing to you guys but I just wanted to share it with you

I'm thankful you shared it, I'm happy for you. ♥

I'm sorry you've had to leave your home country because of who you are. I hope Canada has been treating you well.

 

[downndone2]

I'm so happy for you! Cherish your time and if she does go remember how it felt. Keep in touch with her if she does return home. Reconnect with those you can. Meet new people. I'm really glad you are feeling good!

 

[Forever Sleep]

I came to Canada as LGBTQ2 refugee in 2017 and i haven't seen any family member since. 2 weeks ago i suddenly received a text message from my niece telling me that she was at Pearson Airport. I drove 4 hours to pick her up, i felt something i missed for 5 years, finally I'm going to see one of my family after long time of solitude and loneliness. I drove her to my house and she is staying with me now, suicide is not in my mind since she arrived and i feel secure and relaxed. I hope she will stay longer and provide some kind of support. I know this story means nothing to you guys but I just wanted to share it with you, I'm so scared of what's going to happen when she goes back home but I'm trying my best to live the moment and just put my brain in ignorance mode.
Now I'm certain that my suicidal ideation is due to insecurity and loneliness and I hope this will change soon, otherwise, I will be back to the dark again.

That's lovely to hear. I think extended periods alone can make us start to think that we simply CAN'T interact with other people anymore- that we've somehow lost that capacity.

I know exactly what you mean. I live many miles away from my family and friends. Quite often it's years between seeing them. Haven't seen anyone for any length of time since the beginning of covid now. When I do suddenly find myself around family/friends, there is this weird adjustment period initially before remembering how nice it actually is to have people around you that love and support you.

I can understand your fear about when she leaves. Are you able to maybe fix a date when you can see each other again? Or maybe other family members? That used to help me with my best friend (although sadly, we've rather lost touch now). It's a really positive thing that you've identified what can help you. It's so easy to let things slide though, so if you can make future plans now, I think that might be something to look forward to and help you through those darker phases. All the best to you.

 

[FuneralCry]

I am pleased for you that this happened and I wish you the best. I hope you are able to find relief from your suffering for as long as you possibly can.

 

[Blue_mist]

Thank you guys for your supportive responses, they mean a lot to me. Last night she was open to me and we discussed many things. She is planning to seek asylum based on sexual orientation and family abuse, i know for certain she's been abused by her parents for years and i hope things will go well in the near future. Thank again