stubborn as fuck

[hopelesswanderer]

Anyone else stubborn as fuck when it comes to their method? I could go to a certain part of town and get some pills that are laced and would do the trick. But I'm too fucking proud or stubborn to do that. I've got 2 yrs of sobriety and I refuse to die looking like I've relapsed. I gotta die in some other way. Is that just me? Kinda pathetic to care what people think about me after I die right?

 

[hikikomorizombie]

Kinda pathetic right?

no not @ all, esp considering ur v valid reason. if possible, every1 should get to die exactly how they want. kys is a huge decision, & it's 100% up to u the method u wanna go out by.

 

[Deadfrogwalking]

I've thought about this a quite a bit as my time gets closer and closer.
Everyone has different reasons, different experiences and different realities they are living with, or slowly dying because of. I used to be very concerned about what others would think about me, learning I took my own life willingly.
In the quest for a partner, my method is open now, it wasn't before, partnering up requires looking at all methods to meet someone else's needs as well as mine. A person who I explored the option of death with made a very valid point,
In the end, people will think what they want to deal with the reality of me/you being gone.
I will be dead, in the end nothing truly matters, hopefully I will finally be at peace, personally I will no longer let stubbornness or the mind game of what others think or may think exert external pressure on my method or mission.
Peace is the goal, if I could find peace in others, it would seem rational to worry about their concerns, knowing the human condition ultimately resides in one's self first, it seems very irrational now to worry about the mindset of those left behind.
My opinion, my reality, no insult or judgment to anyone that sees it differently.

 

[hopelesswanderer]

no not @ all, esp considering ur v valid reason. if possible, every1 should get to die exactly how they want. kys is a huge decision, & it's 100% up to u the method u wanna go out by.

Thank you! :)

I've thought about this a quite a bit as my time gets closer and closer.
Everyone has different reasons, different experiences and different realities they are living with, or slowly dying because of. I used to be very concerned about what others would think about me, learning I took my own life willingly.
In the quest for a partner, my method is open now, it wasn't before, partnering up requires looking at all methods to meet someone else's needs as well as mine. A person who I explored the option of death with made a very valid point,
In the end, people will think what they want to deal with the reality of me/you being gone.
I will be dead, in the end nothing truly matters, hopefully I will finally be at peace, personally I will no longer let stubbornness or the mind game of what others think or may think exert external pressure on my method or mission.
Peace is the goal, if I could find peace in others, it would seem rational to worry about their concerns, knowing the human condition ultimately resides in one's self first, it seems very irrational now to worry about the mindset of those left behind.
My opinion, my reality, no insult or judgment to anyone that sees it differently.

Thank you for sharing this. I am not fully there yet in terms of accepting the idea but I get the point and it is valid. In the end, everyone will think what they want, and none of it matters anyway.