Venting Struggling with life

[Sleepwalkuntilsane]

How do people even function? There is just so much stuff I need to do to reach the bare minimum of a functioning human. I feel like just doing my college work is like lifting a huge boulder that I can't get a good grip on. Then I look at other people who are doing the same thing as me except they also have a job and a social circle and are in a relationship and join clubs. How can they do it? What do they have that I don't? I feel like some sort of malformed copy of what a person is meant to be, it takes so much out of me just to get out of bed in the morning and go through the motions of hygiene and class and social obligations. I feel like I'm in a endless nightmare when I'm awake, and the little amount of sleep I get is my only refuge. I know that everybody has their own personal struggles in life but it feels like I'm in a race with everybody else only I have thousand pound weights strapped to my body. I want it to get better but I'm working myself to exhaustion and emotional collapse every day. Any advice for how to make going through the day any better?

 

[fedup1982]

It seems like part of your tortuous experience is due to you beating yourself up for things you aren't able to do.

I think you need to practice self love, giving yourself the understand you deserve that no, not everyone has the same bandwidth for things they can handle in life.

Have you been to a psychiatrist? I wouldn't be surprised if your problems are treatable?

 

[Sleepwalkuntilsane]

It seems like part of your tortuous experience is due to you beating yourself up for things you aren't able to do.

I think you need to practice self love, giving yourself the understand you deserve that no, not everyone has the same bandwidth for things they can handle in life.

Have you been to a psychiatrist? I wouldn't be surprised if your problems are treatable?

I do see a psychiatrist and I have been seeing them since middle school. I take various meds as well. Those two things have helped but they haven't mitigated my struggles enough. The problem is I want to be social and in clubs and have a job, its just that the most basic things take so much out of me.

 

[fedup1982]

I do see a psychiatrist and I have been seeing them since middle school. I take various meds as well. Those two things have helped but they haven't mitigated my struggles enough. The problem is I want to be social and in clubs and have a job, its just that the most basic things take so much out of me.

I struggled in uni too. Except I ended up failing because I neglected studies to socialise. It's a shame because social opportunities in uni are unmatched, so I know how you must feel missing out on that. I think you'll need to decide where your priorities lay with everything so you can prioritise

 

[deny_conformity]

I struggled at Uni, ended up passing but came out with a 2ii so not a lot better than passing. I was never able to socialise in the typical student manner and just hung out with housemates and my girlfriend. I managed to get some part time work in between terms but I was exhausted by the end and it exacerbated my underlying mental health and I got diagnosed with cyclothymia (which has since been changed to bipolar). I started on medication which was a mixed bag because I was more stable bur my memory was crap.

I guess the main message is to not push yourself too hard and be kind to yourself. Don't compare yourself to "normal" people and do the best you can within reason. Don't push yourself until you burn out.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think some of it is down to mindset. I found life easier to tackle at least- when I had a firm belief in what I was aiming for. I think the problem with being unhappy is that there's also a voice inside that questions whether any of it really matters.

While we might not be able to change that entirely, I think we can influence our motivation levels by working on our physical health.

For literally a year, I've been letting myself fall apart. Neglecting diet, exercise, my environment and to some degree- hygiene. I've reached a point where doing what I need to, to simply get by is such a struggle. So at long last yesterday- I made myself exercise a little. Maybe it's psychological but, I feel that slightly bit better today.

It's still going to be a struggle, no doubt but- when our physical body isn't fit for purpose- it makes everything else so much harder.

Of course, I don't know what your lifestyle is like. Maybe you are already doing those things. I suppose for me though- I do know exercise benefits me. Even if I hate the process of doing it. It actually gives me more energy. It doesn't need to be a lot either. I only did around 5 minutes worth yesterday. I think that's worth a try.

There's that old chesnut that: 'Comparison is the thief of joy.' Maybe, when you look at these other people doing so much- if it's something you actually want also- you can try to figure out how to get the energy to do more. But, if all you're going to do is shame yourself, I don't think it's helpful. I think you need to really think about what you want.

I also knew a work colleague who used to go on to clubs after work. Seemed to be doing all sorts. Another friend used to swim in her lunch hour! I did really admire/ sort of envy them. But then, really thinking about it, I wasn't 100% sure I wanted to be doing those things.

If there's something you do want though- maybe try to comit to it. Join a club or whatever- so that you have to be there at a certain time.

Really though- if it genuinely feels too much, I also agree with other members- that you shouldn't push yourself and beat yourself up. Sometimes, we can only handle a certain amount. Maybe we'll always be like that. I think it's more important you are following your own needs. Not feeling obliged to match others.