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toomuchgrief

a grieving mother
Sep 15, 2019
401
zero family here in this country (in my homeland was raised by a single mom, after mom died grandma raised me, grandma also died).

here I only have a son. My son died almost 10 months ago.

I have nothing left. Every.single.day since my son death is grief, drown in my own tears, and cry myself to sleep every night.

I just want all this pain to stop.

So let say, 1000 feet deep, lots of rocks and mountains, goal is to fall straight down to the bottom.
But problem, it windy. How likely would the wind (if strong enough) to push me like I would hit the rock first, bounce myself and continue to fall down.
Probably survive?

What are the chances I will die at one thousand feet jump? I do not want to be in vegetable coma.

And let just say, if, if someone there stop me (guard rail is shoulders height, so I have to climb on there), would I get put in a mental place? No, I'm not crazy, anyone here who is a mother and lost their son know how much my grief are.

tbh, I'm deadly afraid of height, so it going to super hard for me, but this is the only method of instant death.
 
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Lilanel

Lilanel

Member
Jul 16, 2019
45
I'm very sorry to hear about your son. I know that's a type of pain you never really get over. If you ever feel up for it, I'm sure people on this forum would like to hear what he was like.

People here don't seem to be too positive about falling deaths—I believe because it is painful, obvious, and uncertain. You want to maximize your chances of (a) falling on your head, more likely to result in a quick and relatively painless death and (b) falling on a hard surface. If you are jumping off a cliff, 1000 feet, it might be difficult to ensure both of those things. If you land on a tree, for example, it could break your fall...Saving your life, but likely causing severe physical damage, preventing you from another attempt.

It depends on your country and, probably, what you say if you get caught. If you get caught, you could pretend that you were interested in getting a nicer photo, or you didn't think you'd fall. There are lots of stupid people in the world, perhaps more than suicidal people. It depends on how good of an actor you are, I guess.

Depending on your circumstances, you could choose a more effective and more private method. There are methods that will not result in severe physical damage upon failure, in the case survival instinct kicks in. I'd check the resources section.
 
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toomuchgrief

a grieving mother
Sep 15, 2019
401
Thank you Lilanel.
My son death hit me so hard, that anything memories of my son trigger me really bad, let alone his death. Even our mom son happy memories triggers me, even look at my son pictures trigger me.

I'm surprise that I bawl and cry every.single.day for the past 10 months and I'm still not fall sick, let alone dead. Morning cry, afternoon cry, night I cry myself to sleep. I lost weight because I basically don't eat much, but I still drink water. From prolong crying I started to developed this pounding headache, perhaps it migraine from crying too much. And my eyes now it begin to get blurry, it like a white cloud over my vision, I guess from crying too much. And stomach cramps from bawling too much.
But I'm still alive damn it.

I'm in the U.S. And I'm sure jump is my method, it the only method where I make sure my body be crush and dead (I strongly prefer land on hard solid/rock, not water).
U.S. citizen can get a gun for protecting themselves, but Nahh, I don't want to go the gun route because I heard alot of stories that if you don't know where the critical spot is, one aim wrong will put you in a vegetable coma stage forever, that is worser than dead.

And I'm worry someone might pull me down when I climb over the guard rail to jump and put me in a mental institution.
I have to do research and plan my dead because I need a place where there a time where not much people round, I want to make sure NO one going to pull me back. I'm not crazy, last thing I want is to put in a mental institution where they take away my human rights and freedom.

Thank you everyone in here who came across this thread, if you have any advice please if you can help me. Wind, 1000 feet jump, I just want to make sure it the end of it, I do NOT want to be rescue.
 
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Punished

Member
Jun 17, 2019
27
Thank you Lilanel.
My son death hit me so hard, that anything memories of my son trigger me really bad, let alone his death. Even our mom son happy memories triggers me, even look at my son pictures trigger me.

I'm surprise that I bawl and cry every.single.day for the past 10 months and I'm still not fall sick, let alone dead. Morning cry, afternoon cry, night I cry myself to sleep. I lost weight because I basically don't eat much, but I still drink water. From prolong crying I started to developed this pounding headache, perhaps it migraine from crying too much. And my eyes now it begin to get blurry, it like a white cloud over my vision, I guess from crying too much. And stomach cramps from bawling too much.
But I'm still alive damn it.

I'm in the U.S. And I'm sure jump is my method, it the only method where I make sure my body be crush and dead (I strongly prefer land on hard solid/rock, not water).
U.S. citizen can get a gun for protecting themselves, but Nahh, I don't want to go the gun route because I heard alot of stories that if you don't know where the critical spot is, one aim wrong will put you in a vegetable coma stage forever, that is worser than dead.

And I'm worry someone might pull me down when I climb over the guard rail to jump and put me in a mental institution.
I have to do research and plan my dead because I need a place where there a time where not much people round, I want to make sure NO one going to pull me back. I'm not crazy, last thing I want is to put in a mental institution where they take away my human rights and freedom.

Thank you everyone in here who came across this thread, if you have any advice please if you can help me. Wind, 1000 feet jump, I just want to make sure it the end of it, I do NOT want to be rescue.

I am so sorry for your loss. My son also passed away last year. The pain, and helplessness, are unbearable. I wish that you find some kind of peace.

There is a jumping megethread you can search for in the Suicide forum that will have a lot of the information you might need. A 1000ft jump is most certain to be fatal. Are you landing on water, concrete, sand? This may effect your outcome. Be sure to research the jumping threads to find good answers.
 
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ProlongedSentence

Member
Mar 14, 2019
77
zero family here in this country (in my homeland was raised by a single mom, after mom died grandma raised me, grandma also died).

here I only have a son. My son died almost 10 months ago.

I have nothing left. Every.single.day since my son death is grief, drown in my own tears, and cry myself to sleep every night.

I just want all this pain to stop.

So let say, 1000 feet deep, lots of rocks and mountains, goal is to fall straight down to the bottom.
But problem, it windy. How likely would the wind (if strong enough) to push me like I would hit the rock first, bounce myself and continue to fall down.
Probably survive?

What are the chances I will die at one thousand feet jump? I do not want to be in vegetable coma.

And let just say, if, if someone there stop me (guard rail is shoulders height, so I have to climb on there), would I get put in a mental place? No, I'm not crazy, anyone here who is a mother and lost their son know how much my grief are.

tbh, I'm deadly afraid of height, so it going to super hard for me, but this is the only method of instant death.
I understand. I believe you are not crazy. I am sorry for your loss and pain.
 
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toomuchgrief

a grieving mother
Sep 15, 2019
401
concrete, but there mountains and rocks, so what if the wind blow me and I hit my body on the rocks and it bounce back and I continue the free fall, would it mean I will die for sure once I hit the 1,000 feet bottom?

I'm short, I'm 5 feet 1 inches. How tall are those guard rail of bridges actually? Anyone who been to bridges before?
For sure I will need to climb my leg over and throw myself down. I just wish there no one around to stop me. Living every.single.day with grief and pain like this is no way to live. I just want to reunited with my son on the other side, and I'm sure there no other side, just darkness like when you put under anesthesia but at least I'm grief and pain free.

A 5 feet girl like me need to practice climbing something tall, because I don't think those bridges guard rail are anything shorter than 5 feet right?
 
W

woodstacker

Member
Sep 15, 2019
15
Condolences. Wow, losing a child sounds horrific. And all the others. You have lived with many loses. I don't think I could be anywhere close to as strong as you've been.
 
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toomuchgrief

a grieving mother
Sep 15, 2019
401
Thank you woodstacker, that is why I really want to go. I have ZERO immediate family left. My mom (who was a single mom) died young, and I was raised by my grandma, and my grandma died too. It was back in my homeland.
Here my life in the US, I only have my son, I carried this baby in my belly, birth him, raised him. And now he gone too.
I really have nothing to live for. I really want to end all this.

But I need to plan my dead. My only obstacle is I'm 5 feet tall. And those bridges barrier or guard rail which I'm sure it at least my height right? Which mean I have to climb over with one leg, then try to get the other leg up, and throw my body down. What if during the process someone saw me? Obviously I can't say I'm taking pictures of the mountains or rocks.

Anyone been to bridges before? Please share with me about those rail barrier.
 
okaoki

okaoki

last
Aug 4, 2018
251
I'm sorry for your lost , i'm not good at words and english as well , my method are same as you - jumping
i have not choose where when how yet , i too hope for a painless death and it's the only way for me .
i wish your sufferings ends soon and be at peace.
 
T

toomuchgrief

a grieving mother
Sep 15, 2019
401
sooo I must do this before Christmas snow time right? Because I heard that if there snow under the bridge, chances are I will fall into the snow and it will save me, yes?
So always thumb of rule, fall to the hard rock, not snow on the rock right? How much would snow effect the death outcome?
 

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