Deleted member 17949

Deleted member 17949

Visionary
May 9, 2020
2,238
Back when I first started having suicidal thoughts the "oh no parents will be sad" thought was the main barrier for me. I couldn't stomach the thought of leaving to hang myself and them having to report me missing, wait for a long time and eventually find that I'd just died.

Recently this has just stopped bothering me. As far as I'm concerned all the events that happen after me dying will never be seen by me, so they're not relevant and I don't need to empathize with them. On top of this, I'm sick of pretending to be okay around my parents and this has definitely turned into some resentment. I just don't care what they think anymore. I feel a little guilty but overall I don't care about how my death affects others.
 
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K

Kumachan

Specialist
Mar 5, 2020
396
if suffering is too great theres simply no power to care about someone elses feelings i guess. Im just tired of this "movie" and once im out thats it - the movie is over and what happens with its characters after that is not my concern.
 
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Deleted member 17949

Deleted member 17949

Visionary
May 9, 2020
2,238
if suffering is too great theres simply no power to care about someone elses feelings i guess. Im just tired of this "movie" and once im out thats it - the movie is over and what happens with its characters after that is not my concern.
well said. My relevance in life only extends as far as my life does. No point worrying about what happens after.
 
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nigelhernandez

nigelhernandez

Experienced
Apr 14, 2020
270
I'm curious, why do some people get so bothered by it? I actually think the more likely you talk about suicide, the less you'll do it.
 
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Deleted member 17949

Deleted member 17949

Visionary
May 9, 2020
2,238
I'm curious, why do some people get so bothered by it? I actually think the more likely you talk about suicide, the less you'll do it.
As in why am I bothered by my parents being upset? It's just an emotional connection. In just about every other situation I'm going to feel bad if I make someone upset. However with suicide, I won't feel bad because I won't be there afterwards. Even though that's the case, upsetting people isn't a nice thought, but I've gotten over it.

I agree that talking about suicide with someone reduces the chance of you doing it, because you'll stop building so much internal stress and may actually get help.
 
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miguel6565

miguel6565

Arcanist
Apr 5, 2020
421
I think thats a sin that you are ready,i used to think i could CTB due to the damage to my family but now i dont care
 
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ssaaahmo

ssaaahmo

Experienced
May 18, 2020
219
I have in-betweens of not caring about what my parents think and caring. I get where you're coming from.
 
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LM10

LM10

Member
May 28, 2020
24
i told my family aboud me not able to survive any thing any more but the dont care so fuck them
 
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