At least three months and counting since I came across this site. No one's to blame, i'm merely just venting. I have a preferred way in mind, the downside is i can't order anything or purchase anything (whether in person or in the mail) as I don't live alone and the people I reside with are the overly-curious types. Always want to know my business, who i got mail from, what i bought, you get the idea. I'm sure we've all met someone like that or known someone like that, unless that's you yourself, haha.
Sigh.
Before this site, I've actually been lurking and browsing other's since removed or no longer online. It's been four long years, and I'm still here folks. Clearly, that should tell you I'm not game enough to just, you know, go alone. Even though i'm sure it seems so easy when there are ways in everyday life that are so simple.
Anyway, i keep hoping eventually something or someone will come along. I don't mean to be picky, it's just, like anyone who knows, I don't want to fail and I'm not one who even wants to get as far as "third time's the charm."
For me, I don't want to attempt, I just want to succeed on my very first go, call it my lucky go even.
So, I keep waiting. The rest of the time, along with my phobias and anxiety (long story), i just keep going through the motions. Just enough to take each day at a time.
But no, I'm not looking for therapy, not a cry for help. Literally, I'm merely just waiting. Wishful thinking? sure. likely outcome? probably just more of the same and doing nothing ultimately, at this rate. Why? The fear of failure. It's not an original answer, but that's sure a heck more powerful to me than any survival instinct.
Sigh. I sigh a lot these days, as I have for years now. Rest assured, take ease in knowing, I am not the crying-for-help type, and no offence intended to those who are.
Sigh.
Before this site, I've actually been lurking and browsing other's since removed or no longer online. It's been four long years, and I'm still here folks. Clearly, that should tell you I'm not game enough to just, you know, go alone. Even though i'm sure it seems so easy when there are ways in everyday life that are so simple.
Anyway, i keep hoping eventually something or someone will come along. I don't mean to be picky, it's just, like anyone who knows, I don't want to fail and I'm not one who even wants to get as far as "third time's the charm."
For me, I don't want to attempt, I just want to succeed on my very first go, call it my lucky go even.
So, I keep waiting. The rest of the time, along with my phobias and anxiety (long story), i just keep going through the motions. Just enough to take each day at a time.
But no, I'm not looking for therapy, not a cry for help. Literally, I'm merely just waiting. Wishful thinking? sure. likely outcome? probably just more of the same and doing nothing ultimately, at this rate. Why? The fear of failure. It's not an original answer, but that's sure a heck more powerful to me than any survival instinct.
Sigh. I sigh a lot these days, as I have for years now. Rest assured, take ease in knowing, I am not the crying-for-help type, and no offence intended to those who are.
