Still alive

[Sonnenblume]

I'm here still. But I don't want to talk about it. Sorry if I scared anyone, hope you'll forgive me. It'll take me a while to respond to people, I'm traumatized and can barely see/type. My eyes are taking a while to clear up. Note: This is not due sodium nitrite, so don't worry if that's your method.

 

[BellaKAT]

I'm here still. But I don't want to talk about it. Sorry if I scared anyone, hope you'll forgive me. It'll take me a while to respond to people, I'm traumatized and can barely see/type. My eyes are taking a while to clear up. Note: This is not due sodium nitrite, so don't worry if that's your method.

I never talked to you on the forums, but you have nothing to apologize for. I'm sorry you're so traumatized, I don't know what you have been through but I and many people here are very understanding and here for you.

 

[El Topo]

I'm here still. But I don't want to talk about it. Sorry if I scared anyone, hope you'll forgive me. It'll take me a while to respond to people, I'm traumatized and can barely see/type. My eyes are taking a while to clear up. Note: This is not due sodium nitrite, so don't worry if that's your method.

Whoa... I was not expecting this.

Hope you recover from whatever you went through.

 

[Lisa]

I'm here still. But I don't want to talk about it. Sorry if I scared anyone, hope you'll forgive me. It'll take me a while to respond to people, I'm traumatized and can barely see/type. My eyes are taking a while to clear up. Note: This is not due sodium nitrite, so don't worry if that's your method.

Welcome Back Sonnenblume

 

[DF90]

No need to apologize.Welcome back! Hoping for a speedy recovery.

 

[FakeNews]

 

[never getting better]

Welcome back, hope you feel better soon.

 

[Samuel]

Hi, welcome back.

 

[Phantom]

I'm just happy to see you here.

I find your way of talking to people highly enjoyable to read. I've not spoken to you much myself, if at all, but I was genuinely sad to think that I wouldn't see you here anymore.

 

[I want to end it]

Welcome back. I thought you had genuinely ctb'ed.

What was your method, if you don't mind saying?

 

[Sonnenblume]

Welcome back. I thought you had genuinely ctb'ed.

What was your method, if you don't mind saying?

Thanks. Sodium Nitrite

 

[I want to end it]

Thanks. Sodium Nitrite

Sorry I don't know why I asked that when you said it in your first post.

You could try n?

 

[Sonnenblume]

Sorry I don't know why I asked that when you said it in your first post.

You could try n?

I didn't fail with sodium nitrite, had a bad accident before I could even take it. I'm taking it as soon as I recover. Afraid I'd puke it up right now, even with anti-emetics. I wish I could get N, can't use Bitcoin though.

 

[deflagrat]

I didn't fail with sodium nitrite, had a bad accident before I could even take it. I'm taking it as soon as I recover. Afraid I'd puke it up right now, even with anti-emetics. I wish I could get N, can't use Bitcoin though.

I heard A accepts Money Gram and Western Union.

 

[Sonnenblume]

I heard A accepts Money Gram and Western Union.

Can't do those, you have to go there in person, I can't leave the house anymore.

 

[Life sucks]

Hey. Welcome back. Are you ok? I wish you no suffering and pain in whichever option you choose. This life really sucks and leaving it isn't easy.

 

[Hanger]

Welcome back. Hope you didn´t suffer too much. That´s why I´d like to go by hanging, it´s very safe and easy. Hope you´ll recover soon.

 

[Sonnenblume]

Hey. Welcome back. Are you ok? I wish you no suffering and pain in whichever option you choose. This life really sucks and leaving it isn't easy.

I fell before I could ctb, to make a long story short. I'm weak, nauseous, my eyes are blurry (though seem to be getting better), muscles are kinda fucked, nerve pain's bad, but I'm ok. Just taking it easy till I recover and can try again. I knew this was going to happen sooner or later if I didn't ctb. I shouldn't have waited so long. Anyways, Thank you for your kind words :)

 

[Hanger]

That´s also my problem, i shouldn´t wait too long, before I can´t do it anymore

 

[Sonnenblume]

That´s also my problem, i shouldn´t wait too long, before I can´t do it anymore

Yeah, with bad health issues you can never do it too early imo. It's a special kind of hell to be trapped by your own body. If the nausea weren't so bad (even with anti-emetics it's bothersome) I wouldn't be waiting now.

 

[Hanger]

My body seems to be made from the devil himself, the pain and the problems are often like hell and it only get´s worse. So you are just waiting until nausea is away and then try it again with the same method?

 

[Sonnenblume]

My body seems to be made from the devil himself, the pain and the problems are often like hell and it only get´s worse. So you are just waiting until nausea is away and then try it again with the same method?

I'm sorry you have so much pain. I know how it is though. Just watching yourself deteriorating, day by day, not knowing if you'll be able to function one moment to the next. It's a horror story. There's no point in living this way, at least not for me. Yeah, just waiting for the nausea to get better, I'll see a doctor if I must, though I'm hoping it won't come to that. I hate doctors at this point.

 

[Hanger]

You don´t have to be sorry. It´s my fault, that I´m still alive... I´m also sorry for you that you can´t live with your body. I also hate doctors, cause they don´t really want to help, they just want to earn money...

 

[ImNotBatman]

I'm torn between being glad you are back, and sad youre still suffering.
I'll use the line I do when friends get pregnant :"Congratulations, I'm so sorry. "

Get well sooner than later, and then go on your own terms. Thats all I can hope for you.