Venting Staying because of parent

[tuey32]

I don't want to be here anymore. Depsite countless years of therapy and medication everything seems so hopeless. I'm only sticking around for my mom right now because it would destroy her if I ctb. But I'm not looking forward to her getting older because that provides more challenges in itself. Not sure what to do

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Being stuck because of parents. I can relate to this. It's really difficult although it's not their fault and they couldn't do anything about your decision. But yeah it's tough. I hope you can find peace!

 

[dory]

You just have to remember that you cant control how other people feel or react to things, death is sad and it will affect people but you shouldn't feel guilty over emotions you can't control. Wishing you peace, and if you follow through i wish you safety too :)

 

[bunsïy]

I can relate to this, my mother plus our animals are the only reason I haven't attempted ctb again as the last time completely destroyed her. Even now it's been around 5 years and she still worries if I don't answer the phone right away. It's super exhausting having to pretend things are fine and like I want to be here. I'm not to sure what to do either so I definitely understand how you feel.

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

I thought about this since my dad already lost a daughter/my sister to suicide and my mom to heart attack.
But i just cant hold on and im sorry i cant suffer anymore.

 

[FuneralCry]

That does sound like a difficult situation to be trapped in and it must be tiring what you are going through. But anyway I wish you the best in whatever happens going forward.

 

[AnxietyHangover]

Just my 2¢ since I'm in a similar situation. Sort your stuff out, wait for whatever things need to happen that require you to be alive (I'd call them obligations), then once everything is done and you don't need to wait for anything else, then make the big decision. Because, in the end, it's not worth enduring decades of torture for anyone, not even your loved ones. Them seeing you miserable all the time vs them not having you anymore is basically the same thing. At least they won't see you struggling anymore. I can recall the numerous times my mom cried seeing how miserable I feel. In the end it's the same thing, in my opinion, only that you are spared the misery.