deepsweetdiver
Member
- Dec 10, 2024
- 41
Finally decided now! I will be catching the bus in the boring month of August. I have nothing to look forward to there, if anything, things will get worse from there.
April- family birthdays to catch up to. Last Easter service too.
May- End of first college year, final musical in my life, niece's pre-k graduation.
June- Trip with family to Spain. A couple more family birthdays.
July- Lots of art festivals and concerts in my town.
August...well not a lot. It would be the start of a new year of college but I wont be living for it anymore. Even if some little thing came up, why would it matter? My life is already terrible, so why not just struggle through for some good stuff, and then leave when its done? My main goal for staying was the fear of hell and hope for a good job in the art field. I'm losing my art skills and animators seem to get paid about 2 cents an hour. All I've been listening to are respawn subliminals, even if they are pseudo science or whatever, I just want to leave. I want to die. I want to die, should I be reborn and live my desired, peaceful life, then I will be glad, but if I die and make it to heaven, that is just as good.
So, from posting this, I've got 107 days until I prepare to leave. I don't know my specific date, but all I know is that I'll find my peace. I'll be gone, or I'll be someone new, happy, healthy, with no memories of this life.
I've held out hope for so long, but it has faded away now. I will do my best to enjoy what I have.
When the time comes, I'll pass away in peace. I have tried my best in this life.
April- family birthdays to catch up to. Last Easter service too.
May- End of first college year, final musical in my life, niece's pre-k graduation.
June- Trip with family to Spain. A couple more family birthdays.
July- Lots of art festivals and concerts in my town.
August...well not a lot. It would be the start of a new year of college but I wont be living for it anymore. Even if some little thing came up, why would it matter? My life is already terrible, so why not just struggle through for some good stuff, and then leave when its done? My main goal for staying was the fear of hell and hope for a good job in the art field. I'm losing my art skills and animators seem to get paid about 2 cents an hour. All I've been listening to are respawn subliminals, even if they are pseudo science or whatever, I just want to leave. I want to die. I want to die, should I be reborn and live my desired, peaceful life, then I will be glad, but if I die and make it to heaven, that is just as good.
So, from posting this, I've got 107 days until I prepare to leave. I don't know my specific date, but all I know is that I'll find my peace. I'll be gone, or I'll be someone new, happy, healthy, with no memories of this life.
I've held out hope for so long, but it has faded away now. I will do my best to enjoy what I have.
When the time comes, I'll pass away in peace. I have tried my best in this life.
