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Whenhopelostmemory

Member
Jun 25, 2020
24
Ik this is kind of a weird and rude question but can anyone who has lost their loved one to suicide try n answer... does the pain of losing ur loved one ever go away or atleast subside? Do u always blame urself for not being able to stop it or think that u could have helped or do u find peace in that they are finally where they wanna be
 
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GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Jan 11, 2020
6,726
The pain eventually subsided over the course of many years, and I eventually stopped wondering if I could have done something. If he had left a note, it would have helped. He was a teenager (I was too), and no one expected it. I think that believing they could have done something gives people a sense of control. I know now, decades later, that there's nothing I could have done, and that things must have been pretty bad in his life for him to have suicided. There was evidence he'd prepared for it months before we met.
 
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F

Funkymonks

Member
Jul 23, 2020
58
I lost my brother 15 years ago.
I don't blame myself because it was his choice to make and I know that I was the best sister that I could have been to him.
I believe if he hadn't of taken his life the day he did, he would have done so another day.

I'm glad he is no longer in pain. Although I would give anything in the world for him not to have had that pain in the start.
I miss him lots, I miss the hugs.
Could I have have stopped it? No. He hid it well.
 
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Tabbyql

Tabbyql

Chronic people pleaser
Mar 13, 2019
282
I only lost my sister 2 weeks ago, so i guess i shouldn't have bothered answering this. But just wanted say I really hope the pain does subside eventually.
 
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A

anthos pal

Member
Nov 18, 2021
29
Ik this is kind of a weird and rude question but can anyone who has lost their loved one to suicide try n answer... does the pain of losing ur loved one ever go away or atleast subside? Do u always blame urself for not being able to stop it or think that u could have helped or do u find peace in that they are finally where they wanna be
Its almost six months since I lost my love, and I am stuck, missing beloved always... feeling the pain, just need a hug....
 
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D

DPJ187

Student
Apr 14, 2022
128
Pain doesn't disappear we just get better at dealing with it, that's all I can say. Time helps but doesn't fix
 
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StarryStarry

StarryStarry

Cat Lady
Oct 25, 2021
749
Everyone is different. My little girl died by suicide (I say she was murdered because she was being molested and that's why she took her life). Not a day goes by that I don't feel overwhelming guilt (I didn't know she was being abused, but should have known). I live with the guilt that if I hadn't married this monster she would still be here. The pain has never gone away; never minimized; the pain is as deep as if it happened yesterday. I feel guilty for living ... I hope this answers your question.
 
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G

Glowarm

F*ck everyone and everything
Apr 8, 2022
673
Ik this is kind of a weird and rude question but can anyone who has lost their loved one to suicide try n answer... does the pain of losing ur loved one ever go away or atleast subside? Do u always blame urself for not being able to stop it or think that u could have helped or do u find peace in that they are finally where they wanna be

I thought about how to reply to your questions for quite a while. My original answer was both yes and no.
Does it ever completely go away? For me; no, never. Anytime I think of them there is some pain. There's also a shitload of good memories and happy times too, but the pain is there as well.
Does it subside? For me; Yes it does. It's still there though, It just doesn't sting quite as much. I've accepted it and I think that helps it not to be so bad.
Do I blame myself? Absolutely, 100%. I'm pretty sure he'd call me an asshole for blaming myself and maybe punch me in the arm, but I still do. I also know 100% that it was his decision and he wouldn't want anyone taking blame. But the 'what if I did....' will always be there. But again, time lessons the sting.

I'm really sorry for your loss. I hope the pain fades away as much as possible.
 
thedaywillcome

thedaywillcome

I will leave soon
Apr 2, 2022
358
Everyone is different. My little girl died by suicide (I say she was murdered because she was being molested and that's why she took her life). Not a day goes by that I don't feel overwhelming guilt (I didn't know she was being abused, but should have known). I live with the guilt that if I hadn't married this monster she would still be here. The pain has never gone away; never minimized; the pain is as deep as if it happened yesterday. I feel guilty for living ... I hope this answers your question.
So Traumas are cause suicide . I do have traumas.
 
K

Klo

Physical pain and depression
Mar 27, 2022
169
Ik this is kind of a weird and rude question but can anyone who has lost their loved one to suicide try n answer... does the pain of losing ur loved one ever go away or atleast subside? Do u always blame urself for not being able to stop it or think that u could have helped or do u find peace in that they are finally where they wanna be
I don't even care anymore that my brother killed himself. I don't know if you can say I've moved on. I'm suicidal though so very few things matter to me anymore.
 

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