TheLastGreySky
Wizard
- Nov 24, 2023
- 653
So for the past couple of weeks I've been doing good. Just got a new job and I'm trying to handle everything that correlates with getting my kids back. But I'm spiraling.
I feel like I'm out of touch creatively.
My music sucks and my art sucks.
I'm wondering if my kids love me or not because their caseworker has been pushing this narrative that they're afraid of me (which if you kept up with anything I've said over the past 2 years you'll know isn't true) and she's so adamant about it but won't let me see the therapist or talk to their therapist that I deeply think they're just trying to make money off my kids. My free lawyer is a piece of garbage right now. And my hearing is early November.
My wife wants a baby really bad and we've been leaving that option open for the past year. But I haven't got her pregnant and I haven't got anyone pregnant since 2019.
I'm not trying to give too much information but I've had a lot of opportunities because I don't use protection and everyone I've been with have not been on birth control. So I'm kind of feeling like it's probably me. So I'm here because I considered partial suspension tonight. I just don't even want to try anymore.
I feel like I'm fucking useless.
Since starting my job I've missed two days of work and I feel like I can't do anything but fuck up.
I'm open to advice or just to talk,
I don't know what I want just by posting this but I wanted to take my mind off the intrusive thoughts for a moment.
I feel like I'm out of touch creatively.
My music sucks and my art sucks.
I'm wondering if my kids love me or not because their caseworker has been pushing this narrative that they're afraid of me (which if you kept up with anything I've said over the past 2 years you'll know isn't true) and she's so adamant about it but won't let me see the therapist or talk to their therapist that I deeply think they're just trying to make money off my kids. My free lawyer is a piece of garbage right now. And my hearing is early November.
My wife wants a baby really bad and we've been leaving that option open for the past year. But I haven't got her pregnant and I haven't got anyone pregnant since 2019.
I'm not trying to give too much information but I've had a lot of opportunities because I don't use protection and everyone I've been with have not been on birth control. So I'm kind of feeling like it's probably me. So I'm here because I considered partial suspension tonight. I just don't even want to try anymore.
I feel like I'm fucking useless.
Since starting my job I've missed two days of work and I feel like I can't do anything but fuck up.
I'm open to advice or just to talk,
I don't know what I want just by posting this but I wanted to take my mind off the intrusive thoughts for a moment.
