Venting Spinster

[TooLate2582]

Tried it, didn't work. Trad on the surface.

i get it. Lots of those types. All dudes want to do is boogaloo and be trad. No one is willing to do the work or commit.

 

[Otter]

51 with a hysterectomy. I have my cats.

59-- 1 dog. 2 1/2 cats.

 

[Jean4]

59-- 1 dog. 2 1/2 cats.

1/2 a cat?

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

1/2 a cat?

One of the cats is obese I am guessing :)

 

[lanitoasmr]

I give up to take therapy. I'm tired of falling every time I "recover", I just want to stop feeling and dealing with that.

 

[Otter]

1/2 a cat?

Yes, I feed a stray. It is not mine. As in, if I moved, I could not take him with me. So I call him my half-cat.

 

[GiveUp]

Thank you, everyone. It's really nice to have a safe space to vent about it all and not be told the usual toxic positivity: "just think positive and it will happen!" Positive thoughts are thin air. Never having a happily ever after would follow a logical pattern of my life. I've done all the "be happy being single" shit and did met someone whom i wasn't sure of and after a few months I thought was the one, he was traditional and suddenly it turned out it was all lies. I dont see the point of being a good person and being tolerant and patient and kind when you just get shit back (do I sound like a femcel / bitter woman?! see- I used to be cheerful and attractive and love life). I wake up every day wondering, is this it? Can I leave now? What life is that.

 

[TAW122]

I'm a 29 year single male and never been in a relationship myself. I don't plan on having a family myself and enjoy a solitary lifestyle for the most part (I'm also an anti-natalist but that's another topic though). Not trying to invalidate your feelings or reasons, but keep in mind that being in a relationship and/or having a family is a big responsibility and will likely be very taxing (raising children, keeping the peace, getting along with your SO (husband/bf/other), and more).

 

[GiveUp]

I *KNOW* that having a family is a lot of work and effort. I'm not daydreaming it's like a Disney film. I *KNOW* and I'm more than willing and ready to put in the work and effort!!!! I *KNOW*!!!!!!!

 

[a.n.kirillov]

This probably isn't what you want to hear but don't you think you being on a suicide forum is a good reason not to procreate? You seem to have been burdened with a fair share of misery so why hand it on to another, innocent person?

You can always adopt a child though and I hope you will find a partner to do that with.


Btw what kind of weird social circle do you have that you are looked down upon for wanting kids? That sounds very out of the ordinary

 

[GiveUp]

This probably isn't what you want to hear but don't you think you being on a suicide forum is a good reason not to procreate? You seem to have been burdened with a fair share of misery so why hand it on to another, innocent person?

Well, I've not said I'm going to actively go out,make a family and then ctb. No, never said that. Its that I cant do that that makes me want to go. I'm so fed up being the only single one for years,being told to think positively. I'm allowed to ctb.

 

[a.n.kirillov]

This probably isn't what you want to hear but don't you think you being on a suicide forum is a good reason not to procreate? You seem to have been burdened with a fair share of misery so why hand it on to another, innocent person?

Well, I've not said I'm going to actively go out,make a family and then ctb. No, never said that. Its that I cant do that that makes me want to go. I'm so fed up being the only single one for years,being told to think positively. I'm allowed to ctb.

What I meant was that since life is so miserable for you, why do you want to create a new person that then may has be so miserable to consider killing themselves?

Yes being told to 'think positively' is very demeaning I understand that and of course you are allowed to ctb.

Have you been single your whole life?

 

[Supersadmommy90]

OT but I was mauled by a large Tom cat that seemed friendly enough, it was a stray my husband brought home from an remote dusty first road. I had fed it and pet it, it purred and rubbed up against me for months until one day without warning it shredded my leg purple and bloody, which traumatized me, so I'm racist against all cats now. it was not rabid, it's behaviour was inexplicable, it just suddenly viciously turned one day out of nowhere. No offense to cat people out there but just, watch out. You never know when fluffy could scratch out your eyeball. Im sure most cats are loving but it's. mixed bag of trail mix out there in the cat world so don't drag home just any stray.

 

[Despairing]

I'm a single and childless 35 year old woman who wanted to have a family. I've given up hoping and have been struggling to deal with a breakup a year ago. I'm not optimistic about the future but I can see a way out. I get so much shit for having wanted a family because its against feminism and bla bla bla. I'm afraid the time is over for me to have that now.
Anyone else given up?

My Mum had me at 38 and my Granny used to call her a spinster.

 

[asmah]

I'm a single and childless 35 year old woman who wanted to have a family. I've given up hoping and have been struggling to deal with a breakup a year ago. I'm not optimistic about the future but I can see a way out. I get so much shit for having wanted a family because its against feminism and bla bla bla. I'm afraid the time is over for me to have that now.
Anyone else given up?

I feel you. I am 28 and all I ever wanted is my own family. My safe space... but this will never happen. Even the only person who ever promised me that, left me...
I dont want to exist this way. Alone and miserable. I will continue to live to 30 and then end it if it does not get better. I am done with this life without friends and love

 

[Judy Garland]

I'm a spinster too :-( I'm almost 38. I wanted a husband to take care of, and a family too. It's time for me to die. And I don't want to see June. I hope I don't throw up my SN (both drinks). I really hope I can hold it down.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

I'm a single and childless 35 year old woman who wanted to have a family. I've given up hoping and have been struggling to deal with a breakup a year ago. I'm not optimistic about the future but I can see a way out. I get so much shit for having wanted a family because its against feminism and bla bla bla. I'm afraid the time is over for me to have that now.
Anyone else given up?

This is an old post but yea I became a spinster because abortion was available. Otherwise I would have had kids. I didn't want to abort but I had serious issues and was afraid to bring kids into a low quality life. I had complex ptsd or borderline personality disorder undiagnosed and didn't realize it until it was late in my life. I was ruining relationships and chaotic. I was afraid to have children and potentially be a substandard parent like how I was raised.

I'm so fed up of hearing that its not ok to want that. I was single for a long time, went travelling alone, had an active social life, worked hard, then after many years finally meet someone who was too good to be true so now I dont trust my instincts. Now I work a lot less, stay in bed, dont do anything, dont like going out. I see so many couples together where one partner is cheating or one needed to get married to someone for the money or whatever and it's just not fair that I'm alone. Yes logically I know those relationships are shit but they wont die alone. They come home and someone is there. I'm so fed up of being alone. I wake up every day and wonder if this is it and I dont want the future to come. I'm so fed up of hearing that it's wrong to want a partner. Then my brain is wrong! I have borderline personality disorder which doesnt help and taking anti depressants. Cant afford therapy anymore because I dont work full time anymore. Was looking for a new job but failed interviews. U know when you just dont understand why you cant have a happily ever after? I feel like I'm a spectator to everyone else's happiness. I'm so fed up and want out. I dont get the point of it all. It's all been for nothing.

Boy do I relate with this we have had the same experience it seems. It really hurts a lot. I feel like I missed out on life in many ways. A fullfilling life.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm a guy and I've given up. I wanted a family, too, but I didn't get one. I gave up on that idea like 20 years ago. I suppose there are people out there who could have a satisfying life and not have achieved that. If that is all that was depressing me, I could possibly live with that, too. But, there's a lot more. So......I guess things are what they are. For whatever BS reason that I don't understand.

 

[lofticries]

I'm childfree by choice much to the dismay of my fam. Even if I wasn't depressed af I'd still choose not to have a kid since it is not something I feel I need in life to be happy. Plus things are expensive af now. Ppl can hardly support themselves in today's world.

 

[CannotAnymore]

I'm a single and childless 35 year old woman who wanted to have a family. I've given up hoping and have been struggling to deal with a breakup a year ago. I'm not optimistic about the future but I can see a way out. I get so much shit for having wanted a family because its against feminism and bla bla bla. I'm afraid the time is over for me to have that now.
Anyone else given up?

As a 37 year old who did the marriage and kid young thing. Regret it so much. 35 is young. Go live your life, travel and find happiness. If you are thinking about ctb then a kid and partner are not going to make you happy