I already thought about how to describe it without sounding paranoid. I made a voice note to my friends in order to save it. This will be a longer story.
You know I had another dating failure. A woman ghosted me after the first date. She had autism and ADHD it broke my heart. I was in the mood to do something really stupid. Not going to a sex worker but actually maybe I should have considered that instead.
This evening was our autism self-help group. I met the woman that ghosted me somewhere else she doesn't know about the group. But I dated (I call her) the autistic liberal woman. It might be a generalization but it is a memory anchor for my readers. She was really eager to find people to date in our group. She created a chat group and invited a lot of people. She is into all genders I assume. We had two dates last year. The first date was really amazing. We had a great time together. At the second date (you can read the full story only exclusively on Sanctioned Suicide of course in past threads of mine). The second date was really insane. It started good but another friend of her was invited. And I am pretty sure he is either a socio- or psychopath. He was very aggressive, assaulted me verbally and I was a little bit scared of him. I didn't defend myself. But the evening made me more careful when meeting new people. It also helped me in my college self-help group when they tried to bully me there which happened shortly afterwards. I texted the autistic liberal woman that the evening was really uncomfortable for me after the second date. She didn't respond to that message. I am not sure why. Maybe she is avoidant or she is simply manipulative. It gets really good. I got revenge for this evening where her friend bullied me. Last year at this evening she didn't intervene and in some way she bullied me too this evening.
As I explained earlier I was in the mood to do something stupid. I texted her again recently. She became a little bit flirty. She wanted to play with me again. At the first date I was pretty naive and expected her to be a genuine good person. At the second date this notion of her changed.
At the second date many friends of her were invited and I called it her harem. It seemed like she once dated all of her friends, probably had sex with them and they all were doing hardcore drugs all the time. The drug thing and the sociopath were the biggest red flags for me. Why is she friend with such a bully?
I was warned but I still texted her. I think she doesn't care about feelings at all. I was really nervous in my voice as so often in our group today. You often notice that I am a mental wreck. We exchanged some text messages and I wanted to give her a shot again. Something really really funny happened. I was not in a good shape this evening. With psychosis and autism you are in some way an easy target for manipulative people no matter the gender. I think she wouldn't have come to the group if I didn't text her recently. She told me she wasn't in mood for the group but I tried to persuade her to come. But I was genuine. Genuinely desperate. Lol. My friends told me to avoid her and well they were right.
She preyed on me. I talked very shortly when I talked and obviously I was very nervous. There is another really smart dude at the group. She also wanted to date him. But he refused in contrast to me. Though, he was in the group chat where we agreed on meeting each other. I think he was aware she is playing with me and manipulating me. And then they went off against each other. They talked about the relationship between employer and employee on the surface. Many times the conversation became incoherent and the things they said were very strange because for the working context their talk it was really unusual. The others didn't notice it. Both of them are intellectually highly gifted. I think the smart dude tried to protect me from her and sort of calld her bebavior out in a roundabout way. It wasn't open but he hinted a lot to it. He said something like some people do ethically the worst things ever and don't care whether other people commit suicide because of such a behavior. You could see it in her face he hit her so fucking hard with this statement. She was pissed as fuck. I elaborated about my suicidality in the group in the past. And to make it worse. He said people like that at the same time they present themselves in front of others as the perfect feminists pro-inclusion person which is obviously only a facade. And this fits her behavior so fucking good. I cannot imagine how salty she must have been. The conversation also was weird because there was a weird usage of anecdotes. And sometimes they even used dating terms instead of this weird employer/employee metaphor. (Instead of talking about all employees, they talked about how all men behave for example which didn't make a lot of sense.)
Her face became more and more grim. She tried to bait me into the conversation. The conversation was mostly between the two which also was weird. She talked about talking points I texted her privately in our private chat. I was too nervous to join the conversation and I have to admit it was pretty entertaining to watch it as an observor. Lol. The dude said something like such perfect inclusionists often turn out as the worst bullies. I had to grin so hard and nodded emphaticly to show that I agree with him. Actually he doesn't know how they bullied me. But he hit the nail in assessing her character. He said something like some companies only want to exploit you for your body sometimes. And when it is only about the physical component he would reject any offer. Then she talked in a pejorative way about people who cannot find a job and fear poverty. And people who are desperate that would take any offer. Which perfectly fits to my situation. Ironically it also partly fits her working situation. She said in the past she didn't even know why a certain person actually texted her and wanted the contact. Beforehand the person would have been passive-aggressive and overreacted. I never overreacted she and her friends simply were extremely offensive towards me. The most funny statement of the evening. In German she said something like "In der letzten Zeitperiode hatte ich sehr viel E-Mail-VERKEHR". In German, the word for 'correspondence' or 'traffic' is 'Verkehr'. However, the word for 'sexual intercourse' is 'Geschlechtsverkehr'. By emphasizing the word 'Verkehr' in 'Email-Verkehr', the speaker is making a pun, essentially saying they've had a lot of 'email intercourse'. I have to admit I used AI to explain this. I wasn't sure how to explain it in a proper way. I think she bragged in front of me to have had many sex recently. And honestly I also was interested to have sex with her. But she showed her true face when she talked in a pejorative way about people like me. And she is preying on vulnerable people.
She made weird accusations about the person that contacted her. He doesn't know anything about that. So he cannot evaluate them. But I have to say if she tried to talk about me it was absolutely false. I think she noticed that she was losing the conversation in an embarrassing way and he completely played her. And she wasn't able to do anything against that. And then weird abstruse accusations were her last weapon. He then emphasized a couple of times he would never accepct such offers and stay away from people like that. No matter what. In her last desperate attempt she tried a loyality test. She asked in the group in front of everyone. I think the others had no clue what the conversation actually was about even though the whole thing became from time to time very incoherent. She asked who would be interested to meet her this weekened to play board games with her. This was actually the pretext of our second date. The others were really irritated because the question came out of nothing. She made a complete fool out of herself. And I just kept silent and didn't say a word to that offer. She was shocked and said something like there must have been a reason for contacting her. Honestly, after this psychotic (not pathological) exchange I will keep distance to her. She is so fucking manipulative. And she got played. I think at the end he wasn't sure whether I am actually fully innocent and defenseless. I was grinning pretty hard when he made a fool out of her. He might thought something like I must be in some way self-aware of what she tries to do. Because I didn't let her bait me into the conversation. At the end of the evening I texted with someone on my phone and everyone could see that. Showing my disinterest for the group and then I left earlier. I think she wasn't happy about that either.
I am not sure whether my friends will believe me. Or call all of this ultra paranoid. I think I do some good objective points why all of this actually happened and wasn't just a product of my psyche. Well I invested almost two hours into writing down this thread. She will be out for revenge probably. I won't text her. In case she texts me again I will keep it short. Not sure what to think about all of that. In self-help group you meet weird people. And women who use self-help group primarily for dating are now sus to me. I am not sure whether she thinks I actually tricked her. But actually all of this is a coincidence. At first I am naive and assume people were genuine when approaching me. But they turn out to be frauds. I think in my text I am too overconfindent about some interpretations but I want to go to sleep soon. And differentiating between the certainty of my claims would have been too tedious and this text already was so fucking much work.
You know I had another dating failure. A woman ghosted me after the first date. She had autism and ADHD it broke my heart. I was in the mood to do something really stupid. Not going to a sex worker but actually maybe I should have considered that instead.
This evening was our autism self-help group. I met the woman that ghosted me somewhere else she doesn't know about the group. But I dated (I call her) the autistic liberal woman. It might be a generalization but it is a memory anchor for my readers. She was really eager to find people to date in our group. She created a chat group and invited a lot of people. She is into all genders I assume. We had two dates last year. The first date was really amazing. We had a great time together. At the second date (you can read the full story only exclusively on Sanctioned Suicide of course in past threads of mine). The second date was really insane. It started good but another friend of her was invited. And I am pretty sure he is either a socio- or psychopath. He was very aggressive, assaulted me verbally and I was a little bit scared of him. I didn't defend myself. But the evening made me more careful when meeting new people. It also helped me in my college self-help group when they tried to bully me there which happened shortly afterwards. I texted the autistic liberal woman that the evening was really uncomfortable for me after the second date. She didn't respond to that message. I am not sure why. Maybe she is avoidant or she is simply manipulative. It gets really good. I got revenge for this evening where her friend bullied me. Last year at this evening she didn't intervene and in some way she bullied me too this evening.
As I explained earlier I was in the mood to do something stupid. I texted her again recently. She became a little bit flirty. She wanted to play with me again. At the first date I was pretty naive and expected her to be a genuine good person. At the second date this notion of her changed.
At the second date many friends of her were invited and I called it her harem. It seemed like she once dated all of her friends, probably had sex with them and they all were doing hardcore drugs all the time. The drug thing and the sociopath were the biggest red flags for me. Why is she friend with such a bully?
I was warned but I still texted her. I think she doesn't care about feelings at all. I was really nervous in my voice as so often in our group today. You often notice that I am a mental wreck. We exchanged some text messages and I wanted to give her a shot again. Something really really funny happened. I was not in a good shape this evening. With psychosis and autism you are in some way an easy target for manipulative people no matter the gender. I think she wouldn't have come to the group if I didn't text her recently. She told me she wasn't in mood for the group but I tried to persuade her to come. But I was genuine. Genuinely desperate. Lol. My friends told me to avoid her and well they were right.
She preyed on me. I talked very shortly when I talked and obviously I was very nervous. There is another really smart dude at the group. She also wanted to date him. But he refused in contrast to me. Though, he was in the group chat where we agreed on meeting each other. I think he was aware she is playing with me and manipulating me. And then they went off against each other. They talked about the relationship between employer and employee on the surface. Many times the conversation became incoherent and the things they said were very strange because for the working context their talk it was really unusual. The others didn't notice it. Both of them are intellectually highly gifted. I think the smart dude tried to protect me from her and sort of calld her bebavior out in a roundabout way. It wasn't open but he hinted a lot to it. He said something like some people do ethically the worst things ever and don't care whether other people commit suicide because of such a behavior. You could see it in her face he hit her so fucking hard with this statement. She was pissed as fuck. I elaborated about my suicidality in the group in the past. And to make it worse. He said people like that at the same time they present themselves in front of others as the perfect feminists pro-inclusion person which is obviously only a facade. And this fits her behavior so fucking good. I cannot imagine how salty she must have been. The conversation also was weird because there was a weird usage of anecdotes. And sometimes they even used dating terms instead of this weird employer/employee metaphor. (Instead of talking about all employees, they talked about how all men behave for example which didn't make a lot of sense.)
Her face became more and more grim. She tried to bait me into the conversation. The conversation was mostly between the two which also was weird. She talked about talking points I texted her privately in our private chat. I was too nervous to join the conversation and I have to admit it was pretty entertaining to watch it as an observor. Lol. The dude said something like such perfect inclusionists often turn out as the worst bullies. I had to grin so hard and nodded emphaticly to show that I agree with him. Actually he doesn't know how they bullied me. But he hit the nail in assessing her character. He said something like some companies only want to exploit you for your body sometimes. And when it is only about the physical component he would reject any offer. Then she talked in a pejorative way about people who cannot find a job and fear poverty. And people who are desperate that would take any offer. Which perfectly fits to my situation. Ironically it also partly fits her working situation. She said in the past she didn't even know why a certain person actually texted her and wanted the contact. Beforehand the person would have been passive-aggressive and overreacted. I never overreacted she and her friends simply were extremely offensive towards me. The most funny statement of the evening. In German she said something like "In der letzten Zeitperiode hatte ich sehr viel E-Mail-VERKEHR". In German, the word for 'correspondence' or 'traffic' is 'Verkehr'. However, the word for 'sexual intercourse' is 'Geschlechtsverkehr'. By emphasizing the word 'Verkehr' in 'Email-Verkehr', the speaker is making a pun, essentially saying they've had a lot of 'email intercourse'. I have to admit I used AI to explain this. I wasn't sure how to explain it in a proper way. I think she bragged in front of me to have had many sex recently. And honestly I also was interested to have sex with her. But she showed her true face when she talked in a pejorative way about people like me. And she is preying on vulnerable people.
She made weird accusations about the person that contacted her. He doesn't know anything about that. So he cannot evaluate them. But I have to say if she tried to talk about me it was absolutely false. I think she noticed that she was losing the conversation in an embarrassing way and he completely played her. And she wasn't able to do anything against that. And then weird abstruse accusations were her last weapon. He then emphasized a couple of times he would never accepct such offers and stay away from people like that. No matter what. In her last desperate attempt she tried a loyality test. She asked in the group in front of everyone. I think the others had no clue what the conversation actually was about even though the whole thing became from time to time very incoherent. She asked who would be interested to meet her this weekened to play board games with her. This was actually the pretext of our second date. The others were really irritated because the question came out of nothing. She made a complete fool out of herself. And I just kept silent and didn't say a word to that offer. She was shocked and said something like there must have been a reason for contacting her. Honestly, after this psychotic (not pathological) exchange I will keep distance to her. She is so fucking manipulative. And she got played. I think at the end he wasn't sure whether I am actually fully innocent and defenseless. I was grinning pretty hard when he made a fool out of her. He might thought something like I must be in some way self-aware of what she tries to do. Because I didn't let her bait me into the conversation. At the end of the evening I texted with someone on my phone and everyone could see that. Showing my disinterest for the group and then I left earlier. I think she wasn't happy about that either.
I am not sure whether my friends will believe me. Or call all of this ultra paranoid. I think I do some good objective points why all of this actually happened and wasn't just a product of my psyche. Well I invested almost two hours into writing down this thread. She will be out for revenge probably. I won't text her. In case she texts me again I will keep it short. Not sure what to think about all of that. In self-help group you meet weird people. And women who use self-help group primarily for dating are now sus to me. I am not sure whether she thinks I actually tricked her. But actually all of this is a coincidence. At first I am naive and assume people were genuine when approaching me. But they turn out to be frauds. I think in my text I am too overconfindent about some interpretations but I want to go to sleep soon. And differentiating between the certainty of my claims would have been too tedious and this text already was so fucking much work.
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