Venting Something I realized

[conveniently_dead]

When you keep holding on for another day, and the before you know it years have gone by. And things haven't been going better. In fact they are worse. Eventually you notice the trajectory of where things are going. Are you just gonna let life keep abusing you? Everytime you get past suicidal feelings by coping, all you are doing is distracting yourself and your gonna end up right back in the same place, over and over again. Desperate, lonely and uncertain. Why not just get it over with? Why keep doing this dance of highs and lows?

Take partial suspension hanging for example. I have a bar in my closet that will hold my weight. All I have to do is buy the rope and wait for my family to be gone for a few hours. Then I will push my dresser against the door to barricade it from the inside, take a few benzos and drink some alcohol. Then I need to man up and just do it. It's scary yes, but if I get it right I won't even know what happened. A few seconds of suffering to avoid a future of guaranteed pain and failure. If I chicken out, then what is the only other option? Continuing doing this?

 

[Thorn]

If you could only have a mindset of a politician. No damn thing in this world could hurt you, no matter what.

 

[been_there]

The politician's mindset is usually contempt for people. Self-serving ambition and psychopathy. People are numbers only. If you're not financially productive, you're worthless. Not many politicians contemplate ctb. And that's why we have the society we have.