Someone I know killed themselves

[victoria91]

He hung himself a few weeks ago and today was his funeral.
It is so sad as he left behind his wife and two young children , but all I could feel was jealous that he had the guts to go through with his suicide and I don't.

Does that make me a terrible person ? I feel awful about it

 

[strangeceleste]

I felt the same when a family friend took his own life last month. Everyone else was heartbroken and yes of course it's deeply sad for those left behind, but I felt so envious. I also felt awful, but I don't think that makes us terrible people, just ones who wish we weren't alive (I felt like a monster, especially because everyone was so visibly distraught)

 

[Worndown]

Feeling bad that their life issues drove them to an early exit is normal. We also understand and it is normal to have a little envy.

 

[Crusader]

Does that make me a terrible person ?

No. Of course it´s sad that he left behind his wife and two young children. But both of you have the desire to end your lives. He did what you disire too. So you have the right to be jealous. Being jealous is not something you plan. It is a feeling that arises by itself.

 

[Bulldogbitch]

He hung himself a few weeks ago and today was his funeral.
It is so sad as he left behind his wife and two young children , but all I could feel was jealous that he had the guts to go through with his suicide and I don't.

Does that make me a terrible person ? I feel awful about it

It doesn't make you a terrible person, your thoughts and emotions can't be controlled in that way.

I lost a friend in a similar way, to this day it hurts, more for the daughter he left behind.
Plus another friends anniversary today from suicide.

I can't say I've felt jealous, just sad that they weren't helped in time. Having a rough idea of how bad they must have felt to do it.

I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I'm jealous of him too if he had access to a good anchor point. So hard to find a good one, tbh.

 

[victoria91]

I felt the same when a family friend took his own life last month. Everyone else was heartbroken and yes of course it's deeply sad for those left behind, but I felt so envious. I also felt awful, but I don't think that makes us terrible people, just ones who wish we weren't alive (I felt like a monster, especially because everyone was so visibly distraught)

I felt the same when a family friend took his own life last month. Everyone else was heartbroken and yes of course it's deeply sad for those left behind, but I felt so envious. I also felt awful, but I don't think that makes us terrible people, just ones who wish we weren't alive (I felt like a monster, especially because everyone was so visibly distraught)

No one seems to understand but I understood why he killed himself. I kept explaining to my partner that be must have planned it out for a long time etc ....

I'm jealous of him too if he had access to a good anchor point. So hard to find a good one, tbh.

I don't know all the details but he hung himself with rope in his parents garage. He must have been planning it for a while

It doesn't make you a terrible person, your thoughts and emotions can't be controlled in that way.

I lost a friend in a similar way, to this day it hurts, more for the daughter he left behind.
Plus another friends anniversary today from suicide.

I can't say I've felt jealous, just sad that they weren't helped in time. Having a rough idea of how bad they must have felt to do it.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you
Yes so very very sad he was mentally unwell for a long time and down where I live mental health services are awful .

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

I was jealous of that olympic athlete that got struck by lightning and died recently. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to free yourself from suffering like they were able to.

 

[victoria91]

I was jealous of that olympic athlete that got struck by lightning and died recently. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to free yourself from suffering like they were able to.

I didn't hear about this ?!

Now that is a way to go!

 

[MYStERY_Man]

If that makes you terrible, then I'm terrible too.

Last year a relative who lives down the street called his mom, who was in another town doing an agriculture class, and said he was going to hang himself. She called us and we went to check on him. He didn't actually do it, but while we weren't sure, I'd lie if I said I wasn't jealous.

On the other hand, a few years ago, an acquaintance died in a car crash. We only really hung out once, but it was enough to see he was full of life and had a proper future ahead of him. I was sad for his family. It felt completely unfair, just a huge shame that this happens in the world. If I could give him his life back, I would.

So maybe we're not complete monsters. It's just easier to empathize with people who are in a similar situation as we are, and harder to share the feelings of those who would anything to stop us from getting the release we seek, even if they mean well.

 

[Trisolaris]

He hung himself a few weeks ago and today was his funeral.
It is so sad as he left behind his wife and two young children , but all I could feel was jealous that he had the guts to go through with his suicide and I don't.

Does that make me a terrible person ? I feel awful about it

No, that doesn't make you a terrible person. That's what life brought you to.

 

[929er]

i feel the exact same whenever i see someone that manages to ctb successfully. sometimes even people that go out due to freak accidents or random "natural cause" death. I'd say it's a normal response since they got something you've wanted to get but haven't been able to.

 

[Neowise]

[Olympic athlete got struck by lightning]
I didn't hear about this ?!
Now that is a way to go!

Oh yeah, she was a surfer and out on the beach training for olympia when the weather suddenly got worse and a lightning hit her. That must have been a peaceful death. She died doing what she loves most and didn't feel a thing.

 

[Roadkill]

I don't envy people who are successful at killing themselves, I admire them.. they had the guts and I don't.. I can't do anything right, it's really pathetic

 

[fred farkle]

He hung himself a few weeks ago and today was his funeral.
It is so sad as he left behind his wife and two young children , but all I could feel was jealous that he had the guts to go through with his suicide and I don't.

Does that make me a terrible person ? I feel awful about it

how many peole at that funeral were thinking the same thing?

 

[victoria91]

how many peole at that funeral were thinking the same thing?

Interesting perspective. My looking at mental health problems and suicide rates around here possibly a couple at least