Ghostlights
Member
- Mar 21, 2026
- 19
Life's been not really great so far... the reason I've stayed alive for 19 years is that I want to experience life without having to live in this household that is the main reason why I'm considering to ctb. There is this tiny bit of hope, that it will get better when I move out. I know, it would probably take a long time to really enjoy life, but I want it to happen so I've set myself some rules to hopefully stop myself from ctb before it happens. At the same time, I don't know if those rules would actually stop me if it got even worse...
Anyway, here they are:
- don't do it because of another person, do it solely because of yourself
- don't do it where other people could see it and could get traumatized (so the train is out of the method list, couldn't do that to the driver)
- try to not make a huge mess (I wouldn't like others having to pick up little pieces of me)
- research enough about the preferred method to make sure it works
- delete or throw away stuff you don't want others to find (in my case it would be my diaries)
- make sure to have thought about every word in a goodbye letter
- have written down what should happen to you possessions after your death
- leave a clean environment behind (clean your room/apartment/house, don't have to much useless stuff, others should not have to spend a lot of time going through your stuff)
- don't make it an impulsive decision (don't do at as a reaction to a sudden change or situation, when possible: be sober)
- most important: don't rush anything!
Anyway, here they are:
- don't do it because of another person, do it solely because of yourself
- don't do it where other people could see it and could get traumatized (so the train is out of the method list, couldn't do that to the driver)
- try to not make a huge mess (I wouldn't like others having to pick up little pieces of me)
- research enough about the preferred method to make sure it works
- delete or throw away stuff you don't want others to find (in my case it would be my diaries)
- make sure to have thought about every word in a goodbye letter
- have written down what should happen to you possessions after your death
- leave a clean environment behind (clean your room/apartment/house, don't have to much useless stuff, others should not have to spend a lot of time going through your stuff)
- don't make it an impulsive decision (don't do at as a reaction to a sudden change or situation, when possible: be sober)
- most important: don't rush anything!
