Venting so tired

[SadHam]

The Human I believed would spend the rest of my days left me 4 months ago. Have always had depression. Feel like a vampire on everyone. Job is meaningless. Cant find suitable or affordable housing. Always making bad financial decisions. Can never sleep properly. In a constant state of limbo. So so tired. So exhausted. Emotionally, mentally. Physically. Cant believe 6 months ago I used to feel love and could see a future of sorts after so much of my life was depression. Now it's all gone again. So many of us on here. So many hurting people. Just want to sleep. Just want peaceful sleep now. No more hurting. No more feeling. I'm sorry.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

There's nothing to be sorry about. You are suffering.
Life is tough, its an uphill battle that we all lose in the end. There is still good stuff to be found along the way but it gets really hard to see it when circumstances lay you low. You can let it beat you or you can stand and fight. Real courage is fighting even though you know you've lost. Real strength is being strong in the broken places when you are alone. Sometimes it gets too much. Same here, I feel that too. it is the choice of each individual where they draw the line in the sand.
Maybe a change in circumstances might help?

 

[Dead beat dad]

The Human I believed would spend the rest of my days left me 4 months ago. Have always had depression. Feel like a vampire on everyone. Job is meaningless. Cant find suitable or affordable housing. Always making bad financial decisions. Can never sleep properly. In a constant state of limbo. So so tired. So exhausted. Emotionally, mentally. Physically. Cant believe 6 months ago I used to feel love and could see a future of sorts after so much of my life was depression. Now it's all gone again. So many of us on here. So many hurting people. Just want to sleep. Just want peaceful sleep now. No more hurting. No more feeling. I'm sorry.

I feel your pain brother. Being in a state of eye bleeding, never ending tiredness, where it runs right deep through the core is a feeling like an old companion.
I'm sorry for the maelstrom of shit that is drowning you my friend. I wish there was some magic way I could take away your pain and give you the opportunies to make sense of the chaos and come in to the light.
To quote a popular movie:
"Life is pain! Anyone who says otherwise is selling something"
Good luck on your journey brother, however it twists and turns I want peace and happiness for you.
DBD

 

[SadHam]

There's nothing to be sorry about. You are suffering.
Life is tough, its an uphill battle that we all lose in the end. There is still good stuff to be found along the way but it gets really hard to see it when circumstances lay you low. You can let it beat you or you can stand and fight. Real courage is fighting even though you know you've lost. Real strength is being strong in the broken places when you are alone. Sometimes it gets too much. Same here, I feel that too. it is the choice of each individual where they draw the line in the sand.
Maybe a change in circumstances might help?

I appreciate the words. Seeking some kind of sanctuary where I live, change from the city life. Have been trying to find some kind of commune or place to rest where I am. So far only found places with extreme eco rules or full of families. Wish this forum was just an island we could all go to. For now it will be living in the car, digital community.

If you or anyone on here would like a painting let me know. It's all my head let's me do for any extended period of time. Will post on here or IRL for free. Will try and paint anything you like. I suck at painting people so perhaps not people.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

The island thing has been talked about before lol. A painting would be an excellent idea. I used to be an artist but I just don't have the patience now. Paint something and post it here, that would be great!

 

[SadHam]

I feel your pain brother. Being in a state of eye bleeding, never ending tiredness, where it runs right deep through the core is a feeling like an old companion.
I'm sorry for the maelstrom of shit that is drowning you my friend. I wish there was some magic way I could take away your pain and give you the opportunies to make sense of the chaos and come in to the light.
To quote a popular movie:
"Life is pain! Anyone who says otherwise is selling something"
Good luck on your journey brother, however it twists and turns I want peace and happiness for you.
DBD

Thanks dude. Life is pain, or at least exhaustion. Peace and happiness to you too dude, if you would like a painting of something I can do it. It's all I can do now. Just painting, and crawling through the void.

The island thing has been talked about before lol. A painting would be an excellent idea. I used to be an artist but I just don't have the patience now. Paint something and post it here, that would be great!

You have my brush in the fight for an island. I could feel purpose in building a city for good people. A place with peace and understanding.

The island thing has been talked about before lol. A painting would be an excellent idea. I used to be an artist but I just don't have the patience now. Paint something and post it here, that would be great!

You have my brush in the fight for an island. I could feel purpose in building a city for good people. A place with peace and understanding.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

What medium do you paint in? Mine was oils. I loved how it could be a subtle wash or thick impasto and how i could come back to it days later with fresh eyes.

 

[SadHam]

What medium do you paint in? Mine was oils. I loved how it could be a subtle wash or thick impasto and how i could come back to it days later with fresh eyes.

I love oils too, it's my main goto. But I use all the mediums, started when everything went to shit and just spent all my money on art supplies. Mouldings past is fun as well, like painting with clay.

 

[SuiSqueeze92]

Why don't you sell some of your paintings if finances are part of your problem? Maybe at least for now your purpose of happiness isn't to find it in another, but to give it to others.