Venting So scared of failing at recovery

[tiredandlost]

I feel like even if I wanted to recover, it would take so long that it might not even be worth it and that's assuming I will actually recover. In reality, there is nothing for me to recover from as this life is all I have known, I'm certain my chances of actually living a normal life are very low. My birthday is coming up soon and I have nothing to show for the years I've lived, tho some might say I'm young I feel so inexplicably old, I feel like I am way too old to feel this way. Plus I don't really have the resources to really strive for my recovery and I don't care about myself enough to actually go outside and look for a way to get resources. I see people who have gone through trauma much worse than mine telling their redemption stories and how they are now successful and thriving and that just seems so foreign to me, I must be defective product. I'm really not able at all to deal with the real world, I'm a shut in and it's only getting worse and no one in my personal life cares enough about me to do anything about it so why should I.

 

[AbusedInnocent]

I also don't think I could ever recover and be happy even if I somehow had the motivation to try to recover, I don't see how I could ever be happy working 8 hours a day or just living anywhere on this planet.

I must be defective product.

It's really not your fault that the world failed to meet your needs or that you were born with your brain wired a certain way that makes you unhappy.

Sorry for whatever you're going through and wish you the best.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

It's up 2 you. You can always try to start a recovery attempt if it fails you can always CTB later.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

Considering where this is posted, I feel restrained in how to reply. What I will say is that you have the power to define what recovery means for you.

Personally, recovery is avoiding impulsive ctb attempts. I'm convinced I will leave at a time of my choosing. Recovery for me is about making the time in between more bearable. In this way, recovery is suddenly more achievable.

We're all different and we all have the power to defining what success is for us.

I hope you're able to find some peace, in whatever way you see fit.