so much guilt

[morgueprincess]

hi, i've already read a bunch of threads talking about overcoming guilt and i myself have made a post about it. however, every night, when my life is in my hands, i find reasons to stay, only to regret not ctbing in the morning. i think of my brother, who is in a really good college, and how much my death would hurt him and cause burnout. my parents would also be devastated and i don't want them to suffer because of me, but i also cannot keep living like this. i've pushed back the date farther and farther every night. so please, please, someone humor me one more time and tell me i'm not selfish for choosing to leave this life behind.

also, i've contemplated deleting my goodbye note and finding a subtle way to make it seem like an accident via choking game gone wrong, since i'm going by partial, but i doubt it would be believable because my family knows i've been in a dark place for awhile now.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

I think you're strong for extending it day by day for the people you obviously love and care about very much.