hey,
I want to share a little bit of my thoughts. I always have been very anxious and full of self-hate I guess. I was in a very long relationsship with a person that really loved me even though I was extremly depressed the last months of our relationsship and I talked a lot about it..
Now that I made a lot of mistakes I lost her. I was full of self-hate before but after everything I did, I can't forgive myself.
I don't have any talents, I once might have been smart but that belongs to the past. I don't have many friends and I still haven't finished university. I can see why anyone in my situation would be depressed (I am at my parents and didnt do anything for the last two months except starring at my phone). I don't see a future for myself. I had a few nice days last year ... I was in a clinic and met a lot of nice people, I could ignore my problems for a few months.. but now reality is back :) I havent had a proper conversation in months and all I can think about is myself and the mistakes I made and the horrible life that is waiting for me due to my lack of social skills, my own lazziness, my mental health issues...
The only person that seems to really care about me might be my therapist and I actually don't even deserve it. Okay there is also one of my siblings that still cares for me but I think he is slowly giving up on me. And that might be the best for him! I am not mad about it, just sad I cant change myself for the better.
I should be more gratefull towards my parents... they still support me and let me live in their house but most of the time I am just angry with them (and I get angry with myself for that).
so, I don't know why I wrote this threat but maybe someone understands me and my bad English :)
I want to share a little bit of my thoughts. I always have been very anxious and full of self-hate I guess. I was in a very long relationsship with a person that really loved me even though I was extremly depressed the last months of our relationsship and I talked a lot about it..
Now that I made a lot of mistakes I lost her. I was full of self-hate before but after everything I did, I can't forgive myself.
I don't have any talents, I once might have been smart but that belongs to the past. I don't have many friends and I still haven't finished university. I can see why anyone in my situation would be depressed (I am at my parents and didnt do anything for the last two months except starring at my phone). I don't see a future for myself. I had a few nice days last year ... I was in a clinic and met a lot of nice people, I could ignore my problems for a few months.. but now reality is back :) I havent had a proper conversation in months and all I can think about is myself and the mistakes I made and the horrible life that is waiting for me due to my lack of social skills, my own lazziness, my mental health issues...
The only person that seems to really care about me might be my therapist and I actually don't even deserve it. Okay there is also one of my siblings that still cares for me but I think he is slowly giving up on me. And that might be the best for him! I am not mad about it, just sad I cant change myself for the better.
I should be more gratefull towards my parents... they still support me and let me live in their house but most of the time I am just angry with them (and I get angry with myself for that).
so, I don't know why I wrote this threat but maybe someone understands me and my bad English :)
