Venting SN - ... just me, or?

[Moonbounce]

Now that I've bought it and am waiting for it I can't get it out of my mind. Even if I don't necessarily ctb as soon as it arrives I desperately want it to be within my grasp just to have it.

Is that weird or a just me thing? The waiting is the hardest part. I've still got so long possibly. Ugh.

 

[Ghost2211]

I did the same thing. That feeling went away when it arrived, and I've had it for several months now.

 

[Deleted member 18655]

Now that I've bought it and am waiting for it I can get it out of my mind. Even if I don't necessarily ctb as soon as it arrives I desperately want it to be within my grasp just to have it.

Is that weird or a just me thing? The waiting is the hardest part. I've still got so long possibly. Ugh.

I am right there with you. This waiting is killing me!

 

[PJFord]

haha Me as well. It was a relief when it arrived, and two days earlier than the tracker said. (I live only 30 miles from LW so not surprising it was quick.) Five minutes after ordering from LW, I got confirmation it was sent. Outstanding customer service I would use again if I was going to live. LOL

 

[Checkmate3]

haha Me as well. It was a relief when it arrived, and two days earlier than the tracker said. (I live only 30 miles from LW so not surprising it was quick.) Five minutes after ordering from LW, I got confirmation it was sent. Outstanding customer service I would use again if I was going to live. LOL

Can I ask, did you get yours in a square bottle or a round one - like in the pictures?

 

[PJFord]

Can I ask, did you get yours in a square bottle or a round one - like in the pictures?

Square bottle.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I had that feeling while waiting for mine. Was such a comfort and still is to know that it's around me.

 

[Checkmate3]

Square bottle.

Okay good, because I was wondering what's up with that. My bottle also had some numbers hand-written at the bottom in black marker.

 

[rt1989526]

It's nice to have yes but my mind now shifts to "will this work?" and now I just obsess with that. Probably why I'm in this situation to begin with.

 

[Nymph]

It's not just you, when mine arrived I can't stop thinking about ctb.

 

[InterstateFlowers]

Definitely not just you! After so many of us yearning for death, having something so close yet not within our grasp is torturous! This peace of mind to have an option beside you is a fraction of the comfort we need and deserve.

 

[PJFord]

It's nice to have yes but my mind now shifts to "will this work?" and now I just obsess with that. Probably why I'm in this situation to begin with.

Same with me! It only took a few days and a few bucks to get SN, same with the antiemtic. And now I'm questioning can ending my life really be this easy? I have my hanging setup as well as I'm vacillating between methods. Neither is fail-safe.

 

[Raminiki]

Yes, it was difficult to source, but I managed to procure three unique samples, as well as all the other paraphernalia. I have it all tucked up in a neatly sorted box. That box is my insurance policy and emergency kit.

Since coronavirus hit, I've felt increasingly insecure about the future. I was already longterm suicidal, but the state of the world and my life drove me to act on getting my shit together. I always avoided getting final components, or setting up equipment, as a means to avoid a hasty attempt. No longer. I'm calmer about things, knowing I can leave at any time.

The only thing to be wary of, is acting carelessly because I can just end it if I can't deal with the consequences. I hope you take this into consideration too.

All the best to you.