Never have done and never will do drugs in my life, but how did you get hooked? Was there not someone there in your childhood/life to tell you drugs were extremely harmful and should never be taken? I know that lots of people get addicted to drugs but I've never talked to someone personally who's done them to understand what happened to get them there.
It's a strange one. I always liked a bit of coke when I went out drinking but after the gram was gone I could stop. Then I lived with someone who always did coke and after a certain amountof time if I had a few beers my mind would say (oh lets get some coke) anyway after a few months I moved out didnt have a dealers number so it all stopped.
The I got into Codeine off the dark web. I used to drink with 60ml Codeine and get hammered but would always go work and was wicked at my job but most nights I would come home and get on it. I enjoyed it, went gym and saw my friends etc.
I knew I was doing to much but I didnt care as i enjoyed it and iwas/am single with no kids etc.
Got made redundant end of 2018. Got a decent payout and wasn't to fussed as I was bored of the job and wasnted to progress in another career. Went out to Hong Kong and Korea over xmas 18 and new years 19. That was always my thing as well. Every year since 2011 I would take 5 weeks off work and travel. Thailand, South America, USA, Vietnam etc. So I was happy, good flat, in good shape etc.
Got home in Jan 19 and started looking for a new job but I just couldn't be bothered with it all and felt I needed more time off. In my city I got a new dealers number who does coke 24/7 and I do mean drop offs 24/7. It spiralled from there. Day binges etc. I know it was bad but kept telling myself " you are just letting off steam" and in my own mind I was, but it well out of hand.
Went through all my cash, got sacked from the new jobs/jobs I had and then the health problems started. Enlarged heart, trouble breathing.
I have always not really looked after my body so it's no shock. This is not a woe belittle me story as I know I am an idiot for putting myself in this situation.
It really has been going on for a year now and I know it will keep happening. I have been in hospital several times and felt bad as I am taking up space for people who actually need it.
It's funny for me cos I think back and think "if you would have said this would happen to yourself I would say I am mad" but here I am.
Thats why I am 100% ok with my choice, I am not the man I used to be and I dont want to be this new person. I have no motovation and desires anymore even after taking several months of all drugs when I lived with my mum in the summer. I got a new job and every day I was bored shitless.
All this pales in comparisson to a lot of other people I fully understand that. People might be reading this thinking get a grip. But I am in about 15k of debt. No money, wrecked body, nose, heart, teeth, no job, no desires anymore am I just done. I can control when i go and the method, so I am happy with that.
Anyway rambling on there. I guess bordom would be the main reason and it spiralled from there and now my mind needs the buzz of it all.
TLDR :- Got into drugs due to bordom and not knowing when to stop. Don't do drugs.
