Hi,
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I am going to ctb, because I've listened to the suggestions that it will take a long period of my time to get better, yet I didn't achieve the desired results. I have sacrificed a lot of my time towards this goal, more than I could, yet the last psychotherapist harmed me a lot, the effects lasting till right now. He profited from my neuroticism to induce beliefs that serve his psychotherapeutic interests, without considering the effects it has on other aspects of my life. I have discussed this concept, yet he didn't say anything. From his expression I could tell he understood, yet he chose to guve me the silent treatment. I am done living in this kind of world, where nobody is taking me seriously, and that person was the last straw for me.
I have finally managed to acquire a suitable method, I've read that a big factor contributing to failure is the survival instinct, that deliberately influences one to make mistakes. This is where I need you. I will list my preparations, please amend it:
1. 25 grams of Sodium Nitrite, dissolved into tap water (im in the UK)
2. 1 Tablet of Buccastem M, placed under the upper lip. No chewing or swallowing. Will allow to slowly dissolve, should take 1 hour.
3. Sodium bicarbonate - 1 teaspoon dissolved into half glass of tap water. (Question: I have not eaten much lately, perhaps my stomach ph is high enough already?)
Method: First the Buccastem until it dissolves, then the Sodium Bicarbonate, then the SN dissolved into a cup of water. Doors locked, with a bag nearby if I vomit.
Anything I missed?
Skip much lower if you are not interested in the background story.
I am going to ctb, because I've listened to the suggestions that it will take a long period of my time to get better, yet I didn't achieve the desired results. I have sacrificed a lot of my time towards this goal, more than I could, yet the last psychotherapist harmed me a lot, the effects lasting till right now. He profited from my neuroticism to induce beliefs that serve his psychotherapeutic interests, without considering the effects it has on other aspects of my life. I have discussed this concept, yet he didn't say anything. From his expression I could tell he understood, yet he chose to guve me the silent treatment. I am done living in this kind of world, where nobody is taking me seriously, and that person was the last straw for me.
I have finally managed to acquire a suitable method, I've read that a big factor contributing to failure is the survival instinct, that deliberately influences one to make mistakes. This is where I need you. I will list my preparations, please amend it:
1. 25 grams of Sodium Nitrite, dissolved into tap water (im in the UK)
2. 1 Tablet of Buccastem M, placed under the upper lip. No chewing or swallowing. Will allow to slowly dissolve, should take 1 hour.
3. Sodium bicarbonate - 1 teaspoon dissolved into half glass of tap water. (Question: I have not eaten much lately, perhaps my stomach ph is high enough already?)
Method: First the Buccastem until it dissolves, then the Sodium Bicarbonate, then the SN dissolved into a cup of water. Doors locked, with a bag nearby if I vomit.
Anything I missed?
