Sn attempt

[Lollypop24]

I'm waiting for my partner to go out and then I will be taking 25g sodium nitrite. My worst fear is I'll suffocate or choke or start seizing/ something out of my control.. I haven't taken anti-emetics or anything
I keep either delaying or convincing myself I need sleepers or anti-emetics. I've been told by afew people that I don't really need them, that with SN alone I will succeed

 

[HerculePoirot]

Be strong. Be the bus fast but peaceful.

 

[Lollypop24]

So I'm of the belief that there's an afterlife, hopefully. Where you can be reunited with lost loved ones. I wonder if I am right

 

[Shikamaru]

Good luck <3 I will be doing the same in the near future. Keeping you in my thoughts xx

 

[RickSanchez2022]

Will you keep us updated?

 

[Lollypop24]

Good luck <3 I will be doing the same in the near future. Keeping you in my thoughts xx

Thankyou x

Will you keep us updated?

Yes I will, will let yous know what the taste is and how it effects and makes me feel etc
I fear failing and being institutionalised involuntary again, it's hell getting out

 

[RickSanchez2022]

Thankyou x

Yes I will, will let yous know what the taste is and how it effects and makes me feel etc
I fear failing and being institutionalized involuntary again, it's hell getting out

Were you institutionalized for suicide attempt or something else?

 

[Lollypop24]

Were you institutionalized for suicide attempt or something else?

This year for a suicide attempt, and previously for manic episodes.

 

[Littlewittlelight]

I'm waiting for my partner to go out and then I will be taking 25g sodium nitrite. My worst fear is I'll suffocate or choke or start seizing/ something out of my control.. I haven't taken anti-emetics or anything
I keep either delaying or convincing myself I need sleepers or anti-emetics. I've been told by afew people that I don't really need them, that with SN alone I will succeed

If you feel it's not the right time and feeling uncomfortable could you postpone it and wait? I think it fails more when you are unsure about it? No obligation sorry I don't know your situation but it seems you wanted to get the other ingredients for your infusion too and you were thinking of the same thing as me. I can't choke to death rest I can really bear other things I feel I m so claustrophobic and I gasp even if I put a cloth on my face like I feel scared and it goes out of control not because it's there but because my mind tells me to and I think if that happens I am going to freak out. Do you feel this way ever?

 

[Lollypop24]

Were you institutionalized for suicide attempt or something else?

I woke up in ICU Feb to family, still out of it and unintentionally told my sister and aunt that I hated them for saving me, that they robbed me of being with my mum(she passed last year). They told the hospital staff and I was obviously put on a section 2 and was held at the hospital with security and RPNs with me 24/7. That was march. Nothing has changed or got better. Just alot worse and I feel like I need to go now. I feel peaceful about the fact I'm meant to be with my mum, as fucked as it sounds to anyone else. I've had enough, and I hope that in death I'll find peace, rest and be with my mother again. Life doesn't hold anything for me anymore. What is life, without purpose?

If you feel it's not the right time and feeling uncomfortable could you postpone it and wait? I think it fails more when you are unsure about it? No obligation sorry I don't know your situation but it seems you wanted to get the other ingredients for your infusion too and you were thinking of the same thing as me. I can't choke to death rest I can really bear other things I feel I m so claustrophobic and I gasp even if I put a cloth on my face like I feel scared and it goes out of control not because it's there but because my mind tells me to and I think if that happens I am going to freak out. Do you feel this way ever?

I share this fear yes. I fear alot

 

[Darkover]

So I'm of the belief that there's an afterlife, hopefully. Where you can be reunited with lost loved ones. I wonder if I am right

no when you die your lights go out there's no afterlife just nothingness or maybe rebirth ones things for sure you won't ever see your loved ones again

 

[1000winds]

I feel peaceful about the fact I'm meant to be with my mum, as fucked as it sounds to anyone else.

you can believe whatever you want to believe. the truth is no one knows for sure what happens in the afterlife. i wish you a peaceful reunion with your mum❤❤

 

[Lollypop24]

no when you die your lights go out there's no afterlife just nothingness or maybe rebirth ones things for sure you won't ever see your loved ones again

Nothingness maybe, but as I was born Catholic I'm hoping that it's not a load of bullshit.

 

[RickSanchez2022]

I woke up in ICU Feb to family, still out of it and unintentionally told my sister and aunt that I hated them for saving me, that they robbed me of being with my mum(she passed last year). They told the hospital staff and I was obviously put on a section 2 and was held at the hospital with security and RPNs with me 24/7. That was march. Nothing has changed or got better. Just alot worse and I feel like I need to go now. I feel peaceful about the fact I'm meant to be with my mum, as fucked as it sounds to anyone else. I've had enough, and I hope that in death I'll find peace, rest and be with my mother again. Life doesn't hold anything for me anymore. What is life, without purpose?

I share this fear yes. I fear alot

What method did you use in your failed attempt?

 

[Lollypop24]

you can believe whatever you want to believe. the truth is no one knows for sure what happens in the afterlife. i wish you a peaceful reunion with your mum❤❤

Thankyou. I'm hoping for that one thing, above everything.

 

[ever so lonely]

heya lollypop24 just wanted to say i wish you well, and that if you do want to postpone that is ok also as long as you have your method in place it will always be there so no rush if you aren't quite ready, peace and blessings whichever you decide as ultimately it is your choice and god bless

 

[Lollypop24]

What method did you use in your failed attempt?

130 7.5mg zoppiclone, 2500mg amitriptyline, olanzapine, mirtazapine, 70cl of vodka and just under a litre of whiskey. I started downing them straight with the pills and fought through the burning throat. Woke up 2days later as I was found and intubated as I wasn't breathing for myself and was comatose. Would not respond to touch or pain. Miracle apparently. Since then I realised I needed a guaranteed option

 

[Hollowillow]

I was worried to be unavble to find the other stuff, or be unable to use them right. I hope SN works alone.

I wonder if taking simple bicarbonate to lower stomach acid can work? I think I read this one increases absorbtion speed? Does it? The anti vomit sounds useful, but people puked anyway. And if you have 3 or 4 glasses then no worry to put more back in.

Maybe if you lie on your side instead of back you won't choke in a vomit fountain?

If your reason to die is to see your mother again, and not because you hate life in general... Don't... Reincarnation is more logical. Matter gets recycled. Energy too. So her soul will. And if there is a heaven to meet your mom, maybe there is a hell for people who suicide too ... And you'd be unlikely to find her soul among an eternity of souls...

The way life works is that parents clone themselves into a new evolved version better adapted to the new world. So they can live on. If you kill yourself, you don't see her again, you kill what's left of her.

I'm absolutely pro death (even pro murder). But if you don't hate life, only want to see the dead... Look inside you. Close your eyes, visualise her... Talk to her, think of what she'd say

It's natural to desire suicide after the death if a loved one, especially if they died by suicide. Grief is a physical injury... The stress damages the body. I used vitamin c & b to cope with losing my entire abusive family, hope for live, career, body finctions to diseases & accidents...

But I endured too much... I tried self love... self care worked for physical health .. but It's pointless to live unloved... Abused... Ridiculed... Assaulted... Threatened even by social services...

If you still have loved ones, maybe try to grieve together?

But if you had traumas and lost your only support... I understand... I wish I could believe that you'll see her in death .. but my mother was abusive so eternity with her is worse than death...

I hope that it will work if you try.

Don't do it at home if your boyfriend or someone will come in in 8h! I'd be scared of hotels. I'd hide deep in the woods at night... Scary... But safer...

I wish you freedom. I'm sorry if it was cruel to say that you probably won't see your mom. I almost died twice and saw no heaven... Just endless paths of infinite possibilities... Like trees of lights... Then I saw The Nothing... But... I was ... Utterly alone. I'm worried that you'll regret not staying alive to be with your other loved ones... I miss The Nothing... Dreamless sleep. If it doesn't sound good... Then go hug the family members who are still alive, crying your heart out that you miss your mom. I'm so sorry but from what I saw in my own near death experiences... Death isn't meeting love again... Death is relief from pain... If you want this... I understand... And I wish it to you with all my tortured heart...

Please forgive me

 

[Forever Sleep]

Safe and peaceful travels if you decide to go ahead with it. I lost my Mum too (but as a child). I hope with all my heart we get to see them again.

I almost died twice and saw no heaven... Just endless paths of infinite possibilities... Like trees of lights... Then I saw The Nothing... But... I was ... Utterly alone.

Honestly, I don't have a firm belief on what comes after this. I was brought up to believe in heaven- to comfort me because a large chunk of my close family members died in my childhood.

Now, I'm extremely cynical about God/religion/afterlife. It seems more logical that there's nothing or worse- reincarnation. Let's face it- if the designer of the afterlife is as sadistic as the designer of this world, we're all doomed to an infinite cycle.

However, I do REALLY go for the idea that our brains make a whole lot of stuff up before we finally go- and similar to dreams- I expect time is very distorted and it can feel like a long time. I wonder if the reason people do or don't see things at these near death experiences is because that is what they're expecting/ not expecting to see. Be that consciously or unconsciously. Unless we're master lucid dreamers, we can't usually choose what this is.

All that said, I'd much rather believe I was going to see my lost family members again rather than go to hell or be left alone wandering in purgatory. I do understand your reasoning and perhaps you're right but if these places only exist in our minds- I'd rather err on the nice, heavenly side.

 

[Finding Sirius]

I wish you well on your journey. Just to give you some peace of mind regarding death by SN, you won't choke. SN changes the composition of your blood making it unable to hold and transport oxygen. It has no effect on your lungs. The lack of oxygen in your bloodstream will cause you to pass out before any real pain occurs. This is why it has earned the nickname "poor man's N". I hope this settles your mind and gives comfort in your final moments. May you and your mother have a wonderful reunion.

 

[Niirvana]

I understand you, I share your feeling and I am here for whatever you need

 

[RickSanchez2022]

Are you going through with it today?

 

[madiroze]

So I'm of the belief that there's an afterlife, hopefully. Where you can be reunited with lost loved ones. I wonder if I am right

Assuming your 'loved ones' want to see you again. What if they don't? What if they want a clean slate? What if the life they had on Earth was miserable and they were forced to live in quiet desperation like 99% of people? Your arrival will be a painful reminder of that, so don't expect a warm welcome if you get any welcome at all.

I say this as someone who doesn't believe in the afterlife but as a thought exercise, I find it presumptuous that anyone wants to meet up again in the afterlife. I sure as hell wouldn't want any reminder of this place.

 

[Finding Sirius]

Assuming your 'loved ones' want to see you again. What if they don't? What if they want a clean slate? What if the life they had on Earth was miserable and they were forced to live in quiet desperation like 99% of people? Your arrival will be a painful reminder of that, so don't expect a warm welcome if you get any welcome at all.

I say this as someone who doesn't believe in the afterlife but as a thought exercise, I find it presumptuous that anyone wants to meet up again in the afterlife. I sure as hell wouldn't want any reminder of this place.

Hello, that is a very cruel and thoughtless thing to say to someone before they pass. I understand that this is your view on things, but seeing as how losing/ wanting to be reunited with her mother is a big part of her wanting to depart from this world, your comment is out of line. It is my belief that there is no suffering once we pass, so why would her mother see her daughter as a painful reminder of life on earth? If anything I believe she will be embraced.

There is always the possibility that things won't go the way we expect. But your comment only adds to the pain this woman is most definitely already in, shame on you. @Lollypop24 I wish you the best, regardless of what happens on the otherside. May you have lasting peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find freedom from all suffering, farewell.

 

[ge0rge]

Assuming your 'loved ones' want to see you again. What if they don't? What if they want a clean slate? What if the life they had on Earth was miserable and they were forced to live in quiet desperation like 99% of people? Your arrival will be a painful reminder of that, so don't expect a warm welcome if you get any welcome at all.

I say this as someone who doesn't believe in the afterlife but as a thought exercise, I find it presumptuous that anyone wants to meet up again in the afterlife. I sure as hell wouldn't want any reminder of this place.

cunt

no when you die your lights go out there's no afterlife just nothingness or maybe rebirth ones things for sure you won't ever see your loved ones again

an even bigger cunt you are. read the room, you absolute fucking moron!

 

[👁️👃👁️]

no when you die your lights go out there's no afterlife just nothingness or maybe rebirth ones things for sure you won't ever see your loved ones again

Lol. You absolutely just don't stop do you?

Assuming your 'loved ones' want to see you again. What if they don't? What if they want a clean slate? What if the life they had on Earth was miserable and they were forced to live in quiet desperation like 99% of people? Your arrival will be a painful reminder of that, so don't expect a warm welcome if you get any welcome at all.

I say this as someone who doesn't believe in the afterlife but as a thought exercise, I find it presumptuous that anyone wants to meet up again in the afterlife. I sure as hell wouldn't want any reminder of this place.

Are you seriously that shallow?

@Lollypop24 You'll definitely see your mom and loved ones no doubt about that.

Hello, that is a very cruel and thoughtless thing to say to someone before they pass. I understand that this is your view on things, but seeing as how losing/ wanting to be reunited with her mother is a big part of her wanting to depart from this world, your comment is out of line. It is my belief that there is no suffering once we pass, so why would her mother see her daughter as a painful reminder of life on earth? If anything I believe she will be embraced.

There is always the possibility that things won't go the way we expect. But your comment only adds to the pain this woman is most definitely already in, shame on you. @Lollypop24 I wish you the best, regardless of what happens on the otherside. May you have lasting peace.

Because these people are complete idiots, have no sort of emotional intelligence, they're energy vampires, who want to kill as many people's vibes as possible and bring them down and try to force their viewpoint upon people and say that it's right.

Safe and peaceful travels if you decide to go ahead with it. I lost my Mum too (but as a child). I hope with all my heart we get to see them again.

Honestly, I don't have a firm belief on what comes after this. I was brought up to believe in heaven- to comfort me because a large chunk of my close family members died in my childhood.

Now, I'm extremely cynical about God/religion/afterlife. It seems more logical that there's nothing or worse- reincarnation. Let's face it- if the designer of the afterlife is as sadistic as the designer of this world, we're all doomed to an infinite cycle.

However, I do REALLY go for the idea that our brains make a whole lot of stuff up before we finally go- and similar to dreams- I expect time is very distorted and it can feel like a long time. I wonder if the reason people do or don't see things at these near death experiences is because that is what they're expecting/ not expecting to see. Be that consciously or unconsciously. Unless we're master lucid dreamers, we can't usually choose what this is.

All that said, I'd much rather believe I was going to see my lost family members again rather than go to hell or be left alone wandering in purgatory. I do understand your reasoning and perhaps you're right but if these places only exist in our minds- I'd rather err on the nice, heavenly side.

How about we just show some fucking love and respect to OP? Sound like a fucking good idea doesn't it?' it does!

I was worried to be unavble to find the other stuff, or be unable to use them right. I hope SN works alone.

I wonder if taking simple bicarbonate to lower stomach acid can work? I think I read this one increases absorbtion speed? Does it? The anti vomit sounds useful, but people puked anyway. And if you have 3 or 4 glasses then no worry to put more back in.

Maybe if you lie on your side instead of back you won't choke in a vomit fountain?

If your reason to die is to see your mother again, and not because you hate life in general... Don't... Reincarnation is more logical. Matter gets recycled. Energy too. So her soul will. And if there is a heaven to meet your mom, maybe there is a hell for people who suicide too ... And you'd be unlikely to find her soul among an eternity of souls...

The way life works is that parents clone themselves into a new evolved version better adapted to the new world. So they can live on. If you kill yourself, you don't see her again, you kill what's left of her.

I'm absolutely pro death (even pro murder). But if you don't hate life, only want to see the dead... Look inside you. Close your eyes, visualise her... Talk to her, think of what she'd say

It's natural to desire suicide after the death if a loved one, especially if they died by suicide. Grief is a physical injury... The stress damages the body. I used vitamin c & b to cope with losing my entire abusive family, hope for live, career, body finctions to diseases & accidents...

But I endured too much... I tried self love... self care worked for physical health .. but It's pointless to live unloved... Abused... Ridiculed... Assaulted... Threatened even by social services...

If you still have loved ones, maybe try to grieve together?

But if you had traumas and lost your only support... I understand... I wish I could believe that you'll see her in death .. but my mother was abusive so eternity with her is worse than death...

I hope that it will work if you try.

Don't do it at home if your boyfriend or someone will come in in 8h! I'd be scared of hotels. I'd hide deep in the woods at night... Scary... But safer...

I wish you freedom. I'm sorry if it was cruel to say that you probably won't see your mom. I almost died twice and saw no heaven... Just endless paths of infinite possibilities... Like trees of lights... Then I saw The Nothing... But... I was ... Utterly alone. I'm worried that you'll regret not staying alive to be with your other loved ones... I miss The Nothing... Dreamless sleep. If it doesn't sound good... Then go hug the family members who are still alive, crying your heart out that you miss your mom. I'm so sorry but from what I saw in my own near death experiences... Death isn't meeting love again... Death is relief from pain... If you want this... I understand... And I wish it to you with all my tortured heart...

Please forgive me

You've got to me kidding me. I truly didn't realize how many people lack emotional intelligence.
Why don't you all keep your beliefs to to yourself and comfort OP? Go do this shit in OffTopic. You all would come on to somebody's goodbye thread trying to force your beliefs on people and stir them away from what they feel and believe that comforts them.

 

[LaughToNotCry]

I'm waiting for my partner to go out and then I will be taking 25g sodium nitrite. My worst fear is I'll suffocate or choke or start seizing/ something out of my control.. I haven't taken anti-emetics or anything
I keep either delaying or convincing myself I need sleepers or anti-emetics. I've been told by afew people that I don't really need them, that with SN alone I will succeed

Just sodium nitrite will do the work from what I've read in the forum, I would just suggest to fast before taking it. In any case, I wish you a peacefull end.

 

[Darkover]

Lol. You absolutely just don't stop do you?

no shu

cunt

an even bigger cunt you are. read the room, you absolute fucking moron!

just speaking the truth theres zero chance of ever seeing your loved ones once you die

 

[actual_fox]

I'm waiting for my partner to go out and then I will be taking 25g sodium nitrite. My worst fear is I'll suffocate or choke or start seizing/ something out of my control.. I haven't taken anti-emetics or anything
I keep either delaying or convincing myself I need sleepers or anti-emetics. I've been told by afew people that I don't really need them, that with SN alone I will succeed

Safe jurneys! I hope you find peace

no shu

just speaking the truth theres zero chance of ever seeing your loved ones once you die

I would not recommend to ctb to meet loved ones, but how can you be sure what happens after you die? Or what life is?