I wrote earlier that I planned to CTB. Didd not get it done cause I was not able to get it done under the timetable I had. Now slumbering in bed, and all I could think of was picturing myself drinking the two glasses of SN, passing peacefully. Almost all my time these are my thoughts, dreaming of leaving. My next opurtyrtunity will be Monday morning. Praying it will be done and that I have the courage and peace of mind nessecary. All happy memories i my life just makes me sad. Times that will never come back. Maybe was the happiness just an illution?
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 45,765
At least to me real happiness doesn't even exist. Humans are never satisfied. As humans I believe that we often view past events as being better than they actually were only because life is worse now. But it must be painful to have memories of times when things were not as awful. I wish you freedom from all suffering for when the time feels right for you to leave.
I have always run from event to event. Running from something or myself maybe. Now I have nowhere to run but into the end, and I wish it was already here.
