Should I keep living for my elderly father's sake?

[MicropBaldCurrycel]

Ok im basically struggling to cope in life, i want to not exist so bad.

The only thing holding me back is how it would hurt my father.

Hes 70 and it would kill him, i think hed have a stroke or heart attack.

Hes very sweet and gullible in a good way and always hopeful.

Hes done alot for me since im useless fuck up he pays my rent, buys me food, pays my internet , take me anywhere i wana go.

He a very good father, but im so tired of life.

What do i do?

 

[Sleeper System]

You already know what you should do. All that matters is what you want to do. You have to be the one to make the choice. My opinion is stick it out. He is taking care of you. The least you could do is return the favor. Even though it's hard. Humans have a way of enduring hardship.

 

[MicropBaldCurrycel]

You already know what you should do. All that matters is what you want to do. You have to be the one to make the choice. My opinion is stick it out. He is taking care of you. The least you could do is return the favor. Even though it's hard. Humans have a way of enduring hardship.

Yeah but theres many difficulties for me in life so its gonna be hard to live

 

[Lost Magic]

Can't tell you what to do my friend, but if I was you I would try my very best to keep going for your lovely father. I know it is hard, but should cherish him for as long as you can. I wish I had more time with my mother and I miss her everyday. Hang in there buddy.

 

[Cathy Ames]

This is certainly a difficult position to be in. Mine is slightly similar. I have a 20-year-old cat, who has been with me since he was 6 weeks old (my last real connection to the person I used to be). I would like him to live out the rest of his life but also feel it would really stress him out and be bad for his health to go live with another person at this point. He is kind of delicate at this age, has some health problems being kept in check, etc. Meanwhile, my situation is pretty horrible, on multiple levels. I could make it much easier on myself and live the rest of my life under far less stress (and maybe have some enjoyment?) if I set a (vague, inexact) date, quit my job, etc., and CTB when I run out of money. It's at a point where, if I stick around, I am going to have to work my ass off and be even more miserable. I cannot actually "fix" even one darned thing so as to have an actual future, but I have to put on a show as though I am trying, otherwise there will likely be some kind of "intervention," and my situation will get even worse due to that. But this cat needs a home (my home), and that means I need to stick around and manage to keep an adequate (for him) living situation.

I tell you this just to let you know that someone else in the world (and many others besides me) are making similar mental calculations involving our loving obligations. No need to comment or anything. [It might be better if you don't comment, as it will probably make me even sadder. LOL.] I just want to let you know that I totally get it. If you decide to stay instead of leaving, I hope your situation is different enough from mine that you can actually improve your circumstances during the additional time that you stay around. Some people are able to turn things around, and maybe you are one of them.

 

[Graytaichi]

90% of people will tell u not to. But its your own decision. There is nohing wromg backing out of suicide

 

[freedompass]

It's a tough call OP. I mean 70 isn't even that old these days. What if he lives another 20 years to be my mother's age. I really feel for both of you, but have no answers.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

It is completely your decision what you should and want to do. I don't think anyone here is capable of answering this question for you.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I sympathise with you. Not sure I'll ever have the courage to ctb but I definitely don't think I could do it while my Dad is still here. He is 76. He's the last one here who I think simply wouldn't get over it and like you- I worry it could induce a stroke or heart attack.

I know it can feel like your trapped by it, so I can understand how bad you feel. I do feel like it's the kindest thing to do if you can hang on and wait for him but also, I would never call anyone who went ahead with suicide selfish- they're pain just became too much to bear. I hope you can find the strength to hold on but I wish you well in whatever you decide.

 

[Darkover]

do what right for you not anyone else these pepole bought you alive to this shithole\hellhole the least they can do is take care of you for all the shit they put you though in this shitty world shitty lives.

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide is a personal choice and we all have our right to exit at a time of our own choosing. As said by others it is your decision, as after all it is your life and only you know your situation and only you know what is best. I do not think that I could personally ever stay alive only for the sake of others, it would be unbearable.

I'm sorry that you are in this difficult situation. I am also tired, the kind of tired that no amount of sleep can take away and I know that it can be hard to carry on when you are suffering so much. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.