Should I give myself a second chance?

[Deafsn0w]

My argon will be delivered today and most supplies will be delivered tomorrow. Today my mom just told me that I can get a driver's license in a few months and she will buy me a car before I leave for college next year January. She also will find a job for me. So do you think I should give myself a second chance?

 

[BipolarGuy]

My argon will be delivered today and most supplies will be delivered tomorrow. Today my mom just told me that I can get a driver's license in a few months and she will buy me a car before I leave for college next year January. She also will find a job for me. So do you think I should give myself a second chance?

My genuine heartfelt advice would be to not snip the thread of life if you feel there is a chance that things may improve.
Good luck to you, and I hope things do improve.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

Yes.

 

[Deafsn0w]

My genuine heartfelt advice would be to not snip the thread of life if you feel there is a chance that things may improve.
Good luck to you, and I hope things do improve.

But I really really really really really really want to ctb. So I don't think having a car or having a job will make me feel better.

 

[BipolarGuy]

But I really really really really really really want to ctb. So I don't think having a car or having a job will make me feel better.

OK.
Let's think about this.

What are your reasons for wanting to end your life?

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

But I really really really really really really want to ctb. So I don't think having a car or having a job will make me feel better.

You will only know if you try.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

what would make you want to live/postpone ctb?

 

[Deafsn0w]

OK.
Let's think about this.

What are your reasons for wanting to end your life?

I have no friends in college. I'd always cry in my dorm room. I don't want to go back to college cause it makes me feel depressed. I also am scared of the future. I don't know what to do after college. That stressed me out

 

[BipolarGuy]

I have no friends in college. I'd always cry in my dorm room. I don't want to go back to college cause it makes me feel depressed.

OK. Is there anything else?

I will share a personal story with you in a minute.

 

[Deafsn0w]

what would make you want to live/postpone ctb?

My family. I don't want my loved ones to suffer

 

[BipolarGuy]

I have no friends in college. I'd always cry in my dorm room. I don't want to go back to college cause it makes me feel depressed. I also am scared of the future. I don't know what to do after college. That stressed me out

OK I've seen your edit, got it.

I'll share a personal story:

When I was 16-21 ish, I was so socially withdrawn (and so into my studies, especially maths) that it was suggested by my college that I may have Asperger's (a high functioning form of autism).
As it happens, after my first suicide attempt at university for precisely the social reasons you describe, I came out of my shell to such an extent that when I took time out of university I was quite popular among my colleagues and others. I was the complete opposite: outgoing, social, less inhibited to a degree, able to read subtle social cues as if it was second nature, etc.
Maybe bipolar had something to do with going from very low to quite 'high', but what I'm saying is that being shy is not something that is built into you. You can overcome it.
By the way I will add this: university is a very social time. I look back now and wonder what I gained from the nights out. Nothing!
OK I only had the occasional night out or social drink, not like others. But if you're feeling low because you're not out every night clubbing, then don't judge yourself against what everybody else is doing.
Also: you will find that you fit in better with people who are a few years older than you. People who have got past the 'clubbing every night' phase (if they ever had it). Essentially, you may already be behaving in a way that is more mature, in some ways.

I know I haven't gone into much detail, and I know I haven't worded things perfectly there.

 

[Mm80]

But I really really really really really really want to ctb. So I don't think having a car or having a job will make me feel better.

Well in that case you have nothing to lose.
You try the car and job and get happy,
Or you try the car and job and are still not hapoy and then have the choice to do something about it.

 

[Deafsn0w]

OK I've seen your edit, got it.

I'll share a personal story:

When I was 16-21 ish, I was so socially withdrawn (and so into my studies, especially maths) that it was suggested by my college that I may have Asperger's (a high functioning form of autism).
As it happens, after my first suicide attempt at university for precisely the social reasons you describe, I came out of my shell to such an extent that when I took time out of university I was quite popular among my colleagues and others. I was the complete opposite: outgoing, social, less inhibited to a degree, able to read subtle social cues as if it was second nature, etc.
Maybe bipolar had something to do with going from very low to quite 'high', but what I'm saying is that being shy is not something that is built into you. You can overcome it.
By the way I will add this: university is a very social time. I look back now and wonder what I gained from the nights out. Nothing!
OK I only had the occasional night out or social drink, not like others. But if you're feeling low because you're not out every night clubbing, then don't judge yourself against what everybody else is doing.
Also: you will find that you fit in better with people who are a few years older than you. People who have got past the 'clubbing every night' phase (if they ever had it). Essentially, you may already be behaving in a way that is more mature, in some ways.

I know I haven't gone into much detail, and I know I haven't worded things perfectly there.

What if it turns out to be worse? That's the reason I want to ctb. So I think I'm gonna ctb before I leave for college. I'm not gonna get better. I know that I will never get better.

 

[BipolarGuy]

What if it turns out to be worse? That's the reason I want to ctb. So I think I'm gonna ctb before I leave for college. I'm not gonna get better. I know that I will never get better.

You mean your social situation?
Well it can go one of three ways: get better, get worse, stay the same.
I think in order to maximise the chances of it getting better, you need to look at forming friendships with people who are like you.
For example if you don't like clubbing (I don't either), then why feel the need to 'fit in' with people who go clubbing every Friday and Saturday?
Identify the type of people you'd like to meet, then think where you're likely to meet them. Looking at what societies your college/university student's union has is a good start.
You said your mum will buy you a car and get you a job. This is a good first step towards greater independence.
Even if you don't know exactly what you want to do after you complete your studies, you aren't going to be jobless.

 

[dec132013]

What if it turns out to be worse? That's the reason I want to ctb. So I think I'm gonna ctb before I leave for college. I'm not gonna get better. I know that I will never get better.

You can always change your mind if the situation gets worse, but you likely can't undo death so it should be the absolute last option. Got nothing to lose by stickin around a bit longer than planned.

 

[Deafsn0w]

You mean your social situation?
Well it can go one of three ways: get better, get worse, stay the same.
I think in order to maximise the chances of it getting better, you need to look at forming friendships with people who are like you.
For example if you don't like clubbing (I don't either), then why feel the need to 'fit in' with people who go clubbing every Friday and Saturday?
Identify the type of people you'd like to meet, then think where you're likely to meet them. Looking at what societies your college/university student's union has is a good start.
You said your mum will buy you a car and get you a job. This is a good first step towards greater independence.
Even if you don't know exactly what you want to do after you complete your studies, you aren't going to be jobless.

The biggest problem is social anxiety. I'm scared of jobs cause I have to interview and talk to people. I don't want to work 9-5 for the rest of my life. I also don't want be stressed about work, bills, etc.

As for the college, I also have a hard time finding a friend who is like me. I'd never left my dorm room unless I go to classes and eat.

 

[deadgirlahsatan]

You might want to give urself a second chance. Only u can decide though.

So sorry u have social anxiety.

I have it too. Very hard to deal with.

 

[Deleted member 4993]

I hope you make the right choice for what's best for you @Deafsn0w
your a lovely wee soul and I admire you so much and always have bless you

 

[BipolarGuy]

The biggest problem is social anxiety. I'm scared of jobs cause I have to interview and talk to people. I don't want to work 9-5 for the rest of my life. I also don't want be stressed about work, bills, etc.

As for the college, I also have a hard time finding a friend who is like me. I'd never left my dorm room unless I go to classes and eat.

I know I'm simplifying it, but when I had social issues back then it was basically caused by thinking people were judging me or analyzing me in some way.
Don't give people too much credit. They're largely tied up in their own world to care what you're doing.
I know it's easy to say now, but relax.
I feel like that might be like telling a depressed person to "cheer up", but having been in your position I do know what it feels like.

What kind of person would be like you?
Describe them to me.

What kind of job would you like?
Again I'll give advice based on my experiences: I'm a bit of a maverick (in real life too) and I like to do things my way (which, frankly, is usually better in some way: faster, cheaper, etc). Starting my own accounting business worked for me...until depression put an end to it that is, but that's beside the point.
Maybe self-employment would be better for you?

 

[Good4Nothing]

Yes.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Is it possible she figured out what the purchase was for and is trying to bribe you to stay alive? And if so, is she likely to follow through on her promises, or are they just dangling carrots?

 

[schopenh]

If there's ever a shadow of a doubt I'd say to take that chance no matter how slim. As far as we know, you only get one existence.

 

[nerve]

If I had anyone willing to help me as much as your mother is, I'd give myself at least a few more chances.

 

[muffin222]

Yes, absolutely. If even a flicker of desire to keep going is there, then I think you should

 

[tidalwxves]

My argon will be delivered today and most supplies will be delivered tomorrow. Today my mom just told me that I can get a driver's license in a few months and she will buy me a car before I leave for college next year January. She also will find a job for me. So do you think I should give myself a second chance?

Why not? you have support and resources, I think this is good! I hope it works out for you

 

[puppy9]

My argon will be delivered today and most supplies will be delivered tomorrow. Today my mom just told me that I can get a driver's license in a few months and she will buy me a car before I leave for college next year January. She also will find a job for me. So do you think I should give myself a second chance?

Your mom sounds like a nice person. If so, can she be me mom too? We're siblings now, there's no way out.

You can try I guess, but don't pressure yourself because that makes recovery sucks. Take your time

 

[Lmd]

Maybe these things aren't what are you looking to achieve happiness but they can help. Having a car and money gives you some freedom to do whatever you want. Maybe a trip, maybe meet friends who live far away, maybe you can move in the future to a place that offers you another point of view, you can start therapy if you aren't already in one. If you are not urgent I think it can wait because new opportunities will open up for you for sure.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

My argon will be delivered today and most supplies will be delivered tomorrow. Today my mom just told me that I can get a driver's license in a few months and she will buy me a car before I leave for college next year January. She also will find a job for me. So do you think I should give myself a second chance?

If you are asking the question, then I believe that you probably know that the answer is yes. There is a lot going for you there, and you will still have the option to do whatever you wish at any stage. For something so final, if you have any chance I believe it's always worth taking it. A clever gambler will always keep his/her options open for as long as possible.

 

[cyberlordsumit]

My family. I don't want my loved ones to suffer

You should. Live for yourself. Live for all those who couldn't.
(I'm nit pro life, but she has a chance.. she seem to be young too)

 

[Chupacabra 44]

I have no friends in college. I'd always cry in my dorm room. I don't want to go back to college cause it makes me feel depressed. I also am scared of the future. I don't know what to do after college. That stressed me out

Maybe consider transferring schools. I transferred lots of time. Sometimes friendships were better at other schools. It was definitely hit or miss for me at each school.

The biggest problem is social anxiety. I'm scared of jobs cause I have to interview and talk to people. I don't want to work 9-5 for the rest of my life. I also don't want be stressed about work, bills, etc.

As for the college, I also have a hard time finding a friend who is like me. I'd never left my dorm room unless I go to classes and eat.

Maybe pursue work in a non traditional field so as to avoid the 9 to 5 grind. Seek out resources at school including the placement office and professors in your field of study for tips.

My argon will be delivered today and most supplies will be delivered tomorrow. Today my mom just told me that I can get a driver's license in a few months and she will buy me a car before I leave for college next year January. She also will find a job for me. So do you think I should give myself a second chance?

If one is unsure and needs to ask then the answer is "yes".

The biggest problem is social anxiety. I'm scared of jobs cause I have to interview and talk to people. I don't want to work 9-5 for the rest of my life. I also don't want be stressed about work, bills, etc.

As for the college, I also have a hard time finding a friend who is like me. I'd never left my dorm room unless I go to classes and eat.

What coping techniques are you implementing for social society. I seemingly have had it as long as I remember, and definitely since pre- school. It sucks, and I understand.