Help Should I give life one last try?

[boywhowasneverloved]

Things don't seem to get better, and I am almost sure that I want to ctb, but I have a boyfriend, and I feel like I should try to live for one last time before I make my final decision for us, however I don't want to suffer again for a whole another year, it seems a lot for me and I don't seem to get to get to a decision, I am stuck between the two options... How do I even decide?

 

[death_bed221]

Yes you should. Only ctb if u are 150% sure. If u feel like there is some hope try to make the best of it. U can always ctb. But if u ctb u cant try one more time. I wish u peace and hope u find ur way

 

[SVEN]

As long as you aren't 100% certain I'd say don't make a once and for all irreversible decision. CTB is always there, but if you have any hope for something better why not give it a go.
Perhaps the Recovery section might have some members who could offer better suggestions than myself.
Every good wish.

 

[Romanticize]

Exactly what @death_bed221 said. If that thought even crosses your mind for a second, yes absolutely you should. You ctb only then if there is completely no hope and no chance for improving your life, and your life is unbearable. If there is at least small chance (or you think there is), you should give it a shot.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

The decision is 100% up 2 u. Nobody else can answer this question or make the decision for you.

It sounds so easy to just off ourselves but we can endure so much more suffering and pain and suicide isn't an easy task.

As you have asked the question here, I would assume that you're not ready to leave.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think that feeling the obligation to stay for others is something a lot of us feel. If it's that strong, you kind of already know you won't likely be leaving anytime soon. So- I think maybe you need to focus on- what makes life so intolerable? Are there things you could do to improve matters? But, like others have said- so long as there are 'what ifs' or, hope left, I think it's worth pursuing them. CTB will usually remain as an option later if needs be.

 

[easypeasy]

Things don't seem to get better, and I am almost sure that I want to ctb, but I have a boyfriend, and I feel like I should try to live for one last time before I make my final decision for us, however I don't want to suffer again for a whole another year, it seems a lot for me and I don't seem to get to get to a decision, I am stuck between the two options... How do I even decide?

Hell yes give it one last try. Until you have exhausted every possible avenue for yourself…. Please give it all you've got. I have chronic pain and this is why I'm on this site. I don't know your reasons…..but what I wouldn't give for a body to experience life with… a boyfriend again….omg I miss that so much…. My feelings shouldn't be a reason to hold off. But…..I know for a fact that anything is possible. Try devoting time to serving others….take care of old people, or animals…or people with brain injuries… see if that helps xxxx life is really hard no matter what but a boyfriend? That sounds awesome. Xoxxo

 

[boywhowasneverloved]

Yes you should. Only ctb if u are 150% sure. If u feel like there is some hope try to make the best of it. U can always ctb. But if u ctb u cant try one more time. I wish u peace and hope u find ur way

Hell yes give it one last try. Until you have exhausted every possible avenue for yourself…. Please give it all you've got. I have chronic pain and this is why I'm on this site. I don't know your reasons…..but what I wouldn't give for a body to experience life with… a boyfriend again….omg I miss that so much…. My feelings shouldn't be a reason to hold off. But…..I know for a fact that anything is possible. Try devoting time to serving others….take care of old people, or animals…or people with brain injuries… see if that helps xxxx life is really hard no matter what but a boyfriend? That sounds awesome. Xoxxo

I think that feeling the obligation to stay for others is something a lot of us feel. If it's that strong, you kind of already know you won't likely be leaving anytime soon. So- I think maybe you need to focus on- what makes life so intolerable? Are there things you could do to improve matters? But, like others have said- so long as there are 'what ifs' or, hope left, I think it's worth pursuing them. CTB will usually remain as an option later if needs be.

The decision is 100% up 2 u. Nobody else can answer this question or make the decision for you.

It sounds so easy to just off ourselves but we can endure so much more suffering and pain and suicide isn't an easy task.

As you have asked the question here, I would assume that you're not ready to leave.

See, IDK if living and trying again is the right choice for me cause maybe things will get better or maybe they won't but I can't handle my current state of extreme misery, Idek if suffering for a potential future of happiness is worth all this suffering, and I think I have had my good days when I was a kid I have experienced what being happy feels like suffering just so I can experience what I have already doesn't seem worth it to me, and also ik I will never be satisfied, it's never enough, there is always this need for more and I think we are wired this way by natural selection to continue living and reproduce (I am homosexual idk what the hell is my evolutionary purpose). I think there is a necessasity to remove pain from one's life and I think this necessity is more important than the desire to pursue pleasure.

I don't really wanna live and I just want to get over my desire to live(yes I still have that desire but I wanna go past this desire and choose what's really good for me).

 

[Forever Sleep]

See, IDK if living and trying again is the right choice for me cause maybe things will get better or maybe they won't but I can't handle my current state of extreme misery, Idek if suffering for a potential future of happiness is worth all this suffering, and I think I have had my good days when I was a kid I have experienced what being happy feels like suffering just so I can experience what I have already doesn't seem worth it to me, and also ik I will never be satisfied, it's never enough, there is always this need for more and I think we are wired this way by natural selection to continue living and reproduce (I am homosexual idk what the hell is my evolutionary purpose). I think there is a necessasity to remove pain from one's life and I think this necessity is more important than the desire to pursue pleasure.

I don't really wanna live and I just want to get over my desire to live(yes I still have that desire but I wanna go past this desire and choose what's really good for me).

Honestly, yeah- that's pretty much where I'm at too. I basically don't think life is worth the effort! It's really that I do feel obliged/ emotionally blackmailed to stay at the moment and, I don't think I can get over that.

I suppose I feel like that's my decision made deep down so, I ought to be ready when the time comes. I still don't know whether fear of an actual attempt might hold me back though too. Does the thought of the actual practical act of it hold you back also?

 

[LostLily]

Can't hurt to try

 

[boywhowasneverloved]

Can't hurt to try

Yess It literally will hurt if I try

Honestly, yeah- that's pretty much where I'm at too. I basically don't think life is worth the effort! It's really that I do feel obliged/ emotionally blackmailed to stay at the moment and, I don't think I can get over that.

I suppose I feel like that's my decision made deep down so, I ought to be ready when the time comes. I still don't know whether fear of an actual attempt might hold me back though too. Does the thought of the actual practical act of it hold you back also?

Nahh Ik I can attempt and I have made attemptes in past, I really dont wanna live but I have to get past this evolutionary programming to continue on.

 

[CatLvr]

Well, here's another vote for waiting and giving life another try. An honest try -- the kind where you literally WORK at being happy, not the kind where you sit and wait to see what life throws at you.

I, too, have chronic pain issues like @easypeasy and there are some days that it is all I can do NOT to make an attempt. Then on my decent days I wonder how I could want to die SO much. It is a really confounding thing.

I'm really sorry you are having a rough go of it. Life can be so unfair sometimes.

 

[easypeasy]

See, IDK if living and trying again is the right choice for me cause maybe things will get better or maybe they won't but I can't handle my current state of extreme misery, Idek if suffering for a potential future of happiness is worth all this suffering, and I think I have had my good days when I was a kid I have experienced what being happy feels like suffering just so I can experience what I have already doesn't seem worth it to me, and also ik I will never be satisfied, it's never enough, there is always this need for more and I think we are wired this way by natural selection to continue living and reproduce (I am homosexual idk what the hell is my evolutionary purpose). I think there is a necessasity to remove pain from one's life and I think this necessity is more important than the desire to pursue pleasure.

I don't really wanna live and I just want to get over my desire to live(yes I still have that desire but I wanna go past this desire and choose what's really good for me).

In regard to your comment on perusing pleasure…. That isn't the meaning of life in my opinion. Spiritual and personal growth are. Pleasure in moderation is a skill.

 

[nogoodfornoone]

If there's one thing that suicidal ideation has taught me, it's that you need to be completely at the end of your ropes, and have a solid plan if you really want to do anything in life. I'm in a similar position as you, and every day I struggle between my attachment & detachment. Hope, fear & survival instinct will always override your apathy & pain. Basically, as people, we're comfort seekers. I would gather a lot of people on this site feel cornered by life, and are holding onto whatever hope there is, and painfully, we do literally have to hold on. Make yourself happy however you can, as much as you can, and exhaust the resources you're holding onto, because if you really wanted to die, you would simply see those resources as being in your way. I still see the good things I have around me as a reason, and maybe that's an illusion, but I have to live in order to die like everyone. I hope you find peace.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

to simply reply to the title, if you're asking, it's a massive yes.

we're here for you. DMs open if you wanna talk