She’s gone and I can’t keep going.

[JEXP]

These past few months, actually no. This entire year has been Hell. 2025 began so amazingly. The girl I wanna marry was beside me and everything was perfect.

It's now October 2025 and life is miserable and I wanna go. She's gone. The girl I thought I'd be with for the rest of my life is gone. She said we can't be together right now. I miss her everyday. I'm still very much in love with her. I cry everyday and every night. I pray she'll come back and I overthink about her possibly with someone else and the pain becomes unbearable.

I know it's not a good idea to depend on someone else for my happiness but oh well. She's the only person on this planet that made me smile. She made everything better. Now that she's gone, I feel like I am too. I ask God to take me away if I can't be with her. I pray I go to sleep and never wake up. I can't do this without her. I refuse. I can't take this pain. I just can't. There's no point to keep going if my person isn't by my side.

 

[mangoastronaut]

I get it. I too was suicidal after someone I loved left me. If you don't mind me asking, why did she say y'all can't be together right now? Did something happen? I wish the best for you.

 

[JEXP]

I get it. I too was suicidal after someone I loved left me. If you don't mind me asking, why did she say y'all can't be together right now? Did something happen? I wish the best for you.

Just a lot happened during our relationship and she asked for small, simple requests from me that I just couldn't deliver on. I broke a lot of promises I made to her.

 

[knowledgeseeking]

These past few months, actually no. This entire year has been Hell. 2025 began so amazingly. The girl I wanna marry was beside me and everything was perfect.

It's now October 2025 and life is miserable and I wanna go. She's gone. The girl I thought I'd be with for the rest of my life is gone. She said we can't be together right now. I miss her everyday. I'm still very much in love with her. I cry everyday and every night. I pray she'll come back and I overthink about her possibly with someone else and the pain becomes unbearable.

I know it's not a good idea to depend on someone else for my happiness but oh well. She's the only person on this planet that made me smile. She made everything better. Now that she's gone, I feel like I am too. I ask God to take me away if I can't be with her. I pray I go to sleep and never wake up. I can't do this without her. I refuse. I can't take this pain. I just can't. There's no point to keep going if my person isn't by my side.

I could have written this myself. My partner and love of my life died unexpectedly at 43 in January 2025. It has been hell without them and I want to die. I have wanted that since the moment he died. Even tried a couple of serious OD attempts that didn't work. I would like to tell you it gets easier but in my experience it hasn't. If anything the anguish has gotten worst. I'm currently working on getting everything together to go out with nitrogen using an SCBA mast. This may sound stupid, but I am planning to leave this awef world on the one year anniversary of his death. I just refuse to go through another of this.

I am not saying I would be a ray of sunshine or hope, but feel free to DM if you ever want to talk,

 

[secretsfromthecity]

These past few months, actually no. This entire year has been Hell. 2025 began so amazingly. The girl I wanna marry was beside me and everything was perfect.

It's now October 2025 and life is miserable and I wanna go. She's gone. The girl I thought I'd be with for the rest of my life is gone. She said we can't be together right now. I miss her everyday. I'm still very much in love with her. I cry everyday and every night. I pray she'll come back and I overthink about her possibly with someone else and the pain becomes unbearable.

I know it's not a good idea to depend on someone else for my happiness but oh well. She's the only person on this planet that made me smile. She made everything better. Now that she's gone, I feel like I am too. I ask God to take me away if I can't be with her. I pray I go to sleep and never wake up. I can't do this without her. I refuse. I can't take this pain. I just can't. There's no point to keep going if my person isn't by my side.

I'm still not over my ex, we broke up in Jan 2023. The only home I had felt "at home". I miss him a lot, so I understand.