I feel the same way about my ex. She still cared for me even after all the toxicity in our relationship that led both of us to become bitter. She left me not too long ago, but I miss her. I feel like I wouldn't have to be here if she were still around to alleviate my constant feelings of worthlessness.
I became so dependent on her affirmation and love. Without even noticing it. The voices that told me I wasn't enough, that I was a poison to the people around me, just faded away so slowly I never noticed. I never knew she was the reason and now all I can think about is how alone I feel, how much I deserve it, how much I hate being me.
I became so dependent on her affirmation and love. Without even noticing it. The voices that told me I wasn't enough, that I was a poison to the people around me, just faded away so slowly I never noticed. I never knew she was the reason and now all I can think about is how alone I feel, how much I deserve it, how much I hate being me.
And it doesn't help, in some ways it's worse then if we just left angry. She told me she still loved me, that she still cared and now I don't hear her, I don't see her, I don't have that love and care anymore. It's just me, and my hate for myself. While she does what!? Move on!? Be happy!? I'm so happy for her, but I hurt so much.
