kittyangelwings
Member
- Nov 14, 2025
- 21
honestly don't know what to do. I feel so bad, but I'm just so tired of dealing with these feelings all by myself.
My biggest problem is the scars from the self-harm. On my arms, my legs... they are everywhere. It's as if all my mistakes, all those obsessive, controlling moments, have been etched into my skin. Because of these marks, I have to wear long sleeves even in summer; even a moment of relief is forbidden to me.
I am terrified that someone will see these scars and judge me. And the worst happened: My mother saw them. She saw them all. she just got incredibly upset and she cried. Seeing her tears because of me because of how broken I am is a deeper pain than any cut. I feel such intense shame and guilt, knowing that I am the source of her sorrow and disappointment. These scars aren't just physical pain; they are a constant reminder of how I failed her.
I don't want to live with this burden anymore. I'm exhausted both from hiding the marks and from being unable to stop the storm inside me. Does anyone truly believe this pain can end? Has anyone escaped this cycle, this shame? Please tell me something, anything. I don't know what to do.
My biggest problem is the scars from the self-harm. On my arms, my legs... they are everywhere. It's as if all my mistakes, all those obsessive, controlling moments, have been etched into my skin. Because of these marks, I have to wear long sleeves even in summer; even a moment of relief is forbidden to me.
I am terrified that someone will see these scars and judge me. And the worst happened: My mother saw them. She saw them all. she just got incredibly upset and she cried. Seeing her tears because of me because of how broken I am is a deeper pain than any cut. I feel such intense shame and guilt, knowing that I am the source of her sorrow and disappointment. These scars aren't just physical pain; they are a constant reminder of how I failed her.
I don't want to live with this burden anymore. I'm exhausted both from hiding the marks and from being unable to stop the storm inside me. Does anyone truly believe this pain can end? Has anyone escaped this cycle, this shame? Please tell me something, anything. I don't know what to do.
