Discussion SH while being in a relationship

[hellworldprincess]

To clarify, by "relationship" I'm talking about someone who regularly sees you naked.

I was wondering what your experience is with SH that leaves visible scars that you can't hide from everybody else.
Specifically people you are in an intimate relationship with.
Are you having arguments about it?
Does your partner also SH?
Do they maybe even like you doing it?

I personally cut on my thighs so no one else is able to see anything.
But my partner sees it, obviously.
They themselves have a history, so they're definitely understanding and don't get angry or anything like that.

However, still everytime I cut, I feel bad afterwards because my partner is going to notice.
I still do it because in the moment and also afterwards I nonetheless feel better than before.

But the thought was bugging me, so I'd like to hear about some of your experiences.

 

[etchings]

I have struggled on and off with self harm for just a few years short of a decade now. I have been in a handful of relationships as well, some purely sexual. As someone who has participated in hookup culture I got used to being sexualized or having certain parts of me be sexualized. That included my scars and/or the idea of me hurting myself for the other person's enjoyment. I detached myself from that, it did not bother me as much as it honestly should have.
I'm now in a long term committed relationship with someone who has also had touch-and-go moments with self harm. I have never felt bad about them seeing my scars, fresh or old, only because they have come to be an intrinsic part of who I am and a representation of my ongoing story. They don't make me feel bad about it, and we aren't the type of people to get triggered by seeing it on one another.
With all of that said, my advice to you: an unhealthy coping mechanism is still a coping mechanism. Be proud that you are still going. The only opinion of you that matters is yours.
Wishing you peace and tranquility.

 

[hellworldprincess]

I'm now in a long term committed relationship with someone who has also had touch-and-go moments with self harm. I have never felt bad about them seeing my scars, fresh or old, only because they have come to be an intrinsic part of who I am and a representation of my ongoing story. They don't make me feel bad about it, and we aren't the type of people to get triggered by seeing it on one another.

I'm happy for you and I relate a lot to what you said.
My partner is also really chill regarding that.
I just needed to hear that rn, because sometimes I just feel bad about it for no apparent reason.

Thank you for sharing your story and opinion.

 

[Homulily]

My partner knows I SH and is understanding. They helped me get access to stuff to safely SH.

We've cut eachother before too.