SH not valid

[aitouka]

Fuck it.
I SH pretty often, though just cat scratches because I cannot afford to let other people see them, especially when I really can't wear clothing with high coverage as it is really hot here.
And they feel so invalid, like I see people hitting deeper and deeper and mine couldn't even be called SH, my cat scratches are a sign that I'm fine and I don't actually need attention.
Even my two cats produce deeper cuts on me than myself. This just makes me want to CTB more and my headache is worsening.

 

[Valky]

I 100% get what you mean, I also felt the need to prove to myself that I am indeed sick and not just lazy or not trying hard enough. It is incredibly hurtful and invalidating.

There is no ,sicker'. You don't need to have it worse to be allowed to feel bad. Your feelings are valid and I see your pain.

 

[lostintheloop]

The physical severity of SH doesn't represent the emotional severity. When I'm feeling worse, I actually have less motivation to cut deeper. I know it's hard not to compare with others. But regardless if you're in so much pain that you feel the need to harm yourself to deal with it, that suggests you're in a lot of pain. It's a sign that you're really struggling, that you need and deserve some support. By definition, SH is causing any harm to yourself intentionally. It does not need to leave a scar or even a mark to meet that definition,

 

[bunsïy]

Thisss. I often don't mention to anyone that I SH (not that I would anyways) but because I don't feel like my tiny cuts would even count. I feel embarrassed and often ashamed when looking at them. I just try to remind myself of why I sh and that it's more the feeling of doing it that I need rather then the amount of damage I cause if that makes sense.

 

[alonely]

For me it's about feeling the physical pain. Depth doesn't matter, you don't need to go that deep to feel it. SH isn't a competition, it's completely personal experience.

 

[aitouka]

I 100% get what you mean, I also felt the need to prove to myself that I am indeed sick and not just lazy or not trying hard enough. It is incredibly hurtful and invalidating.

There is no ,sicker'. You don't need to have it worse to be allowed to feel bad. Your feelings are valid and I see your pain.

Yeah, a lot of times SH feels like an excuse for not doing anything, yet my cuts aren't even deep. I hate this making me illogical.

The physical severity of SH doesn't represent the emotional severity. When I'm feeling worse, I actually have less motivation to cut deeper. I know it's hard not to compare with others. But regardless if you're in so much pain that you feel the need to harm yourself to deal with it, that suggests you're in a lot of pain. It's a sign that you're really struggling, that you need and deserve some support. By definition, SH is causing any harm to yourself intentionally. It does not need to leave a scar or even a mark to meet that definition,

Having less motivation to cut deeper is interesting, I must admit. A lot of times I get lazy to cut as well because I simply couldn't get up to do anything. Don't know which is better.
Around me SH is already so common that it couldn't even qualify as a sign of struggle.

Thisss. I often don't mention to anyone that I SH (not that I would anyways) but because I don't feel like my tiny cuts would even count. I feel embarrassed and often ashamed when looking at them. I just try to remind myself of why I sh and that it's more the feeling of doing it that I need rather than the amount of damage I cause if that makes sense.

I'm the exact same as you! I feel like everyone would just look at my cat scratches and say, 'Yeah they aren't even struggling, just doing this for attention, look at how light they are and how they fade so quickly.'

For me it's about feeling the physical pain. Depth doesn't matter, you don't need to go that deep to feel it. SH isn't a competition, it's completely personal experience.

It's funny because I'm not sure what I SH for, but definitely not physical pain. I have a pretty high pain tolerance and pain isn't really what I focus on, but again I have no idea why I do it. Attention? Hiding it but somehow passively wishing that people would notice? Simply for fun? But that sounds deranged. I feel useless a lot of times because I don't even know what I SH for.

 

[alonely]

It's funny because I'm not sure what I SH for, but definitely not physical pain. I have a pretty high pain tolerance and pain isn't really what I focus on, but again I have no idea why I do it. Attention? Hiding it but somehow passively wishing that people would notice? Simply for fun? But that sounds deranged. I feel useless a lot of times because I don't even know what I SH for.

certainly fair to not know why. not exactly the same scenario, but your reply reminds me of this situation: when I was younger, nobody believed me that my parents were extremely mentally/emotionally abusive. i used to wish they would physically hurt me so that I had the physical injuries to prove to people that I was being abused.

i could definitely understand the case of SH so that others would notice and believe the extent of mental struggles.

 

[lostintheloop]

Yeah, a lot of times SH feels like an excuse for not doing anything, yet my cuts aren't even deep. I hate this making me illogical.

Having less motivation to cut deeper is interesting, I must admit. A lot of times I get lazy to cut as well because I simply couldn't get up to do anything. Don't know which is better.
Around me SH is already so common that it couldn't even qualify as a sign of struggle.

I'm the exact same as you! I feel like everyone would just look at my cat scratches and say, 'Yeah they aren't even struggling, just doing this for attention, look at how light they are and how they fade so quickly.'

It's funny because I'm not sure what I SH for, but definitely not physical pain. I have a pretty high pain tolerance and pain isn't really what I focus on, but again I have no idea why I do it. Attention? Hiding it but somehow passively wishing that people would notice? Simply for fun? But that sounds deranged. I feel useless a lot of times because I don't even know what I SH for.

Just because it's common doesn't mean it's not a sign of struggling. People don't SH for no reason, there's usually something going on. doesn't always have to be a clear trigger everytime you do it, but generally if you start doing it regularly then there's something you're trying to cope with.

It's completely understandable to not know your reason though. Sometimes I know why I'm doing it, but didn't when I first started, but other times I get the urge to for no reason. Like I'll be feeling relatively okay and just feel like i 'have' to. Some people do it out of boredom, habit or for the euphoria, it's more common than you'd think to enjoy it . It's not deranged. I think others always view it as a 'stress release' but it's not that simple, there's many complicated reasons people do it. For some it's like an addiction, maybe at first it's a last resort when things are really bad but before you know it you're doing it for no apparent reason because you need that 'fix'.