Why not? Never been in a relationship and can never hope to be. I'm done with love and soul mates and twin flame nonsense. I did fall for someone and never thought I could even feel that way about anyone or anything...but I did. But knowing the depths I sink to and how bad things can get, I can offer nothing longterm. I have no future and I know she's better off without me. So anyway, why not go out with a bang...with a bang lol. Screw each other's lights out. Become each other's "soul mates" for the night yada yada yada.
I actually kind of like the idea of being upfront about the finality/severity of the situation. I feel so much of my energy goes into putting up a front and pretending everything's alright to the point of being incapable of initiating anything intimate (I'm depressed, anxious, no confidence, hate myself, see no future etc). But I like THIS idea. There seems to be a calming, relaxing sense of freedom. Can actually be honest for once. I'm sure the experience would still be awkward as shit lol, but hopefully overall a good, pleasurable one. A worry I have is after the deed is done, the desire to CTB would be replaced with, "hmm, that wasn't so bad. Let's try this again next week." And then the week after that. And then the week after that. And then the week after that! With CTB constantly being delayed. And before you know it, it's evolved into some kind of weirdo, depraved relationship with a false belief of an actual future! Yikes! lol. Don't want that.
I guess both parties would have to agree into there not being a future and although CTB could be pushed back for some more shag time, it should be an inevitability and required.
It's kinda cool. In some animals, like some spiders and salmon, death is an inevitability of procreation; one or both of the parties dies after the deed is done. So there ya have it, nature ain't exactly right in the head either lol
