Venting Sense

[Eyler]

Sense is something I can be hopeful to still be intact with as the days go by. Maybe I've gone insane, maybe I have already loss the sense of everything because I can't be me. I can't think. I can't do anything without thoughts of harming either myself or someone. Its killing me, its burning me so bad.

My head hurts from everything and nothing at once, sometimes I don't even know who I am, just another identity to pass as. I'm so energetic yet to exhausted both mentally physically I can't tell what my body wants.

My body is weird, its indecisive. One thing it can be overly expressive and dramatic to another being barely to comprehend if its just a statue in the first place.

I.. don't know whats wrong anymore. I don't know what I'm being hopeful about. I don't know why I lie to myself, don't know why I indulge in the media and reality as both are cutting me one by one.

I think I lost it or at least I realized that I was someone who had already screws off in this head of mine.

Being really mentally ill sucks because I'm both aware and I'm not. Doctors call me complicated. Its not my fault in the first place I just turned like this.

Suddenly they say I have MDD, next they think I could have bpd, next thing I know they think I can have both autism, adhd and aspd? Holy christ someone just say what is wrong with me already. What do I have??? What is wrong with me???? Can you just finally agree on one thing?

or what am I really just done for if Its really true all of that???????
I'm seriously going insane because I can't even talk normally or say the truth without me spitting nonsense all the sudden when in front of the doctors and now I just sound stupid.

 

[Wolf Girl]

I know late autism diagnosis is trendy right now, but as a woman with autism, this sounds like how I would describe some aspects of "autism burnout," which is basically where you've been struggling to function as highly as possible to mask as "normal" in society and it catches up to you and your functioning goes to shit. Like for me, I now need a visual chart for showering and brushing teeth, etc.

 

[Eyler]

I know late autism diagnosis is trendy right now, but as a woman with autism, this sounds like how I would describe some aspects of "autism burnout," which is basically where you've been struggling to function as highly as possible to mask as "normal" in society and it catches up to you and your functioning goes to shit. Like for me, I now need a visual chart for showering and brushing teeth, etc.

Thanks for letting me know, I was honestly in denial in the first place of me having autism actually.. din't want people thinking that I'm trying to be one of those people who are doing trends and all which is stupid because why are we making mentally issues or disabilities to trends? Absolutely absurd.

I can somewhat agree that does seem to fit my description, I have a lot of issues doing things normally and its just.. all messy in any case.