BitterlyAlive
---
- Apr 8, 2020
- 1,634
Hey guys. I've been doing a lot of thinking since yesterday and want to share my thoughts. Feel free to share your own thoughts, opinions, experiences.
Yesterday in therapy was horrible. I think what bothered me the most was being told that I can picture a future, I just choose not to. Being told that implied so many things. I hate the casual usage of this term, but I felt like I was being gaslighted. I wasn't sharing my thoughts as an excuse, it has been my perception since I was a child. Being told I choose not to imagine a future implies that I'm being lazy, making excuses, playing the victim. The response was rather mean and, as others pointed out on here, shows a real lack of empathy from the therapist.
After realizing what had bothered me the most, I turned to the Internet. Someone described this experience as a "sense of foreshortened future". They said it is common with trauma survivors. It blew my mind, I had never heard of this term before. I looked it up and found that this is an actual symptom of PTSD, according to the DSM-IV. Another source also attributed this phenomenon to depression, which makes sense. I have seen many other people with depression say that they struggle to imagine any sort of future, that it seems like they are not capable of doing so.
Realizing that this is an actual thing and not just in my head, a personal shortcoming, was insane. It's not my fault. I'm not a bad person because I have struggled with this for so long. It's a symptom of mental illness, and the impact that it has (especially if one has suffered from it for years), is devastating. Many other people seem to feel suicidal because of this sense of foreshortened future. How can you have any sort of hope, motivation, or belonging? Everything seems pointless, futile.
Furthermore, one source I looked at described this as a form of dissociation. A trauma response. If this is indeed a trauma response, and it seems to be the case since it was described as a symptom of PTSD in the DSM-IV, why do therapists seem to be unaware of this phenomenon? Why is the patient being blamed, even shamed, for something out of their control?
It's wonderful that the person who mentioned this was able to learn about it from their therapist. It's sad that others have to learn about this from the internet. I understand, based on my readings and personal experiences, that many therapists claim to be trauma-informed but are not. I understand that therapists are only human, but this lack of knowledge can be damaging.
Ramblings aside, I wanted to share the phenomenon of a "sense of foreshortened future" with you guys. I wonder if this is a huge reason I have felt suicidal since I was a child. Maybe sharing this can help someone else on here.
I think I've said enough. Always willing to hear what others have to say, so please don't hesitate to share your thoughts. And mods, if this is posted in the wrong forum, please have it moved.
Yesterday in therapy was horrible. I think what bothered me the most was being told that I can picture a future, I just choose not to. Being told that implied so many things. I hate the casual usage of this term, but I felt like I was being gaslighted. I wasn't sharing my thoughts as an excuse, it has been my perception since I was a child. Being told I choose not to imagine a future implies that I'm being lazy, making excuses, playing the victim. The response was rather mean and, as others pointed out on here, shows a real lack of empathy from the therapist.
After realizing what had bothered me the most, I turned to the Internet. Someone described this experience as a "sense of foreshortened future". They said it is common with trauma survivors. It blew my mind, I had never heard of this term before. I looked it up and found that this is an actual symptom of PTSD, according to the DSM-IV. Another source also attributed this phenomenon to depression, which makes sense. I have seen many other people with depression say that they struggle to imagine any sort of future, that it seems like they are not capable of doing so.
Realizing that this is an actual thing and not just in my head, a personal shortcoming, was insane. It's not my fault. I'm not a bad person because I have struggled with this for so long. It's a symptom of mental illness, and the impact that it has (especially if one has suffered from it for years), is devastating. Many other people seem to feel suicidal because of this sense of foreshortened future. How can you have any sort of hope, motivation, or belonging? Everything seems pointless, futile.
Furthermore, one source I looked at described this as a form of dissociation. A trauma response. If this is indeed a trauma response, and it seems to be the case since it was described as a symptom of PTSD in the DSM-IV, why do therapists seem to be unaware of this phenomenon? Why is the patient being blamed, even shamed, for something out of their control?
It's wonderful that the person who mentioned this was able to learn about it from their therapist. It's sad that others have to learn about this from the internet. I understand, based on my readings and personal experiences, that many therapists claim to be trauma-informed but are not. I understand that therapists are only human, but this lack of knowledge can be damaging.
Ramblings aside, I wanted to share the phenomenon of a "sense of foreshortened future" with you guys. I wonder if this is a huge reason I have felt suicidal since I was a child. Maybe sharing this can help someone else on here.
I think I've said enough. Always willing to hear what others have to say, so please don't hesitate to share your thoughts. And mods, if this is posted in the wrong forum, please have it moved.
