Venting Self imposed death sentence

[nosoul]

I'm so down all, I've ruined my and my families lives, dreading everyday but a loving father wants me to fight. But I destroyed myself.

Ctb feels my only option, but I'd be going out at the bottom. Gathering supplies but I'm definitely afraid.

If I do it I almost deserve to burn in hell I feel, but hope there is something after this.

I'm already dying and it sucks, just getting drug induced sleep, just a few hours a night and zero naps, I'm doomed:(

 

[Azora]

Sorry you're feeling bad. How did you ruin your life?

 

[nosoul]

Sorry you're feeling bad. How did you ruin your life?

Financially I gave up a great career to pursue music and drugs, now I can't sleep unless on pills and have no natural appetite. Whether I ctb or not I think I'm dead soon not being able to rest. Fatal insomnia is how it feels coupled with a declining appetite. Want to ctb to end the decline

 

[Riu]

I'm here with you, bro.

 

[outrider567]

Financially I gave up a great career to pursue music and drugs, now I can't sleep unless on pills and have no natural appetite. Whether I ctb or not I think I'm dead soon not being able to rest. Fatal insomnia is how it feels coupled with a declining appetite. Want to ctb to end the decline

Sorry to hear that--I once got little sleep over a ten day period, it was hell--When you're awake 23 hours a day, those are really long days

 

[nosoul]

Sorry to hear that--I once got little sleep over a ten day period, it was hell--When you're awake 23 hours a day, those are really long days

I'll take some klonopin trazadone which seems to do nothing, sleep 3 to 5 hours,then I am up literally the entire rest of day. Been like this a month, leading into it 4 hours a day. Leasing into it, I was 4 days no sleep.

Not just insomnia, but I have no natural appetite. I've been barely able to eat.

I'm in a real life horror movie. Gathering supplies, I'm scared but I think ctb is my only hope.

I brush my teeth at night but hygiene is tough, my brain is dying I really starting to suffer basic awareness. Also feel no emotion.

Omg I'm done for, I wake after drug sleep and no appetite

 

[outrider567]

I'll take some klonopin trazadone which seems to do nothing, sleep 3 to 5 hours,then I am up literally the entire rest of day. Been like this a month, leading into it 4 hours a day. Leasing into it, I was 4 days no sleep.

Not just insomnia, but I have no natural appetite. I've been barely able to eat.

I'm in a real life horror movie. Gathering supplies, I'm scared but I think ctb is my only hope.

I brush my teeth at night but hygiene is tough, my brain is dying I really starting to suffer basic awareness. Also feel no emotion.

Omg I'm done for, I wake after drug sleep and no appetite

Same thing happened to me--Despite being up all the time I had no appetite, and lost 10 pounds in 10 days--Sonata didn't help me sleep and that's strong stuff

 

[nosoul]

Sorry to hear that--I once got little sleep over a ten day period, it was hell--When you're awake 23 hours a day, those are really long days

It's been 1 month, can't sleep hardly Shower just change clothes and use body spray, the end is near, I have Noone to vent to, I hate that noone believes me, my doctor said oh the meds will help you sleep.

Will SN work? I can't have it fail but can't go on like this, life is so unreal

I need to make final arrangements, I can barely walk dogs.

They will put me in a mental hospital, death is preferable to that.

 

[outrider567]

It's been 1 month, can't sleep hardly Shower just change clothes and use body spray, the end is near, I have Noone to vent to, I hate that noone believes me, my doctor said oh the meds will help you sleep.

Will SN work? I can't have it fail but can't go on like this, life is so unreal

I need to make final arrangements, I can barely walk dogs.

They will put me in a mental hospital, death is preferable to that.

Jogging helped me get over something traumatic ten years ago

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds really exhausting and horrible what you have to endure, but anyway I wish you the best. It's awful how so much endless suffering exists here in this world.