Venting Self harm

[xonnia]

so tonight i self harmed again... not exactly new but the box cutter i've been using got a new blad.. tonight was the first night i watched a puddle of my own blood form on the floor... it was beautiful to see my life leak out like that... it wasn't enough to end it, but the most i've seen in a long time. I've since bandaged my self (though i'll have a scar cause its obvious it needs stichest to heal heal..but oh well). Maybe its the whiskey but i was amazing.. the brief moment of pain as i clutched my upper leg, then seeing it drip to the floor and then seeing a pool of my own blood... I don't do slow cuts but fast quick slashes. I'm so fucked up mentally......

 

[Schopenhauer]

I never understood the allure of self-harm. Is it something that you feel compelled to do, or did you try it first and found it relaxing?

 

[Retched]

so tonight i self harmed again... not exactly new but the box cutter i've been using got a new blad.. tonight was the first night i watched a puddle of my own blood form on the floor... it was beautiful to see my life leak out like that... it wasn't enough to end it, but the most i've seen in a long time. I've since bandaged my self (though i'll have a scar cause its obvious it needs stichest to heal heal..but oh well). Maybe its the whiskey but i was amazing.. the brief moment of pain as i clutched my upper leg, then seeing it drip to the floor and then seeing a pool of my own blood... I don't do slow cuts but fast quick slashes. I'm so fucked up mentally......

I understand. Different methods, but I totally get it.

 

[Nanimoaru]

I etched the words "not good enough" and "unlovable" in my left arms....it was comforting bleeding and them laughing about how shitty my hand writing is.....first time I laughed and meant it in a while

 

[Fucking loving it]

I love self harm. I use blades. I love hitting myself with a hammer all over my bodym

 

[bunny]

I never understood the allure of self-harm. Is it something that you feel compelled to do, or did you try it first and found it relaxing?

i know for me, it was something i felt compelled to do. when i found out what it gave me, that pulled me into doing it more and more. it is very addicting

 

[Clover_]

I never understood the allure of self-harm. Is it something that you feel compelled to do, or did you try it first and found it relaxing?

There are lots of reasons to do it. Some do it for the relief brought on by the endorphin release associated with the pain, similar to a runner's high; others do it to make the inside match the outside; others to feel something, anything; and some simply believe they deserve to suffer. Usually it's a combination of reasons, and once you start it's addictive and hard to stop. For most of us even when we haven't self harmed in years it's barely ever far from our minds.

 

[willowtrees0]

I like the feeling to. I first did it when I was young at 13 when my dad passed. It was just a way to express myself. I didnt know how to cope with loss at that point and my dads death was kind of sudden and something i didnt understand. I self harmed again tho when I was around 19-20 and I did it because I felt numb. I was so frustrated with life and wanted something I had control over. I guess in a way it was also to express my feelings that I couldnt understand. I dont do it anymore just because I cant hide it but like said above it does become a addicting feeling and I find it hard to fight a lot of times.

 

[AndyCurious]

Only way I'm going to "self harm" is when I'm hung from a beam or a tree, hopefully 5 or 6 ft off the ground...

 

[xonnia]

I never understood the allure of self-harm. Is it something that you feel compelled to do, or did you try it first and found it relaxing?

I sorta found it by accident i guess? I was on various military exhibition drill teams and often got hurt learning moves, i started to find the pain relaxing and helped cover the emotional pain.. Since then it stays as a control and release, there is something about it, and something watching blood run from a cut. I actually thought i was over it till the past month hit.

 

[xonnia]

I love self harm. I use blades. I love hitting myself with a hammer all over my bodym

i've punched a few doors/walls and myself but never with a hammer. i tend use blades, the only rule i have is to never use a blade that was a gift. I don't want the person that gave it to me to ever feel bad. curious if you do the slow cuts or fast slashes if you dont mind me asking..

 

[Fucking loving it]

i've punched a few doors/walls and myself but never with a hammer. i tend use blades, the only rule i have is to never use a blade that was a gift. I don't want the person that gave it to me to ever feel bad. curious if you do the slow cuts or fast slashes if you dont mind me asking..

Depends on the mood

 

[xonnia]

Depends on the mood

interesting i admit I've never done it slow, tried but eh idk prefere the slash method.

 

[Fucking loving it]

interesting i admit I've never done it slow, tried but eh idk prefere the slash method.

Slow can be good too

 

[Schopenhauer]

I'll keep this information in mind for the bad days. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

 

[xonnia]

Slow can be good too

don't doubt it.. idk why i could never do it, i've tried. maybe i should use a razor blade vs knife. Or the new box cutter blad.

I'm actually keeping my leg under wraps right now. I know if i take it off i'll cut...I Feel the urge but have to be careful at the same time ..

 

[Rocky M]

I'm in the middle of a self harm relapse, I'm up to cutting myself nearly 5 times a day (it's just a coping Mechanism for me). A certain someone in my life is doing what they think will help me stop. It won't work. Self harm is addictive. You never truly stop. I've been on and off for almost 6 years and I see no signs of stopping any time soon

 

[Clover_]

I use disposable scalpels, they cut cleanly and it's easy to cut deep. Sometimes I go fast when I want to do more damage and see more blood, other times I go slow to feel the pain more.

 

[Lara Francis]

Only way I'm going to "self harm" is when I'm hung from a beam or a tree, hopefully 5 or 6 ft off the ground...

There ultimate self harm experience we all crave is death.

 

[AndyCurious]

There ultimate self harm experience we all crave is death.

That is so true