Self - harm, what did I do wrong?

[AnonymouslyBlue]

(TRIGGER WARNING: if self-harm is a sensitive subject then please do not read. Sorry in advance if I upset anyone)

I hurt myself last night, it was the first time doing it on my wrist and I know that I will probably get a lot of backlash for doing so but I didn't do it with the intention of CTB. I have an addiction to self-harming and when I do I blackout, it's like I can't see straight or even think when I am doing it so when I did it on my wrist I wasn't even aware of what I was actually doing until it was over. My intention was to harm, not to kill. (That is probably a lot worse). To be honest, it didn't hurt like I had thought it would or read about and the blood came out a lot thicker than I originally thought it would. I didn't cut near the pulse or veins, just a flesh wound that was pretty deep.

Afterwards, I got a cramp in my hand, and my the joints in my fingers grew sore and achy. Is that a result of what I did? Or is it a psychological thing because tonight I did it again, over the ones from the previous night and a bit closer to the pulse (I don't know the actual term for the area) and again my hand got achy and sore and I had some struggle opening and closing my palm compared to that of my left one. The blood came out a lot quicker but thickened pretty soon afterwards.

Have I done some damage that I am unaware of? I don't want to go to the doctor because I know for sure I will be put under surveillance and kept at a clinic. But I do want to know if I have done something wrong (besides self-harming on my wrist).

Please can someone tell me what is going on, if it's just a mental thing or if I should consider telling someone who can help me?

 

[Onomotopoeia]

See a doctor. Tell them you were self harming and think you went deeper than your intent. It is your best bet to stay out of psych ward. Nobody but you can know how deep this was or how thick your blood was but it could be a clotting issue which is more likely to bring on unpleasant symptoms than death. I'm no Dr. Though and I do not play one on tv either.

You may have done some damage, or the thick blood may be an indication of a previously existing medical condition. You probably should not ignore it. A wrist cut might be a hard sell for self harm if it really was that deep but probably best to ask a real doctor, even if you can just find one online and as "hypothetically"

Best of luck

 

[CuddleHug]

I do not have medical knowledge, but from my own observations, cuts on my forearms bleed a lot more than upper arms or thighs. First time I tried there, I was quite surprised myself. Pain wise also less than other places I think.

As for your experience with pain in your hand and opening/closing it, that's nothing I have had. I never cut very deep on my forearms, though. It sounds kind of bad, so you should probably consider seeing a doctor. For me it always worked to tell them my mental health team know I self-harm and that I only cut to cope with anxiety, so there is no need to section me. Never got in trouble for that, not even when I had to get 10 stitches (woops).

Hope you're okay. Hugs~

 

[crazy1]

I've never had that happen with my hand so could be something wrong, I'd go see a doctor. They shouldn't keep you in just for self harm if they don't think your a significant risk to yourself, but obviously I don't know your history and all that. It might be nothing but the last thing you want is a hand that doesn't work properly because you didn't get help. I hope your okay, hugs from over here.

 

[TJuk]

When I cut too deep I once hit nerves which resulted in struggling to use my hand. I was close to tendons as well but that was closer to my wrist