Venting Self destructing, motivation, looking for advice on health!

[wannago]

I'm so tired of living in a loop, where I seem to move one step forward, then two steps back. Weeks/months/years of being too mentally exhausted to do anything which just adds to the plans and attempts.

I'm confident in my method of choice, now all that's left is the money, as well as being in a state that I feel happy leaving with. I pray for a miracle of finding funds somewhere without having to sell my possessions.

My biggest struggle throughout life has been in motivation, mostly. I've gone out like one time in these past 3 weeks, and I'm not happy with anything as it is. I'm not getting work done either because my mind says what's the point?

I just want to be happy with myself by the time I CTB. That's the ideal scenario IMO. I want to be fitter again, and be in a position of knowing that if my attempt backfires, I won't have to panic about everything collapsing around me, and my friends backing completely away.

I like the thought of being found after my email is received, by people who could see me as somebody. So I'm tempted to start working out religiously again, and getting on top of work - for me to feel like something more again. But you know how it is taking the first steps towards that - it seems impossible to me right now.

When should I begin with work/workouts? Should I start a routine? How? If anybody has any tips/routines they'd be able to share with me, I'd be super grateful. It might even be cool to log my progress while I'm around. Ages ago I had friends who were consistently on my back about working out, and, while it stressed me out, it was nice to have stuff going for me. I've lost those friends now, and I need to know what to do to see a redeeming impact in myself, both mentally and physically.

 

[WornOutLife]

My best advice is: go from baby steps to giant strides.

At least that worked for me. I suffer from bipolar disorder and one day I feel a "God" and the following one I was the biggest loser on Earth.
However, after being persistent, I started having 2 days in a row, then 3, then 4... and now I feel good and full of energy most of the weeks although I do still have some ups and downs.

Anyway, hope you can feel better soon. You can do it if you really want to!

 

[notreallynow]

OK so
What worked for me personally - I downloaded an app thingy. You can use also videos and stuff.
The key bit was
1. MUSIC
2. Start with like, 5 minutes. Mine has the lowest setting at like 4 minutes.
Do the very littlest setting every day. Like on your bed if you have to.
If you still feel it, after 5 minutes. DO maybe another 5 minutes one. Or 10 minutes. This way, I end up doing at least 30 minutes a day, and trickier stuff.. the thing is I never look at it that way. If I think I have to do 50 minutes I just go, FUCK NO, but if I start with 5, I can reach a point where my entire body is trembling and I DON'T WANT TO STOP.
There is what I call a ridge.. I can't tell you when exactly it comes, it depends on your body and what you are doing, when you feel utterly exhausted and you just want the timer to END. If you can reach that bit every time, just reach that bit, hold it for a few seconds, and stop, then that's fantastic. But on some days you will be able to push on just a bit more, and then you push past it, and you have this state where you feel amazing and like you never want to stop... until you reach the second peak and you really can't do anymore. Once you hit that just once, you'll feel a lot more excited about working out and confident in what you can do. But just start with the 5 minutes 'trick' for now, is my advice. And if you don't feel like doing anymore after the 5 mins, then you've still hit your goal- your muscles will be very grateful to you for moving them a little

 

[wannago]

OK so
What worked for me personally - I downloaded an app thingy. You can use also videos and stuff.
The key bit was
1. MUSIC
2. Start with like, 5 minutes. Mine has the lowest setting at like 4 minutes.
Do the very littlest setting every day. Like on your bed if you have to.
If you still feel it, after 5 minutes. DO maybe another 5 minutes one. Or 10 minutes. This way, I end up doing at least 30 minutes a day, and trickier stuff.. the thing is I never look at it that way. If I think I have to do 50 minutes I just go, FUCK NO, but if I start with 5, I can reach a point where my entire body is trembling and I DON'T WANT TO STOP.
There is what I call a ridge.. I can't tell you when exactly it comes, it depends on your body and what you are doing, when you feel utterly exhausted and you just want the timer to END. If you can reach that bit every time, just reach that bit, hold it for a few seconds, and stop, then that's fantastic. But on some days you will be able to push on just a bit more, and then you push past it, and you have this state where you feel amazing and like you never want to stop... until you reach the second peak and you really can't do anymore. Once you hit that just once, you'll feel a lot more excited about working out and confident in what you can do. But just start with the 5 minutes 'trick' for now, is my advice. And if you don't feel like doing anymore after the 5 mins, then you've still hit your goal- your muscles will be very grateful to you for moving them a little

Sounds great! Mind passing on the app name of the one you use?

 

[notreallynow]

Sounds great! Mind passing on the app name of the one you use?

Sure! I use Down Dog, which has a yoga, barre, and a HIIT.. mostly do barre and yoga. It is free til 1st July if you have an .ac email (doesn't have to be current or active) but also, if you are unemployed, on disability or can't afford you can send them an email explaining and they can gift you a free subscription. It's a little link on the purchase page that says 'can't afford down dog'.
There are videos as well, I'll ask my roommate cause I know she mostly uses those

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Took very little effort for me to get my body feeling strong and relaxed. Diamond push-ups, lunges and plank. Eat what you think is healthy, daily walk outside, all of the complicated stuff that you need nine years of college to understand and get paid seven figures to tell people.

 

[wannago]

Sure! I use Down Dog, which has a yoga, barre, and a HIIT.. mostly do barre and yoga. It is free til 1st July if you have an .ac email (doesn't have to be current or active) but also, if you are unemployed, on disability or can't afford you can send them an email explaining and they can gift you a free subscription. It's a little link on the purchase page that says 'can't afford down dog'.
There are videos as well, I'll ask my roommate cause I know she mostly uses those

Sounds great! I'm on it. Let me know, I'm intrigued

 

[notreallynow]

This is the one my friend likes: https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene

Barre | Down Dog

Down Dog provides a studio-like yoga experience in the comfort of your home.

barre.downdogapp.com

the app. I dunno what your financial situation is like - its 4 quid a month, 30 per year. Not too bad. But then, if you are a student/ teacher can get free til July. And if unemployed/ on disability/ struggling you can click on the link that says 'can't afford down dog' - It doesn;t show up til you make an account. Then you can describe why you need it and they'll give you a free year. So there's a lot of options pricewise.