Livingvsdying25
Enlightened
- Dec 8, 2019
- 1,188
I am currently (and have been for a few years now) trying to get rid of the institutionalized aspects of my mental health care.
So in that process, I am having to redefine what self-care is for myself. I feel like I used to put myself through painful experiences in the name of self-care. Put me through common suggestions or pressure to be a certain way when being a person with mental health issues and such.
My version of self-care is for me.
Yesterday I feel like I practiced some of that. I struggle with eating disorders and trauma-related stress drinking etc. BUTTTT I find joy in food and alcohol still.
Also, yesterday I went to the liquor store and I haven't been in months!!!! I got some of my fav things to drink and some edibles yesterday. I also ordered some of my fav foods.
It was nice tbh. I enjoy drinking tasty coolers. I enjoy so many things that I've forgotten while living here. I am going to remember. I am going to do things I enjoy.
Being in a pandemic and in a residential treatment is hard. I am having people constantly comment and try to define what recovery looks like.
Sometimes our versions of self-care are controversial. All that matters for me especially are feeling joy. I have been deprived of joy all my life and that is the biggest thing I'm reclaiming for myself.
I will not allow anyone to define what my progress/effort/recovery looks like anymore.
So in that process, I am having to redefine what self-care is for myself. I feel like I used to put myself through painful experiences in the name of self-care. Put me through common suggestions or pressure to be a certain way when being a person with mental health issues and such.
My version of self-care is for me.
Yesterday I feel like I practiced some of that. I struggle with eating disorders and trauma-related stress drinking etc. BUTTTT I find joy in food and alcohol still.
Also, yesterday I went to the liquor store and I haven't been in months!!!! I got some of my fav things to drink and some edibles yesterday. I also ordered some of my fav foods.
It was nice tbh. I enjoy drinking tasty coolers. I enjoy so many things that I've forgotten while living here. I am going to remember. I am going to do things I enjoy.
Being in a pandemic and in a residential treatment is hard. I am having people constantly comment and try to define what recovery looks like.
Sometimes our versions of self-care are controversial. All that matters for me especially are feeling joy. I have been deprived of joy all my life and that is the biggest thing I'm reclaiming for myself.
I will not allow anyone to define what my progress/effort/recovery looks like anymore.
