Venting "Seek help"

[favouriteworstnight]

I have been seeing this therapist since November every other week but I don't feel like I'm making any progress. I'm mostly going for my social anxiety and depression. I feel like she tries to help me with my anxiety however she doesn't seem to take my depression seriously and I feel very very ill. Regarding social anxiety, she tries to help me make new friends and be more independent because of my overprotective parents, but that doesn't seem to work. She tells me to reach out to people but I feel so anxious that I can't and sometimes I feel broken beyond repair.

Like how am I supposed to try to reach out to people when I feel so anxious and hopeless, I feel like this is the worst part because I don't have the strength to get better like I used to and depression has fucked me up so bad. I feel that depression is the worst part, these past two months have been the worst of my life, she told me I looked less depressed but I want to off myself. I have a lot of difficulty expressing my feelings and thoughts, but I feel like she doesn't help me, like, my mom can make me comfortable talking about rough subjects when I don't want to, but she doesn't?

Today I wanted to talk about how depression keeps me from doing so many things and how I've been getting worse and worse, but she said I don't seem to take her seriously and I'm so mad, I was trying to open up. I said I'm struggling eating or drinking water and that my physical health seems to be declining a lot in the last few months because I obviously can't take care of myself anymore and I've been having impulsive behaviors. She didn't take me seriously and said I just needed to do it, but for me that's really hard. Why can't she see that I'm not interested in anything and I don't want to change anymore, not because I'm lazy but because I'm suicidal?

 

[got1992thumbs]

Fuck that is infuriating. It pisses me off having to see 'help is available' anytime I run a Google search. Like no it fucking isn't, judgement and shame is available, and usually expensive as hell to boot

 

[favouriteworstnight]

I know right. People love to act like everything is easy just because they aren't the ones suffering. It's okay to try to help people seek help and recover, it's good that people at least try to empathize and care for others, but they should understand how harsh reality is when you are suffering from an illness, because your view changes when you're ill, but other people's view doesn't. I am so infuriated by how people see depression, even when people say they care about mental health in the end they only care if you feel sad, but when you can't function no one understands.

 

[Mothgirl]

So many of the people I've met wind up losing all of their friends from telling them they are suicidal because society has conditioned those friends to respond to suicide with hostility and judgement. People don't want to confront the fact that it's okay and normal to be in that headspace, and I suspect so many people are running from those thoughts themselves and just telling themselves that life can be better.

It also sucks in the therapy world, since so many just want to give basic advice and worksheets and collect a check while feeling like they "helped" someone. Unless you have trusted people who accept you for being suicidal and listen and relate to you, reaching out and trying to connect with anyone is likely going to be met with a reminder as to why you don't in the first place.

Your mother seems to fall into the category of people who just want the symptoms of suicide to end without any of the problem being resolved - "oh cool you feel better now so I don't have to talk about this depressing topic!" I'm sorry that she's not truly listening to you and seeing what you're going through.

 

[msocks]

Fire her and go to someone else if you can. She's supposed to be working for you. What's the point of continuing to see her if you're still not comfortable with her after all these months and she isn't listening to you?

And that JUST DO IT garbage smacks of 'just stop being anxious and depressed.'

Therapy should be a tool. Has she gone over any techniques that you could use to counteract thought patterns when depressed at all? Or does she think that your depression is mild and caused by your anxiety? Even though you're sitting there trying to tell her it ISN'T mild. It's especially irritating that she's brushing off you reporting that your physical health is starting to suffer.

I'm not sure if you're interested in trying meds or continuing therapy with someone that isn't a money grabbing asshole. It can be really hard advocating for ourselves in healthcare settings especially with anxiety. But it's your choice.

Whatever you end up doing, I wish you the best though.

 

[Vizzy]

I have been seeing this therapist since November every other week but I don't feel like I'm making any progress. I'm mostly going for my social anxiety and depression. I feel like she tries to help me with my anxiety however she doesn't seem to take my depression seriously and I feel very very ill. Regarding social anxiety, she tries to help me make new friends and be more independent because of my overprotective parents, but that doesn't seem to work. She tells me to reach out to people but I feel so anxious that I can't and sometimes I feel broken beyond repair.

Like how am I supposed to try to reach out to people when I feel so anxious and hopeless, I feel like this is the worst part because I don't have the strength to get better like I used to and depression has fucked me up so bad. I feel that depression is the worst part, these past two months have been the worst of my life, she told me I looked less depressed but I want to off myself. I have a lot of difficulty expressing my feelings and thoughts, but I feel like she doesn't help me, like, my mom can make me comfortable talking about rough subjects when I don't want to, but she doesn't?

Today I wanted to talk about how depression keeps me from doing so many things and how I've been getting worse and worse, but she said I don't seem to take her seriously and I'm so mad, I was trying to open up. I said I'm struggling eating or drinking water and that my physical health seems to be declining a lot in the last few months because I obviously can't take care of myself anymore and I've been having impulsive behaviors. She didn't take me seriously and said I just needed to do it, but for me that's really hard. Why can't she see that I'm not interested in anything and I don't want to change anymore, not because I'm lazy but because I'm suicidal?

You should ask this in recovery section, where people are going through same struggle like you and they will try to help you

Suicide discussion is not the right section!

Hope you get better and find peace!

 

[favouriteworstnight]

You should ask this in recovery section, where people are going through same struggle like you and they will try to help you

Suicide discussion is not the right section!

Hope you get better and find peace!

Hmm okay, I want to cbt and I thought maybe people would relate to the reach out to help thing

 

[Vizzy]

I have been seeing this therapist since November every other week but I don't feel like I'm making any progress. I'm mostly going for my social anxiety and depression. I feel like she tries to help me with my anxiety however she doesn't seem to take my depression seriously and I feel very very ill. Regarding social anxiety, she tries to help me make new friends and be more independent because of my overprotective parents, but that doesn't seem to work. She tells me to reach out to people but I feel so anxious that I can't and sometimes I feel broken beyond repair.

Like how am I supposed to try to reach out to people when I feel so anxious and hopeless, I feel like this is the worst part because I don't have the strength to get better like I used to and depression has fucked me up so bad. I feel that depression is the worst part, these past two months have been the worst of my life, she told me I looked less depressed but I want to off myself. I have a lot of difficulty expressing my feelings and thoughts, but I feel like she doesn't help me, like, my mom can make me comfortable talking about rough subjects when I don't want to, but she doesn't?

Today I wanted to talk about how depression keeps me from doing so many things and how I've been getting worse and worse, but she said I don't seem to take her seriously and I'm so mad, I was trying to open up. I said I'm struggling eating or drinking water and that my physical health seems to be declining a lot in the last few months because I obviously can't take care of myself anymore and I've been having impulsive behaviors. She didn't take me seriously and said I just needed to do it, but for me that's really hard. Why can't she see that I'm not interested in anything and I don't want to change anymore, not because I'm lazy but because I'm suicidal?

Hmm okay, I want to cbt and I thought maybe people would relate to the reach out to help thing

Sorry did I miss something, in the op I don't see ctb mentioned anywhere, suicidal is mentioned with need help so the person is trying to recover and not committed to ctb 100 percent so you will get better answers in the recovery section!

 

[favouriteworstnight]

I'm not sure if you're interested in trying meds or continuing therapy with someone that isn't a money grabbing asshole. It can be really hard advocating for ourselves in healthcare settings especially with anxiety. But it's your choice.

I've been seeing a great psychiatrist lately. I was almost ready to CTB this week, but I talked to him (not about plans of course) I ended up feeling a bit better and that's weird because I already made up my mind two months ago and as the days went by I just felt even more decided. Obviously CBT is always an option, but maybe I can try one last time before making my last decision.

I feel calm and okay with my decision whataver it may be. Thank you, all the best to you

 

[dwindlingfirst]

I have been seeing this therapist since November every other week but I don't feel like I'm making any progress. I'm mostly going for my social anxiety and depression. I feel like she tries to help me with my anxiety however she doesn't seem to take my depression seriously and I feel very very ill. Regarding social anxiety, she tries to help me make new friends and be more independent because of my overprotective parents, but that doesn't seem to work. She tells me to reach out to people but I feel so anxious that I can't and sometimes I feel broken beyond repair.

Like how am I supposed to try to reach out to people when I feel so anxious and hopeless, I feel like this is the worst part because I don't have the strength to get better like I used to and depression has fucked me up so bad. I feel that depression is the worst part, these past two months have been the worst of my life, she told me I looked less depressed but I want to off myself. I have a lot of difficulty expressing my feelings and thoughts, but I feel like she doesn't help me, like, my mom can make me comfortable talking about rough subjects when I don't want to, but she doesn't?

Today I wanted to talk about how depression keeps me from doing so many things and how I've been getting worse and worse, but she said I don't seem to take her seriously and I'm so mad, I was trying to open up. I said I'm struggling eating or drinking water and that my physical health seems to be declining a lot in the last few months because I obviously can't take care of myself anymore and I've been having impulsive behaviors. She didn't take me seriously and said I just needed to do it, but for me that's really hard. Why can't she see that I'm not interested in anything and I don't want to change anymore, not because I'm lazy but because I'm suicidal?

I'm gonna give you some advice, idk if it will be helpful, and I might even be a hypocrite because I can't ever take my own advice. But anyway, make sure you DONT try to immediately open up about your mental health to a new friend. I've gotten ghosted many times even when I hardly gave them any info about how bad it was. One other important thing is that sometimes you just gotta make a tough choice where you risk being embarrassed, for example trying to talk to someone new. Ito just a leap of faith at that point, but you just make sure if you do end up embarrassed that it wasn't as bad as you'd thought it would be. I hope this helps and I wish you the best

 

[msocks]

I've been seeing a great psychiatrist lately. I was almost ready to CTB this week, but I talked to him (not about plans of course) I ended up feeling a bit better and that's weird because I already made up my mind two months ago and as the days went by I just felt even more decided. Obviously CBT is always an option, but maybe I can try one last time before making my last decision.

I feel calm and okay with my decision whataver it may be. Thank you, all the best to you

It's the impulsive and panicked attempts that are not well thought out with a higher chance of failing/injury. No one wants to end up with brain damage or locked up in a psych ward. So I'm glad that you're feeling calmer.

I think it's comforting to have most of a plan for whenever I could need it. If I need to CTB later at least I've already done some research. I just need to update that research and get my shit together at that point.

When I'm really depressed I'll revisit my chosen method. Like back in the mid 2000's it seemed like the amitriptyline cocktail was my way to go. So I've just kept that idea tucked away in the back of my mind for a long time. I hit a rock bottom a few weeks ago and ended up here. And now I think it's SN. Maybe inert gas if I can't get access to SN or make it with aluminum and sodium nitRATE like the instructions @a_user posted.

Guide: Making SN with Sodium Nitrate and Aluminium At Home! ( + Bonus: How to extract SN from curing salt)

Aluminum-Based Oxidation of Sodium Nitrate: A Simple Approach for Acquiring Sodium Nitrite (SN) a_user et al, 2023 This study explores a practical and safe method to produce sodium nitrite (SN), a chemical compound with diverse applications, by oxidizing aluminum with sodium nitrate. Amid...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Meretricious]

I have been seeing this therapist since November every other week but I don't feel like I'm making any progress. I'm mostly going for my social anxiety and depression. I feel like she tries to help me with my anxiety however she doesn't seem to take my depression seriously and I feel very very ill. Regarding social anxiety, she tries to help me make new friends and be more independent because of my overprotective parents, but that doesn't seem to work. She tells me to reach out to people but I feel so anxious that I can't and sometimes I feel broken beyond repair.

Like how am I supposed to try to reach out to people when I feel so anxious and hopeless, I feel like this is the worst part because I don't have the strength to get better like I used to and depression has fucked me up so bad. I feel that depression is the worst part, these past two months have been the worst of my life, she told me I looked less depressed but I want to off myself. I have a lot of difficulty expressing my feelings and thoughts, but I feel like she doesn't help me, like, my mom can make me comfortable talking about rough subjects when I don't want to, but she doesn't?

Today I wanted to talk about how depression keeps me from doing so many things and how I've been getting worse and worse, but she said I don't seem to take her seriously and I'm so mad, I was trying to open up. I said I'm struggling eating or drinking water and that my physical health seems to be declining a lot in the last few months because I obviously can't take care of myself anymore and I've been having impulsive behaviors. She didn't take me seriously and said I just needed to do it, but for me that's really hard. Why can't she see that I'm not interested in anything and I don't want to change anymore, not because I'm lazy but because I'm suicidal?

Some of this infuriated me, and also made me want to hug you tightly.

Therapy is a joke. And an exorbitantly priced one at that. If you have to pay someone to care, it's already too late. Therapy wouldn't be a profession if humans returned to having solid, closely knit communities. What communities do we have in modernity? Churches are the only example I can be think of in today's day and age. What if you're not religious? Where do you find community and like minded people? Where do you go for support and growth?

You should boldly ask your therapist what to do when she doesn't listen to you, or blatantly ignores your sincere cries for help. Ask her how to get through to HER effectively. Take it a step further, and turn the tables - make her do her own therapy methods on herself and see how effective and efficient she is. Or observe how taken aback she is by such requests.

If therapists cared and actually wanted to cure/help people, then they wouldn't have a career, especially such a lucrative one. If they give you all the tools you need to succeed alone, they lose a client. Ever notice how "therapy is a life long process" in many cases, and that's a normalized saying in regards to seeking help? Gee, I wonder why...

I once asked a therapist if they'd still care if I weren't paying them. I was met with an uncomfortably long silence in response.

 

[unnormal9]

I sought help. Where is it? I don't see the money. It's going on 9 years now.

 

[Lovey]

That doesn't seem to be a good therapist… If you can, definitely start seeing someone else. It is not professional (or even ethically okay) to assume you are not taking her seriously based on you just sharing how you feel. Doesn't seem like she can read you very well :/

 

[favouriteworstnight]

When I'm really depressed I'll revisit my chosen method. Like back in the mid 2000's it seemed like the amitriptyline cocktail was my way to go. So I've just kept that idea tucked away in the back of my mind for a long time. I hit a rock bottom a few weeks ago and ended up here. And now I think it's SN. Maybe inert gas if I can't get access to SN or make it with aluminum and sodium nitRATE like the instructions @a_user posted.

May I ask why did you choose SN? And do you think you will be able to get it? I want to do full suspension but I could get SN where I live

 

[FuneralCry]

Therapy is just a scam anyway, it only exists to profit from the endless pain that exists here in this world, therapists only want money that is all, which is a reason as to why suicide isn't accepted in society as being the logical option that it truly is, as people cannot profit from the nonexistent.

 

[woh6]

Perhaps talk to your psychiatrist about it? Not sure how your system works but hopefully he could help with getting a new one. Remember that not every therapist is automatically a good match with a patient. (although this one doesn't seem that great in general..)
Hope things work out for you!

 

[msocks]

May I ask why did you choose SN? And do you think you will be able to get it? I want to do full suspension but I could get SN where I live

I'm not interested in guns, partial/full suspension hanging, night-night, or jumping. Inert gas is a maybe but seems like it could be more expensive. SN seems fairly reliable if not discovered and a regimen is followed. Right now I wouldn't have access to benzos but I do have some Ambien for sleepiness. I've been prescribed antiemetics in the past so that wouldn't be hard to get. I also have beta blockers if I decide to use that. I think they might not be recommended anymore but some people have used them and appear to have been successful. If survival instinct doesn't kick in over the 2 days of following a SN regimen then I can feel confident in my choice that it's finally time.

I'm not planning on CTB anytime in the immediate future, I've gone back to a passive state. I've just always assumed I would CTB if I don't die from an accident or illness first. If certain conditions are met like losing my family, prolonged homelessness, or an utterly debilitating medical condition I would definitely be seriously considering it.

I'm not sure if I'll be able to get SN in the future with all the BS that's been going on. I've been thinking about getting some and storing it but I'm not sure yet. Also that's why I'm curious about making it with that guide. They've sent it off for testing so I'm following that thread. I think I may try to make it for shits and giggles in the future to see if it's viable.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

man i hate the therapists that just think telling you to "go outside more" or shit like that is gonna help. like you think im in this position because i dont want to? NO im here because i cant. its like having a broken leg and the doctor telling you to just walk on it. if you can i would try to find someone who can explore your struggles with you to find possible causes, because at least i think therapy is much more likely to work if the aim is to find the root of issues and deal with them, instead of forcing you to act normal and pretend there isnt something wrong so you "get used to it". hope this made sense. wish you the best of luck.

 

[girlsboysthems]

I have been seeing this therapist since November every other week but I don't feel like I'm making any progress. I'm mostly going for my social anxiety and depression. I feel like she tries to help me with my anxiety however she doesn't seem to take my depression seriously and I feel very very ill. Regarding social anxiety, she tries to help me make new friends and be more independent because of my overprotective parents, but that doesn't seem to work. She tells me to reach out to people but I feel so anxious that I can't and sometimes I feel broken beyond repair.

Like how am I supposed to try to reach out to people when I feel so anxious and hopeless, I feel like this is the worst part because I don't have the strength to get better like I used to and depression has fucked me up so bad. I feel that depression is the worst part, these past two months have been the worst of my life, she told me I looked less depressed but I want to off myself. I have a lot of difficulty expressing my feelings and thoughts, but I feel like she doesn't help me, like, my mom can make me comfortable talking about rough subjects when I don't want to, but she doesn't?

Today I wanted to talk about how depression keeps me from doing so many things and how I've been getting worse and worse, but she said I don't seem to take her seriously and I'm so mad, I was trying to open up. I said I'm struggling eating or drinking water and that my physical health seems to be declining a lot in the last few months because I obviously can't take care of myself anymore and I've been having impulsive behaviors. She didn't take me seriously and said I just needed to do it, but for me that's really hard. Why can't she see that I'm not interested in anything and I don't want to change anymore, not because I'm lazy but because I'm suicidal?

I am actually in a quite similar situation, but some efforts by my psychologist have been fruitful to some extent (getting the anxiety a bit under control, still pretty suicidal), and i am at a crossroads, will probably kill myself in the next two months. But yeah, like my life would have been so much easier if I could function like a normal person plus my neuroticism is borderline pathetic, now that i realize it. i just cant take it anymore i dont want to be like this.

 

[LittleJem]

Your therapist does not understand the reality of living with depression and how it eats all your functionality and there is nothing you can do (unless you find a helpful medication - so amazing you found a psychiatrist you like: they are the important person to help you. Stick with them and keep giving medications a chance, I hope you find one that helps).

People that don't understand depression are distressing when you are suffering like this because they don't understand your pain.

I personally think paying for therapy in a state of constant suicidal thoughts/lack of functioning is not worth the money, because there is nothing they can do for you. The only thing they could do for you is listen with empathy, but this 'fix it' therapist is not able to do that. Personally, if I want or need someone to help me cope with suicidal thoughts I call the Samaritans. They are there just when I need them and they listen and don't try and fix what cannot be fixed.

She might believe all kinds of things about depression which simply aren't true, because if she did understand what it does to people (I mean some people can't get out of bed, brush their hair, brush their teeth etc) then she would hear you better.

I'm reading a book at the moment which has one of the best mentally ill characters I have read. This character when she is unwell panics and cannot decide in a grocery store when she is food shopping. This reminds me of me, crying publically in Sainsburys because I cannot function enough or think straight enough to do my food shopping. That is on a day when I was functional enough to get out of bed, and some days I cannot do that.

If this therapist is upsetting you ask yourself it is worth seeing her again.

At least your mum sounds more compassionate and understanding.

(virtual hugs if you want them)