Help Seeing shrink tomorrow

[JustLosingMyself]

I've only just been discharged last week, yet I'm off my rocker.

I want to tell I spend most of my waking hours thinking about CTB, that I have a plan and all I need in place, just to get it off my shoulders. I'm quite aware that I'm risking another section (2 in 4 weeks would be a personal record), not happy about it but am having second thoughts and I desperately need help if I'm to have a chance.

I'm scared because a DBT therapy fail literally destroyed me last year and sent me around the bend in the most selfdestructive episode in my life (I'm old btw). My job and my marriage are nearly sunk; and most friends I had are now gone. Been out on sick leave for 6 months+ now staring at the ceiling. Don't know what to do or where to go anymore. I've been unable to keep any structure in my days.



I'm tired...

 

[JustLosingMyself]

Ah well
Saw shrink
His reaction: "Here... have some pills"
Fuck him, fuck his pills, fuck psychiatry (bloody quacks) and screw the (Irish) HSE

 

[JustAboutDone]

Arghhh sounds like they wasted your time :-(
I'm sorry. Did they arrange any other therapy or any follow up for you?

 

[JustLosingMyself]

Arghhh sounds like they wasted your time :-(
I'm sorry. Did they arrange any other therapy or any follow up for you?

Thank you
Therapy wasn't broached. The DBT I had was a complete fiasco, I ended up a lot worse.
There's a follow up appointment in 4 weeks to check how the epilim chrono I was prescribed works.
Don't want to take those tablets. I have BPD, not epilepsy; and the side effects stink.
Rant...

 

[JustAboutDone]

Therapy wasn't broached. The DBT I had was a complete fiasco, I ended up a lot worse.
There's a follow up appointment in 4 weeks to check how the epilim chrono I was prescribed works.
Don't want to take those tablets. I have BPD, not epilepsy; and the side effects stink.
Rant...

Is Bpd borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder?
I hate the way psychiatrists dish out rubbish drugs. A year ago I was sent away with quetiapine - refused to touch it. A month later Olanzapine - refused to touch it. Neither of these meds are applicable for my conditions!! Then they got the message. I'm convinced they must get a free t-shirt or set of golf clubs from a pharmaceutical company for perscribing this rubbish!

 

[JustLosingMyself]

Is Bpd borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder?
I hate the way psychiatrists dish out rubbish drugs. A year ago I was sent away with quetiapine - refused to touch it. A month later Olanzapine - refused to touch it. Neither of these meds are applicable for my conditions!! Then they got the message. I'm convinced they must get a free t-shirt or set of golf clubs from a pharmaceutical company for perscribing this rubbish!

Borderline
Stinks tbh. Controlled it ok until 5 years ago. First brush with psychiatry then. A serious accident 2 years ago sent me in a tailspin, and then the DBT therapist turned out to be incompetent but no recourse. Tired of trying to pick up the ever smaller pieces...
That rope is looking inviting atm, but I'm trying to hold out till the injury claim gets settled. At least my wife will be financially secure then when I go

 

[JustAboutDone]

Sometimes therapy just makes things worse unless you get a really decent one. I'm sorry this has happened to you. Fingers crossed you can find a way to cope until the injury claim comes through. That must have been a horrible thing to go through.

Are you able to get different medication from your doctor? I really feel for you x

 

[LastDay]

Me right now minus anyone knowing yet that I'm off my rocker lmaooo.

My advice is, if you have any hope left to be open and honest about your feelings and struggles. If you don't say anything you will continue to self destruct and suffer. Find a therapist specializing in BPD and if you are not feeling a therapist don't be afraid to find someone new. A strong connection to your therapist is essential especially to a borderline to keep you motivated and sticking to the program. At least it has been for me. However I'm currently on a downward spiral so I've been pretending I'm okay. Do not reccomend, it's super painful lol.

 

[JustLosingMyself]

Thank you for these
I'll check for the meds... though I'm not hopeful. Between one shrink in hospital who said none work for BPD (she seemed to care) and the outpatient shrink (who seems no to give a f###) I'll go with the caring one.

I'll have to find a private therapist I can afford who is qualified in DBT, quite rare in Ireland...

 

[JustAboutDone]

@Xali1970 don't give up hope yet. I don't know if Ireland works the same as England and you have a decent Gp surgery? Do some research and see if you can find some NICE guidelines for your worse symptoms then ask for medication for those. I'm sure I read on this forum that someone on here with Bpd takes a mood stabiliser and an antidepressant - hopefully they will find this thread and come forward as I've had a look through and can't find where I read it! (The perils of poor sleep and a non functioning brain cell) xx

 

[JustLosingMyself]

@Xali1970 don't give up hope yet. I don't know if Ireland works the same as England and you have a decent Gp surgery? Do some research and see if you can find some NICE guidelines for your worse symptoms then ask for medication for those. I'm sure I read on this forum that someone on here with Bpd takes a mood stabiliser and an antidepressant - hopefully they will find this thread and come forward as I've had a look through and can't find where I read it! (The perils of poor sleep and a non functioning brain cell) xx

I do, though he's quite wary of letting me close to tablets of any kind.

 

[JustAboutDone]

I do, though he's quite wary of letting me close to tablets of any kind.

Well I will keep my hopes up for you that you can find SOMETHING to help you through. Are you able to ask your GP if you can do any online CBT courses or anything while you wait? Our surgery offers this, I've not tried it but it seems popular?! I guess people get so desperate with waiting times they will try anything. It's sad isn't it when people want to help themselves keep well and they are thwarted in doing so! Xx

 

[JustLosingMyself]

Seen shrink again today...
Confirmed opinion...
He's a quack

 

[JustAboutDone]

Seen shrink again today...
Confirmed opinion...
He's a quack

Lmao!!!

Did you make them answer some questions to come to that conclusion?

Or did they just open their mouths and it was glaringly obvious

 

[JustLosingMyself]

Lmao!!!

Did you make them answer some questions to come to that conclusion?

Or did they just open their mouths and it was glaringly obvious

The latter...
Rattled on about our agreement to try an anti epileptic at a low dose to be ramped up.
When I stated I needed therapy, not tablets I was shrugged off and told to get a refill from my GP when the 4 week supply ran out...
Fat chance. I'll hand in the Rx to the pharmacy to be kept on file but not buying the..
Next appointment in 10 weeks.
Snakeoilsalesmen of the world unite... we are psychiatrists

 

[JustAboutDone]

The latter...
Rattled on about our agreement to try an anti epileptic at a low dose to be ramped up.
When I stated I needed therapy, not tablets I was shrugged off and told to get a refill from my GP when the 4 week supply ran out...
Fat chance. I'll hand in the Rx to the pharmacy to be kept on file but not buying the..
Next appointment in 10 weeks.
Snakeoilsalesmen of the world unite... we are psychiatrists

Ten weeks??? Oh fffs. That's about as much use as a chocolate fire guard.

I'm not surprised you are now a fully fledged believer in their quackery. Jeez. Did you find out if your GP surgery offers any sort of counselling?

Sometimes it feels like these people want to push you and make you crack, doesn't it

 

[JustLosingMyself]

Ten weeks??? Oh fffs. That's about as much use as a chocolate fire guard.

I'm not surprised you are now a fully fledged believer in their quackery. Jeez. Did you find out if your GP surgery offers any sort of counselling?

Sometimes it feels like these people want to push you and make you crack, doesn't it

GP doesn't offer Counselling services. He's good at mental health issues but cannot spend 50mins at a time with me.
Found a counsellor, had 2nd session. Is helping as a stopgap, but she's unfamiliar with BPD (At least she told me up front).
DBT is very rare in Ireland, and after having been dismissed from the only provider (told the therapist I didn't trust him and wanted someone else I was pushed out) I'm stuck for specialist. Mind you I didn't help myself when I told the psychiatrist where I was held that I wanted to go medieval on the therapist.
They didn't laugh

 

[JustAboutDone]

Lollling at "wanted to go medieval on the therapist" !!! Bet that went down well :-)

As you say, at least the current counsellor was upfront about not being a bpd expert - much better than some know everything therapist who actually doesn't

 

[JustLosingMyself]

Lollling at "wanted to go medieval on the therapist" !!! Bet that went down well :-)

Weeeeellll...
They asked how I thought of going about it.
I replied, in detail; stressing it was a well thought out fantasy. Haven't been involved in fisticuffs in 34 years...

When the police got involved it was a lot less fun. Nothing came of it but still an irritant.

Incompetent quacks...