second thoughts

[flufflepuff]

im having second thoughts about ctb tonight. my dad dropped by after not being here for so long, it feels weird to go through with it. also idk if im selfish for this but my main reason for making this post was that i was hungry. super hungry. i was debating breaking my 20 hour fast for a cookie and some spicy chips. writing on here is kind of like a journal because im thinking more clearly, i think ill go through with it still. i regret that my mom will most likely be the one to discover me, and my dad and brother will follow. but it has to be done

earlier today during my classes, i tried to hangout with my closest irl friend for lunch and she just completely disappeared without letting me know, even though we always sit together, and she knows i have no one else to sit with. i wanted to talk with her one last time, but she chose her more popular friends. im okay with it, but she probably wont be though

anyway im super hungry again. theres sour watermelon candy right next to me!!! i am playing dangerous games. imagine when i take the SN i puke tiny sour watermelons. that would BURN
actually, i cant even take pills without food/a huge amount of water (im really bad at swallowing them) so i think ill try to eat a small piece of the sandwich my dad bought me.
family finally reunited and i KILL MYSELF oh god i do feel guilty but whatever

 

[eggsausagerice]

a 20 hr fast is absolutely not necessary and just makes hunger cravings and nausea worse imo. you can do a 8 hr or 6 hr fast instead if you choose to eat tonight.

 

[sickofeverything]

a 20 hr fast is absolutely not necessary and just makes hunger cravings and nausea worse imo. you can do a 8 hr or 6 hr fast instead if you choose to eat tonight.

Do you have any recommendations when a 6 hour fast is fine vs 8 hours?

 

[flufflepuff]

a 20 hr fast is absolutely not necessary and just makes hunger cravings and nausea worse imo. you can do a 8 hr or 6 hr fast instead if you choose to eat tonight.

very true! it just the way my schedule worked out. im not able to eat for long periods of time, so i figured by the time i could take the sn restarting my fast would be a waste of time. but thank you for bringing it up! i didnt realize it could make nausea worse. i think ill try to restart it, or just brute force it honestly. spicy chips here i come! >:D

editing this to ask: does it truly matter the length of the fast? or just that your stomach is empty?

 

[eggsausagerice]

i didnt realize it could make nausea worse. i think ill try to restart it, or just brute force it honestly. spicy chips here i come! >:D

i had a super intense craving for korean corn dogs when i was trying to do a failed attempt with benzocaine (using it as a ctb method is misinformation). it made me think i would ascend to heaven if i ate one bite of food. i also had a headache and felt very faint because of how long i'd fasted since i spent most of the day asleep. i don't recommend fasting for most of the day if you can choose to do a shorter fast. in the sn protocol you can also drink water until 2 hours before your attempt, so you don't have to deal with dehydration headaches and can take your pills still. i typically have a low appetite so it's easy for me to fast, but it leaves me feeling weak and nauseous.

Do you have any recommendations when a 6 hour fast is fine vs 8 hours?

i wouldn't know. you can do a test run and fast for 6 hours then 8 hours on different days to see if your stomach empties more. it's been talked about on the forum as being more effective than 10-20 hour fasts overall.

does it truly matter the length of the fast? or just that your stomach is empty?

i'm not very smart so i'm not good at explaining it. but 8 hours is a good amount of time because that's how long it takes for your stomach to naturally empty. puking food and water out wouldn't mean that your stomach is really empty, for example. and the longer your stomach stays empty with nothing in it the hunger and more upset your stomach gets.

 

[MyMomWasMyLife]

im having second thoughts about ctb tonight. my dad dropped by after not being here for so long, it feels weird to go through with it. also idk if im selfish for this but my main reason for making this post was that i was hungry. super hungry. i was debating breaking my 20 hour fast for a cookie and some spicy chips. writing on here is kind of like a journal because im thinking more clearly, i think ill go through with it still. i regret that my mom will most likely be the one to discover me, and my dad and brother will follow. but it has to be done

earlier today during my classes, i tried to hangout with my closest irl friend for lunch and she just completely disappeared without letting me know, even though we always sit together, and she knows i have no one else to sit with. i wanted to talk with her one last time, but she chose her more popular friends. im okay with it, but she probably wont be though

anyway im super hungry again. theres sour watermelon candy right next to me!!! i am playing dangerous games. imagine when i take the SN i puke tiny sour watermelons. that would BURN
actually, i cant even take pills without food/a huge amount of water (im really bad at swallowing them) so i think ill try to eat a small piece of the sandwich my dad bought me.
family finally reunited and i KILL MYSELF oh god i do feel guilty but whatever

Second thoughts are a good thing. And thinking of your family is an even better thing. Your mom would be absolutely devastated. It probably wouldn't be any better for your dad and brother. You worrying about hurting them shows how much you love them. Not to mention that if you don't do it, you can continue to enjoy all the cookies and chips and all that good stuff!! ;⁠-⁠) You mention classes so that means you're still very young. You've so much more time to work at making things better. I hope you continue to have second thoughts.

 

[sickofeverything]

i had a super intense craving for korean corn dogs when i was trying to do a failed attempt with benzocaine (using it as a ctb method is misinformation). it made me think i would ascend to heaven if i ate one bite of food. i also had a headache and felt very faint because of how long i'd fasted since i spent most of the day asleep. i don't recommend fasting for most of the day if you can choose to do a shorter fast. in the sn protocol you can also drink water until 2 hours before your attempt, so you don't have to deal with dehydration headaches and can take your pills still. i typically have a low appetite so it's easy for me to fast, but it leaves me feeling weak.


i wouldn't know. you can do a test run and fast for 6 hours then 8 hours on different days to see if your stomach empties more. people usually do intermittent fasting for those hours and it's been talked about on the forum as being more effective than 10-20 hour fasts overall.

Got it. I've had almost no appetite due to depression, they say when you're dying your body knows and starts preparing by shutting down so idk if that's it. Just trying to be as safe as possible due to no antiemetics.