OffTheBullseye
Member
- Aug 31, 2024
- 16
I had an overdose last Friday that you can see from my post history. One of my friends was worried about me so I told him what happened because people were saying I should go to the hospital, so he spent the night with me in my room to make sure I was okay. He made me go to the emergency counselor the next day and I tried lying and saying it wasn't an attempt, it was just intense ideation (had a plan but got too wussed to act on it) and it was fine, but I guess my friend let it slip afterwards that I did have an attempt but I was scared of going back to inpatient.
The school's solution to this was to put me on a forced MLOA. They essentially said that I was causing too much stress and harm to other students by relying on them so heavily for emotional support that it was starting to negative impact their mental health, so I was a danger, which really, really fucking hurt. I didn't think I was that much of a burden to my friends. They also said some bullshit where I "need to make focusing on myself my full-time job instead of school," but I think it's really that they just didn't want me killing myself on campus since it would look bad on them and they needed me out. They gave me an hour to completely pack up my entire room, they were all rude as Hell the entire time, and they didn't care how much I was begging and pleading for them to reconsider, to have me do something else.
They unenrolled me from all my classes. They forced me to go home and I've already gotten into fights with my parents. My dad cancelled the birthday plans I had with my friends since I "can't be trusted." The school unenrolled me from my abroad program in London. I have no friends in the city where I'm at; they're all at school, and they're all too busy right now to stop and chat with me at all. I don't have health insurance to go on the IOP they're forcing me to go on, and it could take up until January to even get on Medicaid, so I might not be able to come back to class next semester, and I might be forced to graduate later than all my friends, too.
How the fuck is any of this supposed to make me want to kill myself less?
The school's solution to this was to put me on a forced MLOA. They essentially said that I was causing too much stress and harm to other students by relying on them so heavily for emotional support that it was starting to negative impact their mental health, so I was a danger, which really, really fucking hurt. I didn't think I was that much of a burden to my friends. They also said some bullshit where I "need to make focusing on myself my full-time job instead of school," but I think it's really that they just didn't want me killing myself on campus since it would look bad on them and they needed me out. They gave me an hour to completely pack up my entire room, they were all rude as Hell the entire time, and they didn't care how much I was begging and pleading for them to reconsider, to have me do something else.
They unenrolled me from all my classes. They forced me to go home and I've already gotten into fights with my parents. My dad cancelled the birthday plans I had with my friends since I "can't be trusted." The school unenrolled me from my abroad program in London. I have no friends in the city where I'm at; they're all at school, and they're all too busy right now to stop and chat with me at all. I don't have health insurance to go on the IOP they're forcing me to go on, and it could take up until January to even get on Medicaid, so I might not be able to come back to class next semester, and I might be forced to graduate later than all my friends, too.
How the fuck is any of this supposed to make me want to kill myself less?
