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FadingAway

Member
Jun 22, 2020
67
Has anyone else been afflicted with this terrible disease? I had a great life before this mental illness took everything from me. I never imagined things could turn so poorly for someone in this life. I'd CTB sooner but this illness has made such a mess of my life that I need more time to get many different affairs in order. I'll have to leave a dog behind too which is undoubtedly the most difficult part for me. I'm not sure if I can go through with re-homing him while still around and will have to leave him with my awful parents. Life sure sucks sometimes.
 
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Mooseanonsky

Mooseanonsky

Member
Apr 13, 2018
69
I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. It fucking sucks. It's just another thing I'm afflicted with. I used to take medicine for it and go to therapy but I decided to quit everything and just suffer because what's the point?
 
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Walilamdzi

.
Mar 21, 2019
1,700
What symptoms do you experience?
 
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Mooseanonsky

Mooseanonsky

Member
Apr 13, 2018
69
What symptoms do you experience?
Well for me, I have schizoaffective bipolar type so I basically experience bipolar symptoms and schizophrenic symptoms. I'm not entirely sure about the schizophrenic part, I honestly think my psychiatrist jumped on that because I told him I hear voices in my head all the time. Sadly, those voices are my only friends. I don't know. Maybe the diagnosis is accurate.
 
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F

FadingAway

Member
Jun 22, 2020
67
The meds are the worst part for me. Luckily the AP I'm on makes the SN route much easier. I suffer from extreme low motivation and the usual side effects like anhedonia, etc. Two psychotic episodes completely tore my life apart though and putting things back together has been impossible. It's hard to even describe my symptoms, I just feel completely worthless.
 
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W

Walilamdzi

.
Mar 21, 2019
1,700
Well for me, I have schizoaffective bipolar type so I basically experience bipolar symptoms and schizophrenic symptoms. I'm not entirely sure about the schizophrenic part, I honestly think my psychiatrist jumped on that because I told him I hear voices in my head all the time. Sadly, those voices are my only friends. I don't know. Maybe the diagnosis is accurate.

I'm diagnosed with bipolar, but I think during episodes some of the experiences are more on the schizo spectrum, I'm not sure. I kept thinking people I knew were other people recently. It was really very weird. Like I would know who they were sometimes and think they were a random other person I knew some of the time.

@FadingAway I've also been hospitalised for multiple psychotic episodes, it's awful isn't it?
 
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Mooseanonsky

Mooseanonsky

Member
Apr 13, 2018
69
The meds are the worst part for me. Luckily the AP I'm on makes the SN route much easier. I suffer from extreme low motivation and the usual side effects like anhedonia, etc. Two psychotic episodes completely tore my life apart though and putting things back together has been impossible. It's hard to even describe my symptoms, I just feel completely worthless.
God I hate antipsychotics. But you know, I probably should have kept taking them. I only learned after I stopped that they had antiemetic effects. Ugh now I have to scramble to get some meto. Then again, those side effects weren't worth it.
 
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FadingAway

Member
Jun 22, 2020
67
I was hospitalized for three weeks and it's indeed awful. For me, I feel like society has no place for me now. I live in the US but I assume it's the same elsewhere. I've been unemployed for over a year now and I have nothing to fill my days.
 
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foreverlikethestars

foreverlikethestars

Member
Jun 23, 2020
79
I'm afflicted with gender dysphoria and high functioning autism and theyve made my life miserable. It's nearly impossible to connect with people.
 
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pentobarbitaldreams

pentobarbitaldreams

Member
Jun 11, 2020
77
I have schizophrenia. I was extremely paranoid, causing me to embarrass myself at school, and talked about religion inappropriately with my friends. I was hospitalized and thought that the hospital was preparing me to become god. The whole time I was also hearing voices and occasionally hallucinating. My thoughts made no sense and were horrible. It is truly terrible
 
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dysfunctional

dysfunctional

Arcanist
Oct 26, 2018
459
I can relate. My life was relatively excellent till I suddenly became afflicted wwith bipolar 1. It has pretty much taken everything from me.
 
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W

Walilamdzi

.
Mar 21, 2019
1,700
I can relate. My life was relatively excellent till I suddenly became afflicted wwith bipolar 1. It has pretty much taken everything from me.
Me too, and for me it was brought on by meeting someone. If I had one wish it would be not to meet them and for none of the following events that ensued to have lead me to the point now where I'm typing this. Now I just want eternal sleep and to be freed from this confusing universe. But there are things that tie me to this existence. How strange it is to be anything at all.
 
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glittergore

glittergore

the sea, the sea
Jun 16, 2020
119
The SZD diagnosis has been thrown at me by a doctor in the psych ward due to my extreme paranoia and experience of some negative symptoms of schizophrenia, but my regular psychiatrist thinks I'm just bipolar with psychotic tendencies. Either way, dealing with both psychosis and a mood disorder is more debilitating than I can articulate. I'm sorry to hear that multiple people here have to deal with it. For me, it makes suicide such an appealing option.
 
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BobMorane

BobMorane

wizard
Apr 20, 2021
162
Some people still alive from this post ? I want to know what your life was like before the diagnosis and what lead to it (drugs, stress, death of someone close, etc ...)
 
Grant Me Death

Grant Me Death

Grant
Jul 26, 2021
21
I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder depressive type 3 years ago when I was 19 or 20 after I had a psychotic break and multiple hospitalizations and suicide attempts because I was convinced that someone would try to murder me.
 
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Bone

Bone

Sad Sack
Jul 29, 2021
168
how have y'all recovered after psychosis? after living through three of them, along with bipolar, i can't see much more hope after this..
 
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S

sillybillygo

Member
Aug 9, 2021
22
I haven't recovered. My life is a shit show. I'm in debt, dropped out of school, suffering memory loss, I have legal problems, I'm unemployed and lost all my friends and I am stuck looking up ways to ctb but no practical way to do it!!! And I thought I was God seriously wth!! I am so embarrassed by my actions and I never want to wake up again
I haven't recovered. My life is a shit show. I'm in debt, dropped out of school, suffering memory loss, I have legal problems, I'm unemployed and lost all my friends and I am stuck looking up ways to ctb but no practical way to do it!!! And I thought I was God seriously wth!! I am so embarrassed by my actions and I never want to wake up again
I'm bipolar with schizoaffective disorder
I haven't recovered. My life is a shit show. I'm in debt, dropped out of school, suffering memory loss, I have legal problems, I'm unemployed and lost all my friends and I am stuck looking up ways to ctb but no practical way to do it!!! And I thought I was God seriously wth!! I am so embarrassed by my actions and I never want to wake up again

I'm bipolar with schizoaffective disorder
Generalized anxiety and PTSD too. I think I fucked my life up so bad that not even God can help me
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
I have Schizoaffective disorder bipolar type. It sucks
 
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B

Beeper

Experienced
Sep 28, 2021
227
how have y'all recovered after psychosis? after living through three of them, along with bipolar, i can't see much more hope after this..
We have a lot in common. I have also lived through 3 episodes of psychosis that are linked to Bipolar I. Not sure if I am going to recover fully from the latest episode.

I am currently unemployed and facing some legal challenges.

I have considered changing careers or just getting a shit job to make ends meet, but CTB seems more likely.

My brain is struggling to recover. I have serious anhedonia and avolition right now.
 
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