Venting Scared of the unknown

[katesmith]

So I booked an air bnb for a few days and I have planned everything out for ctb for when hotels opened in the UK and today I got to my bnb and I just burst into tears. I am lucky becuase I have N and it won't be painful but I am scared of the unknown. I feel so alone. I feel so anxious about the whole thing. I want to, i need to but I am scared.

 

[Aloken]

Yeah, I totally get it. Where will I go to? What will happen to me? Etc etc. I tell myself that I will never be able to answer this question and whatever happens next will always be unknown to me, so I might as well do it, whatever happens happens.

 

[xLosthopex]

I have N also and am still quite scared of the unknown, but actually less of death itself and more so of the 'dying process', I'm naturally a very anxious person and I don't like the idea of a potential panic attack or survival instinct kicking in right after I've drank it...

 

[katesmith]

I have N also and am still quite scared of the unknown, but actually less of death itself and more so of the 'dying process', I'm naturally a very anxious person and I don't like the idea of a potential panic attack or survival instinct kicking in right after I've drank it...

Me too! And I told my parents I'm at a councelling retreat till friday to do ctb

 

[xLosthopex]

Yeah, I totally get it. Where will I go to? What will happen to me? Etc etc. I tell myself that I will never be able to answer this question and whatever happens next will always be unknown to me, so I might as well do it, whatever happens happens.

I try tell myself this also
I also know that, in my case at least, whatever comes after death can't be worse than what I'm going through now

 

[WornOutLife]

It's totally normal to be scared because even if it's eternal nothingness what's waiting for us...we just can't grasp the idea of not existing.

However, I'm not really scared of a hell or something like that because we're already living in one.
If there's something, I bet it's better than this goddamn blue rock and if there's nothing, it'll probably be just like the time before we were born; we won't realize!

Whatever happens, I just wish you lots of love and peace!

 

[katesmith]

It's scary though I am very anxious generally

It's totally normal to be scared because even if it's eternal nothingness what's waiting for us...we just can't grasp the idea of not existing.

However, I'm not really scared of a hell or something like that because we're already living in one.
If there's something, I bet it's better than this goddamn blue rock and if there's nothing, it'll probably be just like the time before we were born; we won't realize!

Whatever happens, I just wish you lots of love and peace!

Yeah you're right

 

[Aloken]

I try tell myself this also
I also know that, in my case at least, whatever comes after death can't be worse than what I'm going through now

That's definitely a nice thought to have.

 

[signifying nothing]

I wonder whether it's partially due to being somewhere unfamiliar too? Maybe taking some time just to settle in and feel more comfortable with your surroundings might help a bit.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think it is normal to feel like that. It is so surreal to think that we wont be here anymore and the unknown of what lies ahead can scare us as we simply do not know. I personally take great comfort from death, as it makes this life and all of the suffering we have been through seem so pointless in comparison. I wish you the best.

 

[popcorn]

if your scared you could always wait till you arent

you have all your life to ctb, . there is always time to wait till it feels right there is no rush in this. i hope your feeling even a little better today

 

[alown]

why be afraid, you will fall asleep with the N followed by a nice magical dream that takes you into a reality much more noticeable than the simulation in which we live.

 

[Thegoldenapples]

Op passed away last week with N from D shortly after this post. She was a really nice chick but life had become too much. RIP.

 

[czx85]

It's the survival instinct. It could be the last enemy standing in front of your permanent peace.
Drinking alcohol would help your brain to reduce fear, and making this battle easier

 

[In2TheVoid]

RIP