scared of hurting those i love

[bathinginmymisery]

i think the biggest thing im scared of when i eventually ctb would be hurting those closest to me, especially my two closest friends who've done everything they could to keep me afloat just to know it wasn't enough. if it wasn't for that, I would've ctb a long time ago. im so grateful for the people that love me, but it makes committing so challenging.

 

[lostovertime]

I have lost a few very, very close people to suicide. It is terribly sad to be on my end, I miss them everyday.. however, how are you feeling?
It is selfish for me to be mad or continue hurting for the lives I loved and lost but I can't imagine how they were feeling that ultimately led them to their choice. They are now at peace. I'm okay with that.
Do they know the way you are feeling?