FailureGirl
lost in limbo...
- Jul 5, 2021
- 133
I'm breaking and i feel it in my chest where its like I'm being torn apart in 5 different directions and i feel it in my head like a shattered mirror that already lost half its peices.
I'm almost never hungry anymore partly from the regular nausea and partly just no desire for food iv started losing weight.
I can barely look in a mirror as my reflection makes me sick and anxious and upset.
Open spaces, shops, busy places and just passing or standing near strangers triggers my anxiety
Loud noises like heavy rain, thunder, large trucks or trains give me panicked anxiety spikes, i had to run out of a cafe the other day because the background talking ended up sounding like i was under a huge waterfall.
I'm even at the point where I'm anxious around my own parents and some of my favourite songs cause anxiety.
Iv been disassociating stuff like cars sliding sideways and things floating, I'm having more moments when i truly think this is all a dream and nothings real especially the good moments.
My right hand never looks like its mine and my left too sometimes and when i look at them they warp like looking like a child's hand or a man's hand or just long long fingers.
I'm constantly arguing with the other me in my head and shadow man in the back of my mind is always watching me either silently or echoing horrible things to me about me.
I feel like I'v started losing my mind.
And now my family finally start to notice something isn't right and want to "help" but I'm too far gone my suit case is packed to ctb.
I'm almost never hungry anymore partly from the regular nausea and partly just no desire for food iv started losing weight.
I can barely look in a mirror as my reflection makes me sick and anxious and upset.
Open spaces, shops, busy places and just passing or standing near strangers triggers my anxiety
Loud noises like heavy rain, thunder, large trucks or trains give me panicked anxiety spikes, i had to run out of a cafe the other day because the background talking ended up sounding like i was under a huge waterfall.
I'm even at the point where I'm anxious around my own parents and some of my favourite songs cause anxiety.
Iv been disassociating stuff like cars sliding sideways and things floating, I'm having more moments when i truly think this is all a dream and nothings real especially the good moments.
My right hand never looks like its mine and my left too sometimes and when i look at them they warp like looking like a child's hand or a man's hand or just long long fingers.
I'm constantly arguing with the other me in my head and shadow man in the back of my mind is always watching me either silently or echoing horrible things to me about me.
I feel like I'v started losing my mind.
And now my family finally start to notice something isn't right and want to "help" but I'm too far gone my suit case is packed to ctb.