Starseedchip

Starseedchip

Born to Die
Oct 13, 2019
65
You ruined me. I only get one life, one shot and you wrecked it. All of my pain and suffering for fucking nothing! You sacrificed my happiness for your own selfish desires. I hope you know that you failed. You like to point and call names but it's you who's the loser. You never deserved to have me in your life. You never deserved to be called mom. I'm glad you'll die one day without a daughter.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Mm80, Winona [restored], lotus11 and 1 other person
lotus11

lotus11

Specialist
May 18, 2019
322
Please please please come back to me, I understand why you left but I love you more than anything, you're my best friend, the only one I feel safe with, my soulmate. We have been broken up a year and a half and I have missed you every single day. I know that I'm broken and you can't live with my eating disorder but I wish you would give me another chance. I know you said that you are not a 'prize' but without you, I feel hopeless. I am trying to be with other people, I am used to being alone, but I know deep down that nobody will compare to you. Come on, we are both around 30, neither of us have all the time in the world if we want a family. Am I really going to have to watch you have babies with another girl? If I am going to have babies without you I think it will never be with the person I truly loved...in that case I don't think I want them at all. Even if say 10 years from now I can somehow magically 'wipe you from my memory completely' by that time it would be too late for me to have a family. I don't get on or fit in with my 'old' family. I need a new life, a new place. I have learnt your culture, learnt your language, put years into loving you and it been a pleasure, but it's not been easy. You are the best man I have ever met, person in fact, and you deserve nothing of my illness. It probably sounds so stupid to someone else 'just move on and meet someone else' but it's not like that to me. So probably it's selfish to ask for another chance, I want you to be happy. But I am so so very tired, and I don't know if I will be able to go on without you. I love you so much tiger.



(PS, this is a great idea for a thread btw!)
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Aww..
Reactions: Deleted member 4993, Winona [restored], XYZ and 1 other person
Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,422
Thank you for proving to me that I'm not worth helping, that I am too broke to fix and that I am worth leaving behind.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Deleted member 4993 and Winona [restored]
flatearth

flatearth

dot
Aug 27, 2020
108
i miss you so much and i still think about everything you said to me
but one thing that you've said has stuck with me more than anything else
"you didn't even know the real me"
who is the real you? was the version of you i knew made specifically for me? will i ever get to know the real you?

the worst part is even though i know the person i fell in love with was fake
i still want you
but i know that can never happen.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Deleted member 4993 and Winona [restored]
VIBRITANNIA

VIBRITANNIA

lelouch. any pronouns. pfp is by pixiv id 3217872.
Aug 10, 2020
1,156
i hope you're doing well. i hope you're doing better. i miss the time we had together, even if it was only a few months. you made me feel alive. i hope you've found better.
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: Deleted member 4993 and Winona [restored]
Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,422
Dammit. You rescued me every time I needed you. You never failed me. Now I'm sinking fast and you're gone. Completely. i need you now. ;-;;-;;-;;-; I'm drowning and I need you. dammit.
Tenor4
 
Last edited:
  • Aww..
Reactions: Homecoming and Winona [restored]
Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,422
See above. I'd say the same thing again today. Everyday until I can grasp an understanding of how things turned out the way they have.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Winona [restored]
Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,422
When I think about all of you, I get tremours and I panic, like a small child lost in a crowd. I've been trying to figure out how to get over all of you, how to find closure when it just isn't possible. And then I realise that each time I think of you all, I'd off myself if the SN were in front of me.

I may be foregoing emails/letters (but suicide is selfish and I'm crazy anyways) because I can't say anything that would make up for what I'm going to do and apparently you all think i'm fine on my own. I'll just look over photos, read old emails and remember the good and the bad times. That pushes me over the edge and, with the mixtures in front of me, it will push me to drink and drink and drink...
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Winona [restored]
icanhasnick

icanhasnick

Student
Sep 3, 2020
155
I spent hours in the middle of the night trying to plan how to include you after I'm gone. I found a way and was ready to put that in place until I realised that it's probably best if you aren't included at all - that that part of my life (the biggest part) you represent and all of the people involved just doesn't know if I'm alive or dead.

That you can live thinking I'm just a flake who fled. That would be best, I think. For now, anyways...
 
  • Like
Reactions: Winona [restored]
ItsOverIsntIt

ItsOverIsntIt

Experienced
Sep 9, 2020
234
To my mom: I hate that you care so much about my grades. They aren't bad and I am trying my best. Maybe you shouldn't have forced me to take such hard classes that I am not interested in and don't like. I am trying my best but I cant stand you breathing down my neck just because I didn't get that 100%. Why cant you see that I am trying and every time you make a comment about my work you make me feel so bad about myself and it makes me put even less effort into my next assignment because I know I can never live up to your impossible standards.
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: Wayfaerer, Winona [restored] and XYZ
woxihuanni

woxihuanni

Illuminated
Aug 19, 2019
3,299
Killing me will bring about your own death from dementia in the midst of your hoarding in good time. I just know it looking at you.
 
Blank Dreamer

Blank Dreamer

Seeker of Dreams
Sep 11, 2020
72
"Hey,
It's been awhile. I hope you're doing well... wherever you are... It's been awhile since you left us. I was meaning to come and visit you but... well things don't look to well on this entire world right now. At least you're not here to experience it, heh... I know you've heard me say this from up there but I still cannot say it enough. I wish it was me, instead of you. I should've been the one to die, not you. I wish I knew what caused you to take your life. It was a huge surprise to everyone. I saw you weeks prior after years of not seeing you. You seemed the same happy and silly girl from previous... You had an excellent career and so many people who loved you. Having so many opportunities to see the world and gain so much. Yet... why? Your leaving is the only one that has affected me this much...

i didn't want to attend your funeral... because I felt like I didn't have a right to be there. I was never close to you compared to others but... I'm glad... to have attended either way. It's just, I couldn't walk up to see you in that coffin. I guess a part of me didn't want to believe it. Seeing so many people attend and mourn for you... It really hurts me. Seeing your sister trying to speak... was all too difficult. Maybe I'm being selfish... comparing myself to you. I don't have that many people care for me. I don't deserve to continue living. For someone that isn't doing much in life, why am I still living and you don't? I don't get it... it's not fair.

Seeing your coffin being placed six feet under... *sigh* I know what you're saying... You don't want me to leave either. I know you don't want that of me. But.. I'm afraid I can't do that. One day... I'll come and see you up there. We can catch up more properly than previously. I'm sorry... and I miss you. We all do... Rest well..."
 
M

Morphinekiss

Enlightened
Jun 8, 2019
1,207
I'm sorry I never told you I loved you.
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: flatearth and Deleted member 4993
Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,422
I'm only going to say this once - to your face or to a screen instead of your face:

You are the only person in the world who made me listen as you told me, in no uncertain terms, that you "love" me and "haven't abandoned" me! You MADE me believe you! Beut you have abandoned me. In no uncertain terms.

I know "it's not fair" that I need you and I know that I'm only good enough to be left behind. It's my fault for believing you almost a year ago. My fault. And now, my problem.
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: lotus11, XYZ, checkouttime and 1 other person
GrumpyFrog

GrumpyFrog

Exhausted
Aug 23, 2020
1,913
I don't owe you anything. No one owes you anything. No one is obligated to put effort into making you happy, everyone has a right to have their own life regardless of whether it makes you feel upset. You are loved by many people, but if you keep telling everyone "this isn't enough, I demand more", you will push even more people away. I'm sorry, but it's true
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: XYZ and Deleted member 4993
Wayfaerer

Wayfaerer

JFMSUF
Aug 21, 2019
1,938
To my father (deceased):

The times I've spent with you growing up were my life's greatest moments, but you were completely worthless in your role as "Father." You were never a parent to me but only a buddy, and I was too easy on you before I had learned of your failures.

To my mother:

God, you are so stupid. You are really really fucking stupid.
 
  • Like
Reactions: XYZ
XYZ

XYZ

I just can’t get these damn wrists to bleed
Jul 22, 2020
800
I hate you.

I never knew hate until you nestled yourself in my life. Until you shouted and hit me the first time. Today you yelled at me so much, I threw up in the bathroom and cried there all evening. Now my stomach aches so badly.

I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

But more than that I hate myself for not being strong enough to kill myself.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: searchingfreedom, Wayfaerer and BitterlyAlive
GoodPersonEffed

GoodPersonEffed

Brevity is my middle name, but my name was TL
Jan 11, 2020
6,727
Own your shit. Own your choices. I don't respect you.
 
  • Like
  • Wow
Reactions: Homecoming, Wayfaerer and BitterlyAlive
141592653

141592653

TW She/Her
Aug 9, 2020
119
Dear humanity,
You hide behing your morality and your false pretents. But all you say is flat, all you think is boring, all you do is pointless, as this sentence is. I cared about you and I believed in you. I don't believe in my humanity though, I don't wanna be a part of this. I don't want to enjoy a glass of sparkling water watching my green peas grow forgetting that the single fact that I exist is a burden for millions of people who are dying because of the occidental world. But I cannot endorse all this pain either. So goodbye cruel world... I won't miss you, hope you won't miss me.
Sincerely not yours,
@141592653
 
  • Like
Reactions: Homecoming
woxihuanni

woxihuanni

Illuminated
Aug 19, 2019
3,299
Fuck your hollywood face and deep-seated self-loathing. You should loathe yourself, too, not that you are wrong in that. Dishonorable twat.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Salt
S

Salt

Member
Sep 30, 2020
16
why didn't you guys murdered me when u were finished?like every other rapist's! why did you left me under open sky? !
 
  • Love
Reactions: All washed up
Rue89

Rue89

Visionary
Feb 10, 2020
2,726
I'm not good with words, especially speaking them, so I'll keep them simple.

To my brother who has verbally abused me for many years, actually for most of our lives.
"This is for all the hell you put my through. Go fuck yourself."

To my loving mom.
"I will never be happy here on this earth. Please let me go. I'm sorry and I love you."
 
  • Like
Reactions: Coolchicka, lotus11 and Salt
trashhologram

trashhologram

⚰ Baby, let me decompose ⚰
Dec 15, 2023
325
"Bitch please. You decided that 30€ is worth more than our relationship? I don't buy your story; you could have texted me saying you can't pay me back and it says volumes you didn't do that. You have become a literal speed whore. I ain't paying for these. Go suck some dick, hoe."
 
R

rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
3,709
There is no need to blame anyone. What is done is done. Knowing you, you will of course endup making this all about you. This isn't about hurting you. This is about stopping my hurt. Please try to stop blaming me and let me rest atleast in my death.
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
20,968
"I doubt you're thinking of me right now but know that almost every night these past few years I've been thinking of you. I wouldn't normally say this to you since it's not meant to be when it comes to us and you're probably still happier with him but I do miss you. I've lost the ability to care about any of my friends, family, or even myself but you I still care about. That's why I am sorry to say that in about four more years when I turn 30 I will have to break my promise to you not to end my life. I know how much this will break your heart but I fear that either way I shouldn't be allowed to live because I'm just that much of a bitter, terrible person. You're lucky I'm a coward or I would have broken it already. Four years is not a very long time to turn my life around from the point where it's at now and I now know for a fact that there's no chance in hell I'll ever find someone like you again so why bother trying. I'm just going to resign myself to loving a certain fictional character until it becomes weird to do so (like when I'm 30)."
Hey you stupid fucktard, it's you from almost three and a half years later. I'm about to turn 30 soon and I'm here to tell you your life doesn't get better, in fact it gets worse. In about a month your heart is about to get broken again by a different girl. I'm not saying you should avoid her but I'm just prepping you now so you'll thank me later. I know you only have about five days before she decides to change her mind about you so do whatever it takes to meet her in person. I don't know, maybe you'll still find some way to fuck that up too knowing how stupid you are. It doesn't get that much better, sadly.

Oh yeah and I've already semi-moved on to a different girl now but I still wanna kill myself so have fun being me, loser.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: boddibo
4

4g1vvvven

🔍 Looking for the nicest exit 🚪
Feb 14, 2023
179
I'm very very sorry for who I am and have been, any hope I've given you, for everything
 
sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,013
Why did you stop talking to me? Like honestly I don't really care but still…
 
Last edited:
wearetired

wearetired

Member
Jan 24, 2024
13
Why? I was a child. I was so small. I just wanted you to love me. I just wanted you to be happy. Sometimes I could make you be happy and every was okay but when I couldn't you hurt me. Why did you do that? Why wouldn't you just be happy with me? What did I do? I never could tell why you was mad. Just that it was my fault
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: reclaimedbynature, trashhologram and rozeske
trashhologram

trashhologram

⚰ Baby, let me decompose ⚰
Dec 15, 2023
325
I regret that I gave you one last chance even though you fucked it up the next day. I had photos of my black eyes but I deleted them. You fractured my sternum but I didn't go to the doctor, I did drugs and suffered through it. You're free and in the same city as me. You don't deserve to be here. You deserve to be in prison. That's where you belong, you know it. Everyone knows it. You've spent more time in prison than as a free "man". Yes, quotation marks since you're lacking balls to have a fair fight. You attacked me when I was lying down and drunk. I should have told the cops everything you did that day. But I loved you. I don't understand why. Now I wish you were dead. And you probably will be soon. Not because I will do anything but you know I know people too. They know everything .
 
asiht

asiht

Member
Oct 17, 2019
24
T,
I had no idea I was falling in love with you. It wasn't expected. Obviously this was not good because of the fact that I already had a family. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to properly explain why I stopped talking to you. My OCD was very, very severe at this point and I was forced to start avoiding a LOT of things, including you. I'm truly sorry. I wish I could somehow find you and apologize. I wish I knew how you are doing now (It's been 15 years!?). All I can do is hope that you are doing well and happy.
-S
 

Similar threads

S
Replies
8
Views
187
Suicide Discussion
ijustwishtodie
ijustwishtodie
pandorasactor
Replies
3
Views
119
Suicide Discussion
Seiba
Seiba
brickedup
Replies
23
Views
816
Suicide Discussion
brickedup
brickedup
gummyshark
Replies
3
Views
237
Suicide Discussion
MatrixPrisoner
MatrixPrisoner